Hello everyone,

First of all, let me thank you guys. This forum have been helping me having a better life over the last two years! Cheers!

Now, the serious stuff...

Like the tittle says, I am a 20 year old guy and I just don't feel like having sex anymore.

Say what????

Yes, that's right. You didn't misread.

I am a 20 year old guy and I just don't feel like having sex anymore.


Why?

I am not quite sure why. So many reason. I've had quite some bad experience while and after f-closing and now, it seems that I am not just that much into it.

Of course, I enjoy the physical pleasure that comes with it, but I just don't crave it anymore (My life used to be focusing around fucking girls).

STD (crabs), injury (torn frenulum twice), premature ejaculation (once, but still scares the shit out of me), pregnancy scare (almost became a daddy) and all the drama that comes with it. It looks like every time I have sex, it comes with a bunch of shit.

Lately, I calmed the fuck down, stopped going out, and I am now with a girl. Needless to say that I didn't fuck her yet (or else, I wouldn't be writing this). I can see that she is clearly getting upset and I am the one giving LMR. Don't get me wrong, she is super hot and I get excited easily when she sleeps at my place, but even if theres a part of me who wants to smash her hard, there's something holding me from doing so. I just don't feel like doing so anymore.
Every single time it gets hot, those bad experiences comes in my mind and the premature ejaculation come back to haunt me.

Anyways, I can see that my girl is wondering whats up with that and she's doing her best to get me to fuck her (sleeping without her bra, adopting sex position and rhythm when we make out), all those signs that normally tell me it's a go, but now I act like I don't see them.

So yeah, since the key to any healthy relationship is good communication, I decide to talk to her a bit about that. I was surprised to see that she was pretty sure there was something wrong with her. I didn't say much, just that I had bad experience in the past, almost became a daddy so now I take my time.

But hey, I know this need to change.

What do you guys think? Any advices or similar story?

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Dear Optimist, Pessimist & Realist,

Just to let you know that while you guys were arguing about the glass of water...... I drank it!

Sincerely, the Opportunist

Sex drive is low...
Testosterone level is low...

The fact that you are posting this, means that you want to change this.

First of all, stop watching porn.

read these.

http://vitals.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/ ... brain?lite

http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Watching-Po ... r-Computer


second of all, there are natural stimulants out there to increase your testosterone level. like Yohimbe. You can buy this easely on ebay.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yohimbine


Good luck

Yikes! It sounds like your brain has associated sex with negative experiences / emotions. That's not good. I actually recommend talking to your girlfriend about this so she knows what's going on. You're going to need a patient, encouraging partner to help you work through this. You need to kind of reboot your sexual experience and form new, positive mental associations. Start slow (i.e. low pressure) and ease back into it. Do everything you can to mitigate the stress that comes along with sex: use condoms or pull out even if she's on some form of birth control, focus a lot on foreplay and make your GF orgasm before even initiating sex, and take your time (start and stop as often as you want to). Does that all make sense? You may also want to masturbate and visualize ideal sexual experiences.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

hey man, sounds like what i am going through right now. like you i am twenty, and i am just over sex. i am not over the physical aspect of it i am just over the talking and drama that comes from it.

idk how it is for you but like i dont want physical sex anymore i want like a emotional sex like i want a girl that i care about and i am involved emotionally and mentally with.

but like P1nkstar says i think this could also come from low testosterone. i beat it too much lol.

idk.

good luck man. let me know what you do

I think that you are right on the spot, wolfwood. I was pretty much thinking the same, and this is why I told my girl that it had nothing to do with her, that I had some bad previous experience so I am not in a rush or anything. Hopefully, she'll understand.

That being said, I don't think that I am watching too much porn and sure that my testosterone level is not the problem. Going to the gym, training martial art, playing hockey and other stuff probably help with that and I get horny easily.

But hey, I still don't know what will happen with that. I guess I'll keep you guys updated! Thanks for the reply!

_________________
Dear Optimist, Pessimist & Realist,

Just to let you know that while you guys were arguing about the glass of water...... I drank it!

Sincerely, the Opportunist

It occurs to me that 3 out of the 4 problems you named can be prevented by using a rubber... get back out there soldier.

I never tried to fuck a girl without a rubber in my life. Thing is, they're not reliable at all. For example, I broke both 2 condoms with the "pregnancy scare" girl. And yes, I know how to put a rubber on.

_________________
Dear Optimist, Pessimist & Realist,

Just to let you know that while you guys were arguing about the glass of water...... I drank it!

Sincerely, the Opportunist

Since I said I was going to update you guys on this,

here it is:

I decided to overcome the anxiety and everything since I told myself things just couldn't stay like this for the rest of my life.

Fucked her, I came a bit too fast for what I wanted (maybe after 10-12 minutes of penetration) but she had time to orgasm so It's not much of a deal.

As for the moment, no injury... no STD scare, and... well, I can't tell yet, but no pregnancy scare. Things are better than expected.

_________________
Dear Optimist, Pessimist & Realist,

Just to let you know that while you guys were arguing about the glass of water...... I drank it!

Sincerely, the Opportunist

No two types of condoms are equal.

Some just plain SUCK. You gotta find one that's perfect for you and won't break on you. Type AND brand.

Low sex drive can be caused by other things rather than low testosterone.

In fact, in your age a mental state is more common to cause a low sex drive.

Don't rush into any conclusion.



Reading your update put things at ease as you are coping with your anxious and to me it seems like it's all in your head (easy to say, I know ).

Best of luck, and may the sex be wonderful again in every aspect.

Yours,
Oxy