Hey, just registered here.

Maybe I'll make a longer threat or FR where I say more about myself, but for now I'll keep it short:
Basically, I've gone to religious schools all my life that separate boys and girls, so I haven't had all that much interaction with females. I've pushed myself to get better at talking to them, but I still have trouble kiss closing them. I can usually get numbers, but I always feel like things are going well but then something gets screwed up because I didn't work fast enough or know when or how to make the right move.
I also have some anxieties/reservations about touching girls because due to my religious background, touching the opposite sex is not encouraged. Obviously I like it, but I feel a little more self conscious about doing it and I feel like if I'm around people they'd notice it more. Also having gone to single gender schools my whole life doesn't help with knowing whats a normal or good way to touch a girl. I'm in college now, but I'm trying to compensate for 18 years of being clueless about girls. Also, I have my own room in a house near campus, so I'm hoping to use that as a tool that can help me.

Most of the girls I would hypothetically try to get with are from social circle, so I also am way more afraid of rejection, because then you see them everyday, and they tell their friends about you.

I just need some good ideas about ways to get to a situation where I can get a girl I'm vibing with to kiss me- and I want to be fully confident she's down before I go in for it.

Hey there Greg.

I just got back to the game after 2.5 years of a relationship, so you can imagine I'm a bit rusty and have some minor (and some major) anxiety problems, just like you

Although my situation is far less complex than yours I think I can offer some tips for you to overcome the kind of anxiety and fear you have.

1. Be touchy. 90% of people find it normal to be touched (meaning, recieving pat on the back, pat on the leg, a hug, etc) Do not be afraid that people will take your touch as agressive or un pleasant. Girls, hot ones in particular are used to guys trying to put their hands all over them so believe me, they are used to that.

2. Be a hugger. Try to hug as much as possible. Huging is a sign of affection, trust and comfort. When you hug, you kinda stablish a bond of trust that's slightly stronger than shaking hands or waving (to say hello or good bye for example). Try this: next time you meet your friends, instead of just waving to say hi, or shaking hands, hug them like you hadn't seen them in months. Same applies for your family members.

3. Say hello often. Hello is a very powerful word that can help you bring people closer to you, even if you don't know them. Hello will help you being noticed more thus recieving more positive attention from friends, peers, colleagues, and people you don't (but want to) know; girls for example. A big problem with girls and guys knowing each other is that, either usually guys, out of fear or shyness do not say Hello, or, thinking they're playing it "cool" they ignore the girls, thinking that this will get them interested all of a sudden.

Hi is the first and foremost basic opener ever. Want to feel comfortable around women? Start by letting them know you exist and say Hi, Say Hi a lot (remember to smile)

4. Seek to start small conversations with Girls you see (even if they are not Hot Babes). Might be the lady at the drugstore, or the cashier at Wallmart, a waitress at a coffee shop or an old lady at the subway; any woman will do
Ask them about the weather, about their clothes; ask them the time, directions to get somewhere, the location of a restaurant, anything... Ask them their opinion about something you have in mind (yes i know, just the thought of approaching a women can be daring but remember. HELLO is your first opener

Example, if you're at the mall and you see an old (or young) lady at the vegetables isle, say something like "Hello... Excuse me, do you think the (whatever vegetable) are ripe? I don't know much about vegetables and I want to make a (vegetable) soup today, I'm learning to cook....." THATS IT....

The idea behind this Point no.4 is just to get used to approach and talk to women as much as you can.

5. Learn to read IOIs that can indicate you when a girl is interested..
There's a good thread on IOI's around but just to sum up some of the most notorious nones:
-She touches her hair
-She stares at you
-She holds eye contact
-She wets her lips while looking at you
-She asks you things like your Bday, your Gfriend, your pennis size....erm... well, not that one haha
errmm.... (better look for that thread )

Learning to identify those IOI's during an interaction can help you know when a girl is interested in you and how much.

6. Another advice is just Letting go. IF you meet a girl and you do not care much about her opinion about you, just let go, if you feel shes into you and you feel desire to kiss her, just go (this is where im at right now, letting go)....

_________________
".. I will learn all that I've forgotten, I will succeed where I'd previously failed, and even if I don't I wont stop, cuz this is not just about girls, this is about Life "

I agree with everything that was posted above. However, I should add that you should not try gaming girls in your social circle! The reason for this is, is just as you stated, you will see them every day!!

When you are gaming people, try it on random strangers/people you don't really know or you may not see again. That's not to say that you should practice touching strangers. Practicing kino on friends is good. Just don't game them unless you want a serious relationship or something. Anywho, you should try making conversations with random people as it was stated above.

I would also recommend Style's 30 day challenge book. I'm sure you can find it somewhere in the interwebs. Good luck!

Hey GoodGuyGreg, welcome to the forum

I take into account your background and I know you say it isn't encouraged, but if you want a kiss to happen, you need to make yourself comfortable with the idea so you can actually make it happen.

I'll assume you've built rapport and comfort with your girl and you just need that last little push.

I'd just try to come in under the radar, I'll quote a good technique from Mystery its actually quite low risk and you can handle any rejection relatively easily and calm.

When she's in the middle of talking - interrupt her (not rudely) and say "shhh... you talk too much... do you want to kiss me?" *you could put your finger on her lips if you like*

(Be forward and try to be confident as you say this)

You'll have 4 main outcomes:-

Yes or any positive IOI's - GO FOR IT!
I dunno/Maybe... Respond "Well... lets find out - Come here" (Swallow that pride and take lead)
No Respond "Hey! I didn't say you could... you just seem to have something else on your mind" (Then progress with the rest of the interaction)
Not here - Respond "I Understand..." *with a playful smile or wink* and isolate (Move away from her her group/friends or whoever)

I know it seems nerve wrecking but you can never be 100% sure, but hope this will help.

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As with trying this on with girls in your social circle, I'd advise caution because if this does backfire for whatever reason, you'll have to deal with it, which may prove awkward for you in the long run.

Here's an example:
A few nights ago I was at a friends house and a guy came over with a female friend. The girl was clearly attracted to me- she kept touching me when we were talking (I knew I should be touching her back, but like I said, I get confused about touching people) and complimenting my looks and stuff. I ended up driving her home, and before we left we were sitting in my car and talking. The conversation turned sexual, and I knew if I was going to kiss her it had to be then...but I didn't.

Also, I heard from a friend that when her male friend asked her if we hooked up, she said I said or did something to kill the mood. I have no idea if that's what actually happened or what I did wrong, but is it really possible to kill attraction by saying or doing one wrong thing? Or should I keep trying?

I notice you use alot of excuses. Go from failure conscious to success conscious and focus on how you can make it happen. What you should do is escalate, kissing is not a big deal.
As soon as possible start up by combing her hair with your hands, stand behind her and hold your arms in front of her belly, kiss her on the top of the head, kiss her on the forehead, kiss her on the check, kiss her on the lips and now retreat.
Say something like: "That is it for today, I do not want to spoil you".
Depending on the situation you will have to make a decision to escalate now or later, and go in. Kiss her cheek kiss her lips then retreat an inch or 2, and then look her in the eyes and let your lips touch hers again and then put your hand behind her head, put your other hand somewhere between her shoulder and ass and hold her as if she is the most precious thing you ever held, kind of like the way you hold a baby and tada, kiss-close.

or

You look for IOI's and when you notice 3 IOI's ask her: Would you like to kiss me?

If she replies: NO. Say: I didnt say you could, you just had that look in your eyes.
If she replies: Maybe, assume its on and kiss her.
If she replies: Yes, assume its on and kiss her.

Thanks for the replies. I definitely have to work on getting more physical. I'll try the "do you want to kiss me?" line next time.

One similar line that worked for me once in a club was "Are you a good kisser?". Only one way to find out .

excellent, that is a good way to kiss-close how did that go?

IMO , if she lets you play with her hair , kiss her on forehead and place your hands on her belly .
Than you build up enough comfort , and you don't need to ask her "do you want to kiss me?"

Here's a tip on kiss close with 0% failure so far for me, and I've been using it quite for some time now. When you feel like you should kiss her(and you will feel that with experience, trust me), lean in as if you would, when you kiss, but instead of doing so smell her neck. If she leans back or acts in a negative way, she's not ready for kiss yet. If she doesn't move or if she leans in, you can kiss her. Hell, she might even kiss you herself