I'm having a hard time building sexual tension. I've spent many years avoiding women and any hint of sexual tension until relatively recently (no, its not something I'm proud of but at least its now in the past). Approaching isn't all that difficult. Casual conversation is easy. I'm getting comfortable using kino and am more daring with it every day. But I'm completely failing to build sexual tension. Its happened a couple of times by accident but normally I freeze up when I try to escalate. The brain just shuts down. Its like everything I've learned simply disappears. I never get as far as a kiss or any sort of mutual caressing.

The times its happened by accident: Significant quantities of alcohol were involved. I was so totally oblivious about what was happening I didn't even realize until the next day. Never went anywhere, just thinking back I'm almost certain that it could have if I hadn't had so much to drink.

I have Vin DiCarlo's Escalation Ladder and 60 Years of Challenge's ebooks and read through Chief's guide to outer game. I'm steadily (if slowly) improving at the beginning stages but then I hit that wall and I either freeze up or have to back down if I want to continue the interaction. Backing down is what comes naturally (as you might guess) but I do push that boundary regularly.

It doesn't feel like fear but I'm not ruling it out. Have I conditioned myself against sexual escalation? (Thats a depressing thought)

Any suggestions on how I get past this? I'm trying to work through it with a combination of meditation, self-examination, and persistence but so far I'm not getting results.

You have to practice escalating that is the only way. Try going for her hands at least once on your next night out. You'll realise its not that big a deal and as you keep exposing yourself to it. Soon like approaching it will be normal and consistent for you to do it.

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"Once you learn to feel the fear and do it anyway, the outcomes will come."- 60yoc

My journal of adventures and escalation: time-to-go-for-the-kills-escalation-blo ... highlight=