Is she interested, or just really flirtatious?



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A Sticking Point or SP is an issue you CONSISTENTLY run into.

It is NOT a point where you get stuck with ONE SPECIFIC GIRL.

A Sticking Point is:
Quote:
I keep getting LMR whenever I bring girls back to my place. This has happened at least 10 times already! What am I doing wrong?
A Sticking Point is NOT:
Quote:
I got LMR with this one girl! What do I do?
IT IS AGAINST THIS BOARD'S RULES TO POST THREADS ABOUT JUST ONE GIRL
If you have not already gone out and practiced enough to have a real Sticking Point from meeting an ABUNDANCE of women, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO POST HERE.



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 5:10 am 
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I don't know if this girl is genuinely interested in me, or if she is just highly flirtatious. Also, I really need help knowing how to move things on past the comfort stage into something a little more romantic, and I feel I'm at the critical stage before entering the dreaded 'friend-zone'. Shes definately an HB8 or more, and judging from her Facebook I can tell a lot of guys probably hit on her all the time.

We have a mutual friend hence that broke the original ice, and she one day came up to me outside of class (I'm in college) and started sitting with talking to me. Conversation was dry, and I ended up leaving her abruptly - however I felt bad so I decided to IM her (we've had each other's IM for years through out mutual friend, but never really talked) and I was only going to apologise for leaving her, but we ended up having some fun conversation. She added me on Facebook and we continued the fun there, lots of joking back and forth.

Things progress a few days later when we start talking more regularly, and at this point I am throwing fun little negs at her and she is throwing them back at me. She says something about the next day how she might get bored between classes so she'll come and find me where we usually run into each other - which she does. She finds me, we hang out. I throw lots of negs at her, but she catches them all and throws a whole lot more back to me!! Later, we sit somewhere and have coffee, and she tells me a bit about her life, I tell her a bit about myself...a few funny little stories. I know a lot of guys hit on her, so I neg her quite a bit and play it off as if she is definitely privileged to hang out with me, but I do this in a jokingly funny kinda way (hard to explain). We end up spending about 3 hours together that day..which is a lot, so I decide to say goodbye and head home. I originally plan to ask for her number, but her phone is broken...

As soon as I get home she IMs me and we are back to making fun of each other, sharing more, talking more. She makes several flirty suggestive comments but at this point I am starting to get the feeling she is just highly flirtatious. Over the course of that week we run into each other two other times, which are full of flirting and negging back and forth, she sure has a lot of jokes to make about me, and accuses me of a stalker for running into her so much - I call her a stalker back, and she turns this around saying "yes I am, I'm totally stalking you babe". This kind of joking back and forth continues the week. We make lots of jokes, but there is little kino at all, and things don't seem to escalate. Something interesting however is that another friend (who is a girl) of mine calls to hang out with me while I am with the HB, and all three of us hang, although the HB is largely quiet and I end up ignoring her to talk to my friend. When my friend leaves, the HB asks lots of questions about if I am dating her, if I like her, about how my friend is pretty and she wonders why I'm not with her?

Later in that week we actually spent a lot of time together while we were working on our essays and other things which I could tell you about but it would take up too much time, but essentially we only joke back and forth (LOTS of jokes!) but no escalation.

The next week we talk still but things are much the same - just flirting back and forth. She says she will find me at the end of the week which she does, and we are back in the labs working on our essays. We both admit we don't get much work done as we spend too much time joking with each other. I start leaning into her, play some kino with her hands, play with her hair, which she totally comfortable with, lots of goofy smiles, lots of joking back and forth. She playfully throws things at me, messes up my hair, etc. A few times she slips about how she was talking to me to her sister and also her bestfriend, but about trivial things. At that point I am looking at some Facebook events page and she asks me "soo which one of these do you want to take me to?" I suggest a concert event however it is quite pricey, to which she says no based on the fact she can't afford the event. I make the mistake of coming off needy, telling her noone else would go because they don't like the kinda music I like, and she says she would have if it was more affordable. I feel slightly rejected by this and we are quiet for a while, but I decide to turn it back up by negging her some more.

She gets a call from a guy that night who seems to ask her out, which she agrees to. All of this is right in front of me. I feel kinda dissed at this point, especially after being rejected for the concert, so I am a bit quiet, but I play off a bit more conversation with her before finally going home. That night I decide to tell her that I am going to be heading into the city (we live 30 minutes from the central city), and I suggest to her coming to join me and my friends if shes interested, since I know she will also be downtown during the day. She asks for my number and I give it to her. She then gives me hers and tells me to call her the next day if I'm downtown. Also I notice from her being online on her IM and Facebook, that she doesn't end up going out afterall.

I don't know if I'm going to call her or not. But what would you suggest my next move be? I think as I've written that she has demonstrated that there is some interest there, but at the same time she might just be highly flirtatious which she is used to doing with all the guys hitting on her often. As we speak, she is negging me on my Facebook I can see, but I don't know how to read this.

What can I do to try to take things to the next level? What should my next step be?


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 8:21 pm 
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was this post just way too long? should I have focuses on one specific problem?


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 8:35 am 
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does it matter if she is into you? she is talking to you and you get to decide if she likes you or not. You're in control man, remember that...


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 10:43 am 
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Remember while joking is good, you decide on how far it goes, maybe your just a little stuck on how to escalate.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 11:54 am 
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agree with the above posters

Just would like to add that flirting is always a sign of interrest. Just continue your game, u can try some "push and pull", Besides creating attracktion it could also give u an impression on how interested she is.

keruli


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 1:31 am 
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thanks for the replies, was what i needed to hear.

as for continuing the push/pull...i feel like thats the problem - i can't read her signals well. she sure plays a long with my games, but then i can't keep doing that forever, right? i think my problem is escalation..

i'm thinking next time i should play up the kino a lot and see if that helps escalate things. right now we aren't talking as much as we did last week (no particular reason), but i'm waiting for her to make a move instead of me contacting her first, let her show some interest that i would reward with me playing back with her.

if she doesn't contact me, i guess i should just move on and continue gaming others as usual, right? just that this particular one bothers me since shes so stubborn..as if shes gaming me right back...


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