| Hi all,
The big problem I keep having in my interactions with girls, is that even when things are going really well/progressing nicely, as soon as the girl says something to make a bit of token resistance a sub-conscious switch goes off in my head and before I realise the implications of what I'm doing I find myself automatically accepting what they say at face value and back-off the pursuit.
For example, I was recently on a 2nd date with a girl and we ended up going to a club, where we were french kissing a lot, biting lips, dirty dancing etc., and when the club started getting a bit slow I said we should leave. As we were heading to the subway she said "I'm feeling a bit tired, maybe I should go home" and I logically accepted it and let her. I now appreciate (also from my later interactions with her) that despite what she said she did want to go home with me, and just wanted me to say a bit to encourage her. I had another experience with a girl last night where we were flirting, bumping and grinding for a good while, and I had a raging boner haha, then I led her by the hand outside to "smoke" but when we were just about to kiss she said "wasn't there something you wanted to ask me?", and it snapped me out of the moment and I ended up in a boring, logical conversation with her - one thing led to another and I lost her and later saw her kissing someone else (who I don't think she had been talking to before me).
It is getting really frustrating, particularly because in most aspects of my life I am determined and independent-minded (used to be on a debating team, am a strong soccer player etc.), and I never have any problem disagreeing with girls I am going out with about restaurant choices, politics, or culture etc., but when I should assert myself in sexual situations I am too easy to influence and be thrown off. Please help - can my sub-conscious instincts and years of habit be changed?
|
CHAT