| when I read The Game, I laughed at the thought of failing to completely lose my virginity at the first chance that shows up, like Extramask...
... and then, this happened to me 2 weekends ago:
(it's a bit long, I like writing and detailing unnecessary things, but bare with me)
So I (20 yo, ?1/2 virgin?) met this 7.5 at a friend's house party 3 weeks ago; I played Game on her, take her number, we get into C1 the same night, on the bed, no KC, but good chemistry; she rings me up the next evening, we go to a bar, a bit more Game, and bam, KC!
she lives in a town 100km away, so we only text during the week; she invites me over, I get there Friday night, and things are looking good... we make out, we talk, make out some more, lay on the bed ("finally gonna do it, gonna lose my V-card" - I should mention that she thinks I'm not a virgin, and also, I know she only had one boyfriend before me; Anyway ...)
Her limit was fingering, and once I got in that area, I bumped into her LMR: "No, I don't want to do this, I want to wait a bit more before doing it"; following your wise advice, I said that I understand, and I even agree with her, but I don't want to cuddle instead, that a girl saying 'no' turns me off and that I can't go just halfway, it's frustrating and I'll do something else; I blew the 3 candles I had lit, turned on a little light at the side of the bed, turned on her laptop and started checking my emails; I got a random funny video on youtube, put the laptop on a chair and got next to her; few minutes later, she got up, to "take something from the desk", light up the candles and turned off the light, "searched something else" on youtube, put on a playlist with slow songs, pushed me on the bed and took off her bra... we started kissing, touching, and pretty soon, the action went in the lower area of her body; I tried to give her oral stimulation, but she told me she's too turned on, and she wants me inside ...
me, being stiff for like 2 days straight, getting hard each time I kissed her or lightly touched her, was ecstatic, grabbed a condom, put it on, looked at my prize, leaned over her, and tried to guide my way inside with my hand, without looking ... next thing I know, I feel something's not right, I keep trying, and soon enough, it was gone ...
words can't express the feelings ... anger, hate, frustration, lust, and a whole lot of confusion ...
I landed on the bed beside her, frozen, unable to explain to her what happened ...
(details skipped)
(45 minutes later) we try again, same result, I go to sleep, she puts her hand around me in something that felt like pitty ...
next morning, same thing; next evening, same thing, like 3 times ... morning after that, I left to the train station before she woke up ...
(details skipped)
a few things are worth mentioning:
-second evening I actually got it IN, for a few seconds, but then lost it when trying to change position;
-we've kept talking, maybe even more than before, and I'm going back to her place this weekend
-the only position she wanted to do it in was missionary, that I don't especially love
-only once, we tried another position, cowgirl, and that was the only time I got it in for like 20 seconds or so, but got out frequently because she moved too much
-my "friend" is around 15cm, when "awake" ... I felt a pinch of pitty in her voice when she told me her first bf was "a little bit bigger" (after having asked her about it, having picked up on some weird sh*t from her body language), and I also think this is the reason why I couldn't keep it in when she was on top
-I was very nervous the first time, and EVERY time after that, my mental state only got WORSE and WORSE: I couldn't stop thinking about how it would be if I couldn't get it up and fack this girl before the end of the weekend; "would she laugh about it? would I have another chance? was her bf a black guy? am I retarded? should I see a doctor? ... oh sh*t, here it goes again! fack this sh*t, I quit!"
can't think about anything else worth mentioning right now, I'm gonna edit my post later if I remember any more details...
I would appreciate some feedback, ideas, anything that could help me get over this ...
oh, in the meantime, I read articles and visited forums, and found out that ED was normal, under stress and all, and that it's ... possible to happen sometimes... but still ...
Thanks in advance, guys, have a great night!
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