Oh hey there!

I’m sitting on a cushion, wearing what is quite possibly the most comfortable sweater on the planet, sipping some incredible jasmine pearl green tea. Nearby, I’ve got my statue of Krishna chilling out, some incense burning and some relaxing reggae playing.

Long story short, it’s a damn good day.

I wanted to share something very special with you today.

I mean… Read the title of this piece. How on earth can I promise something THAT big?

Breathe, I most probably can’t.

But I can definitely turn your attention towards a couple tips that might help make you a little more solid, and in that, I promise I will do my best.

Right, let’s get started.

Relax
It all starts there. Seriously.

Every time I take a new client, I have to spend like 3 weeks rewiring their breathing.

Here’s a science project for you: For the next 5 days, I want you to notice a few things. First, pay attention to yourself. Look at the way you place your body. Are you relaxed, in a dignified position, or are you nervous, anxious and slouching? Go deeper and look at your breathing, just place your attention there. Follow the breathing. How deep does it go? Is it shallow, restricted in your chest, around your heart? Or does it flow deeply, down to your crotch then back up, while your belly expands powerfully outward?

Second half of this experiment is to notice others. Go to a networking event, bar, nightclub, park or anywhere people converge in large groups. Don’t interact with anyone for now, just be the observer. Look at people’s bodies and try to see how deeply they are breathing. Try to ascertain how relaxed they are or arent. Notice how many are top-heavy. How, if you pay just enough attention, you can actually notice how their heart-space is clamped down, leading to rigid shoulders, shallow breathing and just a general nervousness. In fact, if you are really attentive, you can even notice how the words coming out of their mouths are not the words they really want to say – they stifle themselves essentially.

The point of this exercise isn’t too look down at others by the way, quite the opposite. The point is to feel empathy – to notice the pain, hurt, insecurities and fears that almost everyone carries with them at all times.

Once you’re conscious of that, we can move deeper now.

Relinquish control
This is the part most people have trouble with.

You see, for me anyway, winning at life isn’t about getting everything right, every single time.

I’m not going to tell you that every single woman I’ve ever desired I’ve ended up with. I’m not going to tell you that I magically landed on a pile of money, or that I simply pressed a button and my business sprang up around me. I’m not going to tell you that every friend I’ve ever met has been a deep and amazing person that has never betrayed or hurt me in any way.

Look the truth is, I’ve had my heart broken many many times. I’ve been embarrassed, humiliated, laughed at, broken, bruised, depressed, sad, cast down, blamed, hated and a whole variety of other things. I have stories that will make you cringe and cry.

I also have been loved, I’ve been cherished, celebrated, praised, enjoyed and appreciated. I grind for hours almost every day because I believe in what I do.

My point is that things will go really well, and then really wrong, and then really well again, and then before you know it, really wrong again. That’s just how life is. And you know what? That’s okay – life would be boring otherwise.

Winning at life isn’t about swimming against the current desperately trying to build a damn – you’re just going to burn yourself out and the river will keep flowing anyway.

Winning at life is about finding your own peace and staying there no matter what happens to you.

Love
Bet you’re tired of hearing me talk about this eh? But seriously, if you can find the way to feel so completely engrossed with a sense of love – I’m talking about such a profound love for life that it literally emanates from your pores, then I have absolutely nothing left to teach you. That sense of peace will basically ensure that you can handle whatever life throws at you, and you wouldn’t need me or anyone anymore because you’re there! Where else could you be?

I remember when I used to live in Amsterdam, I was coaching a client and when we were finished for the day we decided to go out to my favourite nightclub there. I’ve never seen a more intimidating environment – stunning model-type blondes, tall good looking rich men in suits.

That night, I took the ego beating of the century. Literally every woman I spoke to brushed me off but in such an over, humiliating way. It was beautiful!

Anyway the next day, I called my client and invited him out for round two and he was just shocked. “If that had happened to me, I would literally never leave my bed again”.

Life is going to fuck with you. Women are going to fuck with you (but that’s cause they love you). And when you are attached to an outcome – when you cling to your identity, to an image of yourself, to a gain, then you’re a weak man.

Shake it off and live in love – it’s the greatest strength on earth.

What is your strength?
Here’s something I’m going to share with you that you probably aren’t going to like. To my female readers, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Men: one of the greatest pleasures a woman will ever feel is to know that she can literally do anything and you will not flinch.

Women are a microcosm of the world. They want to feel that you are unshakable, unbendable, unflinching and alive for the simple reason that if you will bend over and flinch at anything, how on earth are you supposed to deal with life? How are you supposed to protect those you love? How will you stand up for what you believe in? How will you build a better future for your children someday?

Gentlemen, this is not something that can be faked. You can put on a mask, put on a show, put on your suit of armour, but the moment there is a slight crack, the jig is up. You’ve been revealed to be the scared little boy you’ve always been.

The only way to ‘win’ at life so to speak is to learn to live in love. To feel an overwhelming, pulsating sense of aliveness, purpose, drive and appreciation. I’m talking about a profound and intimidate relationship between the universe as a whole and yourself.

Can you feel that aliveness in your veins? Breathe deep and feel yourself alive as love. Ultimately, we’re all going to die, but to win at life is to go out with a wink and smile.

“If you don’t realize the source, you stumble in confusion and sorrow. When you realize where you come from, you naturally become tolerant, disinterested, amused, kindhearted as a grandmother, dignified as a king. Immersed in the wonder of the Tao, you deal with whatever life brings you, and when death comes, you are ready” – Tao Te Ching

Your fan,
Pat Ananda

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