I met this girl and grabbed her from Tinder. We met up and got on like a house on fire. Everything great. I'm gonna go in depth on this one.
We went to a hilarious comedy club, we are on the same page with so much stuff like having a life, Malbec preference, our backgrounds. She is intelligent and so am I. She responds well to negs and banter. We drove back to my place where she played on my piano (no metaphor here) and I played as I'm good. Her back hurts from having a slipped disc, I have Her an actual massage as I work as a physio. We then also had sex and she stayed. She complimented me a lot too. She even said I have nice balls! Haha. Funny but still and the next morning I drove her home as she is at college and 23. I'm 26. Before she got out the car she kept kissing me more and not getting out. She doesn't know me too well.

Two weeks ago this happened. Since the she has cancelled on me twice and whilst she is in the last year of her course, she says she is busy. She want active on tinder since then either at all. She adds me on Facebook and she has only 180 friends (not a big deal but who the hell only knows 180 people?). She sends me a message on SPAM saying she can't meet for a while as she has deadlines.

I didn't sleep with this girl in view of a one night thing. I want to date this girl. Should I tell her this? I feel like communicating that to her but I don't get it. She was on it 100% and receptive. She works too and everything she has said about her life checks out. Normally this would signal no interest but she replies to messages a day later as do I... What do I do? She was sober also to mention as was I.

When I ask her to meet up since then I haven't been chatting over text like a lot of people do. Do you think she would see this as suspicious? I'm trying to be a little mysterious and only wanting to really talk to her in person. Should I be building more rapport over text?

So I'm clear - out of the blue, you think you should tell her you want a relationship after a one night stand and nothing further?

I would love to tell you to do this, just so you'll learn a lesson... And you're probably going to do it anyway, based on your past posts on this forum... But no, you absolutely should not do this.

Charles. Thanks. How you doing?

I told that girl we spoke about that I didn't want to see her anymore. She had no qualities that were what I'm after.
I'm not asking should I tell her I want her. Just that her lack of desire to make plans is odd after what she said and did when we did meet. She DOES have what I look for. I've been having a couple dates a week for the last month and a bit going into town 3 nights.
How would you respond to this?

"I cant meet for a little while now because all my deadlines are coming up. I'm working flat out"
On her Facebook there's no sign of a relationship but she could be seeing someone. I didn't ask her if she is or if she is single either.

I read this on joshsway

"When a guy is used for sex, it’s usually because they are good looking and overly dependent on their looks. Don’t fall into that trap if you want a relationship or relationship potential. Make sure you demonstrate your other attractive qualities and don’t be afraid to appear a little more interested than is generally recommended if you’ve found sex comes easy but relationships do not."


Would anyone agree with this?

Glad to hear about the other girl.

For this one: you're just simply not going to be doing yourself any favors by conveying what you're suggesting.

She's already either very busy or making excuses why she doesn't want to see you... In either case, you dropping that line isn't going to get you the response you're after... And it'll probably seal the deal in terms of never hearing from her again, IMO.

What's the best way to ask to see again in this circumstance so close this off? Best course of action? And yes I am dating other women.

Does anyone think I should be having text conversations with women and building more attraction that way?

I'm really thinking you haven't thought this through:

Look at her behavior: She's busy (and whether that's true or not, that's the story you're getting).

Does it do you any good to say "you're a liar!" (in so many words)? Absolutely not.

Does it do you any good to say "I want a relationship, not a one night stand"? Absolutely not.

Does it do you any good to say "I hope you didn't just think I was using you for sex" or something like that? Absolutely not. (you're already conveying you want to see her again with the repeated date requests).

If you're seeing other women, like you say you are... just FOCUS ON THEM. Let this one get un-busy (or go do whatever she wants to do)... and you look after you. She'll either come around or she won't - but no amount of probing and asking silly questions just to get her to respond to you is going to sway things in your favor.

Realistically....It seems you were just a Tinder lay!

She got it out of her system, and she has probably moved on. It sucks to hear, but it happens to most guys at some stage.

We confuse over eagnerness with different emotions, such as release, and excitment for the situation, not necessarily you. This is one of the downsides of dating apps like Tinder, if you want more than a one night stand of course.

Any eagerness you show at this point will only serve to push her away further for good. My advice is to cut all contact and wait for her to contact you(if that will happen)

The ONE saving grace that may come from backing off (if you havent freaked her out already) is that, she doesnt hear from you in a while, starts to get horny, knows you are chill about it...so she contacts you for sex.

But, that does not sound like what you want.

Bite the bullet, enjoy the brief encounter you guys had....and for the love of god delete Tinder and go talk to real girls outside the confines of your phone screen.

Tinder is the lazy and fearful mans sexual junk food. Its designed for our fearful generation who do everything in their power to not show the fuck up and take their own responsibility.

Good luck mate,
Chris

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