Well son of a bitch. I can't remember where I saw it, but I remember watching a bunch of guys use that opener. Might have been that Vh1 show. Probably not the best example of the opener, but let me see if I can explain what I'm talking about.
Conversations are a lot like research papers. The difference is that the paper has a defined author and audience, where in a conversation the author and the audience are one in the same. But the same concepts of formatting apply. Let's say I'm writing a paper on laptop computers.
...One of the great advantages of the laptop computer is that it's extremely portable. The portable power supply and wireless network connectivity give the format a flexibility around the office that is unparalleled in traditional computing devices. Desktops are way better for gaming btw. But notebooks are far becoming the standard in an ever increasingly digital workplace...
Now that was something I just kinda whipped up on the spot. Notice how the second sentence expands on the first and continues the thought, but the third kinda comes out of left field and the reader gets stuck asking the question, "where did the topic of gaming come from?".
That's kind of how the "who lies more opener" can come off if you just use the bare bones opener. It can work, there is a logic to it, but it comes across as awkward. You want smooth.
So here's how you do it. You've gotta setup the conversation where you want it to go. Like a chess player thinking 3 moves ahead. You steer the conversation into topics you're knowledgeable/comfortable with. So what some people have done w/ the opener is before the set has a chance to respond to the second question you drop in a real dhv story to set it up. It's a technique.f
I don't like to think in phases, phases have clearly defined boundaries and different rule sets associated with them. I prefer to frame it as a flow. So instead of opener *break* transition *break* dhv *break* etc... It's opener/transition/dhv/etc. Move forward and backward w/ the standard model. Play w/ it, experiment, HAVE FUN. Figure out what works for you. If you try to script out the whole thing even just block it out, it's not going to be you, you're going to be uncomfortable, and she's going to pick up on it. It's a conversation, information goes both ways. use what she gives you to continue.
As far as what SPECIFICALLY to talk about, who cares. Go w/ whatever interests you. There's gotta be something you've wanted a female perspective on. Check the news, there's always something weird, bizarre, or controversial you can discuss. It doesn't really matter what it is, just make sure you're both engaged in the conversation and go from there.
There's so many variables when it comes to women, cultures languages, locations, etc. you kinda have to approach pick up like pirate. To quote The Pirates of the Caribbean "the code is more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules." Now go plunder some booty.
CHAT
