Hi there,

To start with, there are many areas that I have problem with in picking up women. I'm not good at all in that. I have serious approach anxiety and escalating is hard. I'm still surprised when a woman is showing IOIs, and usually react to those by looking away.

I'm shy, introverted, socially clumsy and often not so interested in social interactions - too often I find conversations with people just boring. I can be the centre of attention if there's a need for it (if I have something to say and it's needed for the situation) and gladly engage in interesting conversations. Usually I don't like me/other people behaving like they crave for attention/acting alpha (usually I find them boring attention whores without too much to say - and it's not _just_ jealousy ).

Then again, while I might sound like it, I'm no grumpy misanthropist. I do enjoy company and friends and having a good time and women like everybody, but I'm just... boring. I can't make social interactions interesting unless I've really have something to add there. This is usual in all my social interactions, with men and women, in work and night life, but I've no problem with it in social life outside dating. I join in the things I'm interested, keep out of boring stuff and I'm happy with it.

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Cut to the chase: Despite my problems I can meet with women beautiful and smart. Not so many and not so hot women as I'd like, but this is not hopeless and I can improve. I can get a number. I can get a date. I can be "nice" and not an idiot during the date. But that's it. The biggest problem is the mid-game. Building comfort/attraction/rapport is awkward and clumsy. Showing value is hard. Rapport building is minimal. I'm not desirable unless she for some reason finds me desirable by some other things, like because of her friend who has "praised" me before. I'm not really in the lead and making things happen. There's no escalation. I might get another date, I might fuck-close, but if that happens, it is because she'd have done it with any AFC.

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Perhaps a too wide problem, definitely a too long rambling. I could've just told I suck at the mid-game without the background reportage. I did it because I'd really like to hear the experience of other people like me - if that sounds familiar and you've overcome your problems, how you've done it? Of course I'd be happy to hear feedback and suggestions to improve myself from all kinds of people, naturals, chumps and ex-chumps!

How'd you suggest I should improve my mid-game? Or is the problem even mid-game or is it something completely else? I do understand that I need to improve all aspects of my game but like I said, the mid-game escalation has been the biggest problem so far.

Not all hope is lost Buck-O.

I would refer to your style as aloof; The state of being emotionally distanced. May be seen as laid back or cold and arrogant, depending on the onlooker; describes someone who doesn't give a fuck. Can be incredibly slick, laid back, but totally bad ass.

Capitalize on that shit. Women are drawn to it like a moth to a flame, that's why you get those sideways IOI's.

You'll likely attract the nice girl that is hoping that the hard man has that layer of good underneath, she can bring out.
(Fix you, so to speak.)

It's a good, natural style that cannot be faked.


Also perfect for fucking train-wrecks. This is the girl who will admit to having done some stupid shit, but it's totally in the past. Easy, but often clingy.

All you need is some inner-self confidence to get the ball rolling.

Start at the gym, there is no better confidence builder.

You likely won't have to approach that much, just catch that eye contact, look her up and down, while thinking about what you would do with her alone.

Don't be to shocked when she slithers over to engage YOU!

Be of few words, but make those count.

P.S. give this a read.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/202670438/Kin ... rlo#scribd

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Thanks!

More self-confidence with gym and books concentrated on escalation are good tips. But what you said about being aloof sounded the most interesting. No one that knew me wouldn't describe me as a "hard man with a hopefully good layer hidden", more likely a wuss, but that aloof direction might work better for me than the "hey, look at me" style.

I haven't thought of being MORE quiet, but that could actually work better with me. Then again, this works when seeing someone for the first time. Approach isn't my biggest problem. Just checking someone up and down during the mid-game isn't going to carry me very far. But I really appreciate your advice! More skills on escalation and mid-game without trying to be the centre of attention of the room...