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Hey, I've been chatting to this girl i met on facebook for at least 8 months now!!!
How long had you been chatting before you asked for a date?
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We exchanged phone numbers a few days after i added her but every time i suggest meeting up, she always said no, i'm busy.
At which point you should say "Ok, get in touch when you've sorted your schedule cause I'd love to see you (and you mean it, you don't get in touch until she does.)
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I must have asked her out about 50 times now and tried everything from trying to plan things in advance to suggesting something last minute.
See what I said above? You've just proven that it's the best way to handle it. You've asked 50 times, and it's the same result. You're communicating that you've got NOTHING to do, other than hound her. How is this going to show her that you're attractive? You're massively invested in a girl that you've never even had a single date with, and don't really know. You've scared her off.
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She told me to stop asking her out as its becoming annoying now.
Not everything that women say is some kind of hidden message. This means exactly what it says. If anything, this is actually the nice version.
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I got my friend to add her a few months back and when he suggested meeting up, she suddenly became available. In fact, i met her twice in person before with him but only when he arranges it. My friend has no interest in her but now she keeps asking me about him and its upsetting me.
She is attracted to your friend, and not you. I know this isn't great to hear, and we've all had it at one point or another, which is why the majority of us are here... but it's the truth. You're in the friendzone. You're her male girl friend.
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She asked me if i have any single friends!! In the beginning, she would call me on the phone but now its 100% always me calling me messaging her.
See above
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I'm now thinking that my next move is to tell her that i like her and we have to stop being phone friends as its hurting me. You have my number so if you change your mind, let me know.
YES! Do this! The strongest negotiating position is to be able to walk away and mean it. The only change there is to not say "it's hurting me" but instead say "I think you're great and I want more than to be your text buddy. I think we could be on to something. Get in touch if you change your mind."
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Also, i'm thinking of joining the same gym she goes too so i can see her in person more (i will play it cool though)
Oh for fucks sake. So what you just said was bullshit? You're going to walk away and mean it... but you're going to join her gym because you're too much of a weak bitch to walk away, so you'd rather just invest more and more and get your heart broken over and over again until she gets a restraining order on you? There's no such thing as playing it cool whilst stalking a girl. Leave her alone! I think my signature has a thread for new guys... there's also a sticky thread by me in the relationships section called "to the guys who want their ex back!" that you should read. I know she isn't your ex, but the principles still apply. Work on your game for YOU and OTHER girls. Don't come here looking for a magic line to get this girl back - you never had her, and it'd take a pretty big miracle to get a chance now. It's a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. You've made your feelings clear 50 times.
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Is this a dead duck situation or is there any way out of this?
Again, walk away and mean it. Either she changes her mind and reaches out, or you've got plenty of other options because you've been trying so hard to work on yourself and it's paying off (which it will, I promise you.)
I used to be the guy who spent every single day on MSN messenger begging his ex to come back, giving her bad advice on purpose about new boyfriends hoping to sabotage their relationship and get her back to me... I can tell you, the path you're going down is a painful one. I wish I knew then what I know now lol. I seriously hope you apply yourself to this stuff and don't just pick the little tiny bits that you want to hear and keep chasing this girl. It's oneitis, look it up.
Finally, do join a gym, just not her one. Don't purposely put yourself at places where you know she'll be. Women do this, and they're a lot smarter than men when it comes to reading little things like this. I promise you it will backfire.
TL;DR walk away and focus on yourself, to get other girls and get over this girl. It's ONLY oneitis.