Hi,

Since I read some pua material I try not to chase whatsoever. Now I know some of you are totally against chatting and texting, but I to find it useful and even fun.

Now for the problem. I have the feeling I have to initiate almost all the convo's with most girls and when we text I most of the time keep the convo going by asking some stuff or trying to make some interesting statements and talking a bit about them. Now at what point should you say f this and stop putting in that much effort.

Now I wonder if I sometimes end the convo too early because I'm that focussed on not chasing.

An example : after a bit of convo
Me : What's the most stupid thing you've done while beeing drunk?
Her : hush hush, you first
Me : I thought you studied law
Her : Yeah, but what does that have to do with it
Me : Well I asked it first, so I have the right to get the first answer
Her :Good for you, but then I stop answering
Me : dull girl
Her : Look who's talking

At this point I decided not to answer anymore. We are gonna have a drink in a few days, so I'll still talk to her. But should I have followed up with something like " It can't be that bad" to keep the convo going, or is it best to just end the convo at this point?


Thanks for the help!

- Achilles

Honestly man, I'd say girls that respond that way aren't even worth talking to, so I would've stopped exactly the same way you did.

The only thing is, it wasn't a very good question.. By asking for the "stupidest" thing she's done she feels like her answer is just going to make her look bad, so in a way I can see why she didn't want to tell you. I'd say just be careful how you word things and always think "what would I think if someone asked me this question?" before you send them. My quick bit of advice anyways.

-Kwik

Thanks for the reply.

I see what you mean, I should have probably used funniest instead.
But for my main question, do you guys have like a maximum amount of times you initiate a convo? Like after you started the convo 3 times in a row you let it up to her ... or isn't there really a general guide line for this ?


- Achilles

When I see that, I say stuff like "No" or "What kinda shit is this?" or "Da fuq?" or "Fuk u say?" Or on days I don't feel like arguing, I'll draw the suspense, "Damn.. it was crazy - can't believe it."
Really direct about controlling my frame. I WILL NEVER BUY INTO A BITCHES FRAME. I WOULD RATHER DIE.

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I think that two times you initiate contact and get no reply(on txt, unreturned calls) in a row, you should be prepared to move on. Althow if i like her, i will try to initiate more that twice. With the ones who sincerely apologise that "they forget/were busy".

But in your case, technically, she was replying. She could just close the convo if she wanted to.

My advice would be to cut the bad thread and change the subject. She probably detects that you are asking her the typical guy questions like "Do you consider yourself adventerous?" or "What's the wildest thing you've ever done?" And she knows you probably just want to draw the convo to something sexual. That's why she gives you bitch-shieldy and shit-testy responses. That's her way of hinting to you that what you are doing isn't working. Learn from it.

You need to realize that all these little canned routines don't work on every chick, especially if they've been gamed by a lot of dudes using the same lines over and over. We could talk all day about what you could say that "might" work better, but I think its more productive to try and understand what isn't working, and learning to avoid those pitfalls.

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it's up to you, but as a strategy to get girls to go out with you, or increase interest, texting is probably detrimental rather then instrumental, there has been a somewhat recent surge of text game threads about escalate through text etc. so apparently some guys have alot of success with texting increasing their chances, how ever what I have found is this

If you play your game right in person and make a proper impression

-the girl has been screened so you know she is interested
-the girl will know you you are (if you didn't really have time to talk, this is where you build rapport over the phone or text until you figure you have the rapport covered and you know each other all other points should still be handled though)
-the girl will know what you are sexually interested
-the girl will want to see you again cause she enjoyed her time
-a date will already be set up

this is assuming you didn't have sex with her yet and just have a phone number

now, the problem with texting to ''game'' a girl is this, interest is constant, and in my opinion social likeability or how a girl assosiates positive emotions to you, is a big factor in her wanting to be around you, the more you text her, the more you give her access to your attention, the less of a comodity it is, the less she has to invest to get it, and if she can get it over the phone not only does she have less of a reason to meet you, but on top of that, she is more likely to become desensitized and overly comfortable with you, think of it like if you were to have an ugly girl interested in you, and you were willing to go hang out with her only if she was fun, you first meet her and she is super fun and funny, so you give her your number, now if she didn't call you for a week and she descided to call you, you would still view her as a fun funny girl, and might still be cool with meeting up with her to have a couple laughs maybe share a drink or something cause she is cool to hang out with, now OTOH, imagine this girl made a good first impression but she was desperate as fuck for the cock, so she called you that day, and the next, and the next, over and over trying to force text conversations about random things that don't matter to you, constantly trying to be funny or witty, even when you are busy she tries to persist, would that not annoy you pretty fast (lets assume you are not physically interested in her at all, she is 2/10 morbidly obese girl trying to be your friend), that first impression fades really fast and she de-values her own attention, her jokes become less funny cause you can tell she is trying too hard and she really cares and needs this

now with that in mind, can you see how it applies to girls?, alot of guys assume they have to keep contacting girls to ''maintain the interest'' but more then likely it will kill the interest, a good way to field test this for yourself is to only initiate contact with a few girls 1 time a week, and initiate with a few others every day, give them the best convos you can with some good attention that stimulates positive emotions (keep it light, flirty andhave fun, instead of trying to be serious), note the flake/non-responsive rate of the girls that you talk to every day, vs the girls that you only talk to once a week, gradually once it is regular to have little chats once a week, stop calling or texting them, take note of girls that start texting/calling you and initiating

with that in mind, even better then contact once a week, is simply having the date set up, showing up to the date, and fucking the girl before she loses interest, maintain that momentum to sex, once you have had sex, you continue having sex to keep the girl around, rather then wasting your time killing those feelings with her by trying to game the shit out of her when she probably made up her mind about if she would be interested in fucking you 30 seconds after meeting you


this is pretty simple, your game just kind of sucks, you are seeking investment from her, baiting her to qualify when she is not in a good mood or acting social at all, and when she demonstrates this, you don't take the hint and you try to force it, maybe you aren't doing enough likability type shit to get her assoiating positive emotions to you (bringing value, building attraction, what ever the fuck you want to call it, basically non needy fun communication)

also, it's hard to generate positive emotions over text if that frame work is not already set up in person, the easiest way to do that and have her assosiate that with you, is
1) don't be needy
2) feel positive emotions yourself while you interact, make your goal enjoying yourself and feeling good
3)doesn't really matter the content of what you say, as long as you are vomiting those good emotions onto her, not reacting to her and not trying to get anything from her

so if that frame work isn't set up, you are better off not asking her questions, either building rapport, or breaking rapport rather then seeking it
this is overthinking and overgaming IMO, if she flakes you then you probably killed it over text or had a shitty initial interaction (didn't screen hard enough, or just plain sucked)

Hey,

Thanks for the responses! I'll definitely try to implement them in my game.

Just my last question on this topic, my main sticking point. When should you stop initiating the convo yourself. When I start the convo I get respons, but they don't start it. Should you keep trying until they give a clear sign to get lost or should you just let it be at a certain point and wait for them to initiate?

Thanks again for the help!


- Achilles

totally up to you,

if you want to copy me, I just like to call girls on the phone when I want to hang out with them, and if there is texting going on, it's 90% of the time not initiated by me unless I'm extremely bored

GOOD LUCK