As Chief has tried to explain a million and one times by now, this section of the forum is not for specific situation, it is for general issues that you have with your game. For specific situations where you keep finding yourself clueless and you keep making the same mistake. Is it your kiss close? Is it last minute resistance? What are the problems that you consistently run into? Basically do you have the same issue with different girls?

This is why I started this thread, I want you to share your most common issues so that we can help you deal with them and get more solid game.

I have talked to the rest of the mods and I also appreciate help from any other experienced members who want to share their knowledge.

So let's cut the chase, how can we help?

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Slywalker

10 things I wish someone taught me about Pick Up 10-things-i-wish-someone-taught-me-vt53087.html

Kiss closing for me, I think I always wait for the right moment, like I somehow think I'm in a movie and the music should come on and I should be like "oh shit this is the moment." I can do everything else, build comfort, attraction, kino escalation to the point where it's hands on her waist, lower back, on her thigh. Just going for a decent kiss close is my sticking point, I guess it's fear of rejection..

I just made a post about this, I hope it helps!

how-to-kiss-a-girl-without-rejection-vt136581.html

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Slywalker

10 things I wish someone taught me about Pick Up 10-things-i-wish-someone-taught-me-vt53087.html

Thanks Slywalker for starting this thread. I'd like to have some help with my sticking point: taking girls home directly from bars/clubs.

I'm doing ok with the usual number-close, day-2/day-3, followed by full close, when I play my cards right. I always journal, so when I screw up, I can analyze what I could have done differently and take steps to improve.

But when it comes to taking girls home directly from bars/clubs the same day I met her, I find that even when I have solid IOIs, I find it hard to go for a full close the same night. I think part of it is just panic, that she might have some STDs or something. Part of this is just plain inexperience. Part of this is just not being comfortable enough to do this, after having known her for such a short while.

So, what would be a good strategy, to move steadily through this sticking point? What is the type of mindset you have during such SNLs?

For example: Just a month back, I was trying to get past this sticking point with a girl I had just met, an HB9. I managed to bounce her, but then did not make more effort...and let her go with n-close. When I talked to her a few days later, I found out she's separated from her husband and has a kid. And that she really wants to see me again.

Now, although at the moment I had felt she's a really nice girl, after having heard she has a kid, I am unsure about whether I want to get involved with her any further. And experiences such as this probably works to reinforce my conditioning against SNLs, which is a sticking point I am trying to get past.

Thanks for helping out.

Showing interest and asking her out on a date. I have no problem building attraction and comfort, but I don't know how to make it clear that I am interested in her and ask her out. I end up waiting too long and her attraction eventually dies.

My most recent example of this is a coworker I really like right now...she gives me IOIs and I flirt with her, but I can't pull the trigger for some reason. She is showing less interest everyday...probably because she thinks I'm not interested in her.

What I noticed when I first learned about these situations is that it is all about making yourself available.
I am sure you have heard of the benefits of always carrying a condom, you are basically always ready for sex, and this gives you sort of a sense of security. When it comes to same night lays it is the same things. Most guys fail because of inhibitions such as STDs, location, consequences, their performance with a stranger etc.
The main step to become successful and have a lot of one night stands is to train yourself to remove all these inhibitions. This is why people have an easier time to bring a girl home when they are drunk and or on vacation, because they have less inhibitions in these situations.
Sit down one day and identify your inhibitions, think about what it would take for you to have no issues with bringing a girl home or following her somewhere. Now try to bring that feeling of confidence with you to the club/bar/party. The actual act of picking her up is the same as day game, just see it as an instant date. Basically, approach, build attraction, maybe make out for a bit, suggest an after party or some bullshit.
If you have no fear about taking girls home on the first night you will notice that it starts happening a lot more! But be aware, she may have the same fears that you once had, so you have to be ready to "help" her with them as well.

Hope this helps.

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Slywalker

10 things I wish someone taught me about Pick Up 10-things-i-wish-someone-taught-me-vt53087.html

This was my biggest thing as an AFC, interesting that you brought it up.
I looked ok, and I was outgoing, so it was easy for me to meet girls, and they had enough interest in me where I could have done something about it.
After that, I became a pussy and waited too long, and eventually I always ruined it by talking too much while hoping that she would take initiative.

I can tell you a funny story that might help. I had been flirting a bit with a really cute girl in my local super market, and one day I saw her on the floor stocking some shelf with groceries, and I realized that this is my big chance since it so much harder to pick her up when she is the cashier.

So I approached with a big and complicated routine, and I completely fucked it up. So in the end I said, "screw this, just give me your phone number".

It worked, I took her home on our very first date, she was really impressed that I just took a bold initiative.

And what I learned from this is that you have the best chance with a girl if you show off as a bold guy who is willing to take charge. I experimented a lot with this, I basically approached girls in a mild manner and the just took over with lines such as, we should go out next week, or let's grab a drink tonight. Don't ever ask, tell!

Of course I met a lot of feisty girls that took a little more than this, but in general this is how I became really successful. It takes guys but it pays off!

Try it out and let me know how it goes!

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Slywalker

10 things I wish someone taught me about Pick Up 10-things-i-wish-someone-taught-me-vt53087.html

I feel like being bold will get me results also and I will get myself to do it more often, but in my particular case with the coworker, If I directly ask her out and she says no, it would create a very awkward situation and I wouldn't be able to save face. I can deal with rejection from random people at bars, but if my coworker rejected me, that would be embarrassing and awkward. Also, there are few customers I flirt with, but these girls all know my coworkers one way or another, so again being bold might backfire since word would most definitely spread...any thoughts on this matter?

PS - on a separate, but related topic...can you talk a little about timing? I feel like ALL girls' attraction dies out drastically after the initial "window of opportunity." Why is this? Is it because they think you aren't interested or they get bored that easily? I think I get attraction and think to myself I don't have enough comfort to ask her out yet...let's not rush this and blow it...let her feel more comfortable around me so there is no doubt when I pull the trigger. But it gets tricky because girls will be all flirty with me and literally a day after they will be cold and uninterested...are girls really that fickle or are they gaming you?

Sorry I'm rambling...The most frustrating part for me is finding a balance. When I show interest, they back off and become cold and distant. Then when I back off, they fight for my attention...I don't get it!

Thanks Slywalker for your insight on this. I found it helpful, because of the following:

1. I need to simply change my mindset, and look at a ONS as an instant day2. Since I usually do ok with the day 2s, this way of framing it is helpful.

2. Need to focus outward (making sure the girl is comfortable) rather than inward (over-analyzing whether I should do this).

I have already gone through the self-analysis part and identifying the issues that you mentioned about, as mentioned in my previous post. As advised, I will reflect upon them further as to what I would need to do in order to make those issues disappear, then go from there and carry the confidence with me when I'm out. NLP trick?

Appreciate the help. Have a great weekend.

Hello, so this is my sticking point, with new girls I'm just BAM and I am in, getting physical, don't care, gold comes out of my mouth, my frame is strong, flirts .... but with girls that i know, I'm confident but fear to touch or get physical; e.g. girls in school, i care too much, i don't know how to care less. Also i like a girl and i fear she will not like me, i act so needy, i need some help.

Posted this one over here.

here-vp657552.html#657552

Would appreciate any insights.

I got this one!

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Slywalker

10 things I wish someone taught me about Pick Up 10-things-i-wish-someone-taught-me-vt53087.html

[quote="Mike1"]Thanks Slywalker for your insight on this. I found it helpful, because of the following:

1. I need to simply change my mindset, and look at a ONS as an instant day2. Since I usually do ok with the day 2s, this way of framing it is helpful.

2. Need to focus outward (making sure the girl is comfortable) rather than inward (over-analyzing whether I should do this).

I have already gone through the self-analysis part and identifying the issues that you mentioned about, as mentioned in my previous post. As advised, I will reflect upon them further as to what I would need to do in order to make those issues disappear, then go from there and carry the confidence with me when I'm out. NLP trick?

Appreciate the help. Have a great weekend.

There are tons of NLP tricks you can use to increase your confidence and self esteem, there are also techniques that help you transfer your energy from one situation to another.
It would take me way to long to explain how, but I suggest that you take your time and read a good book about it.
I personally recommend Steve Andreas - NLP the new technology of achievement since it is sort of a summary of the best of NLP and contains a ton of useful techniques. Best ten dollars you can spend in my opinion!

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Slywalker

10 things I wish someone taught me about Pick Up 10-things-i-wish-someone-taught-me-vt53087.html

So in a situation where you have to be smooth, such as a with a coworker, you don't have to ask her out directly. I have listed tons of tips in my thread "10 things.." linked below on how to be smooth.
I also wrote this post once, you should check it out

the-nlp-comfort-zone-the-basis-of-all-m ... highlight=

Basically what you want to do is get her really interested in talking to you, if you do that right you can ask anything that is innocent. Such as "hey me and some friends are going rock climbing this weekend, you should tag along". Doesn't matter what you say as long as it doesn't come off as a date, you can't be rejected!

In terms of your timing, I would use the same technique, you just have to get her talking, once she is talking about herself and can't seem to stop, interrupt her in a nice but yet dominant manner and say, "hey I would love to continue this conversation but I have to bounce, why don't we (whatever you want to do with her). Worked every time for me.

The trick to this is to get her really excited to talk about herself, or whatever topic she loves talking about, when you take it away from her she will want more, and this is how you get her!

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Slywalker

10 things I wish someone taught me about Pick Up 10-things-i-wish-someone-taught-me-vt53087.html

In the case of girls you already know, you're too attached to the potential negative outcomes.

Imagine what the worst possible outcomes could be, and make peace with it. Know that, no matter what happens, you'll make things alright for yourself in the end. Then imagine what the best possible outcomes could be and let yourself become motivated to take action just like you do with those new girls that you meet.