And no idea why. It's happened to me 3 times in a row now, all after a first meeting or date. I'm starting to think maybe i'm too nice in person?

Here's an example of the latest one where I texted her the next day. The first text is refrencing the fact she tears up when it's extremely cold:

Me:Morning madame! You must be balling your eyes out today from the cold

Her:Ya lol always. Look if you want to hang out as friends or go to another munch that's cool but I don't want to date you. Please don't take this as mean I am not trying to be hurtful I just want to be clear

Me:Woah what do you have in mind for me here missy, who said my intent was dating haha. Flattered it did cross your mind though

Her:You kissed me and asked me to go out to a restaurant

Me:You're right I did. You brought up not going out often and wanting to try different restaurants haha

Her:U kids your friends?

Me:On the cheek is pretty harmless

Her:Lol ok

Also couple other examples in my posting history. Looking for any help or books you think I should read. Really want to learn and start being successful. I've only read through attraction formula so far.

All the important information is missing: what happened during the date?

It looks like your ability to see IODs (Indicators of disinterest) is suffering. The good news is, that will come with time and experience. But it is important to know what to look for.

There is plenty of material online regarding IOIs and how to interpret them. But remember, Indicators aren't always positive. Sometimes you'll observe body language interpreted as she's bored/distracted, and those are the times you figure out how to bail and change up the game.

Have you entertained the thought that you are trying to date out of your league? I ask this because based on her reaction to your text, she is VERY intent on making absolutely sure you aren't getting the wrong idea. That either means A. You really fucked up during the date, or B. You misread the situation as a "date", when in fact it wasnt...for her.

More details on what happened (or didnt happen) on the date would be nice.

Ah I left out information as i'm more concerned by the fact this has happened more than one occasion. We met online through the website fetlife, first time i've met up with someone on there. We agree'd to meet up for a local event as she was apparently to shy to go to one herself. Haha you're right it was your option B.


We met up for coffee beforehand, she paid for my drink deal was i'd buy her a beer at the event. Since the event was an hour away I decided we should go play pool, we couldn't find a place so we just hopped into a bar for a couple of drinks. She initiates kino and I reciprocate. We then head to the event which was a complete shitshow haha. Anyways were flirting throughout that span of the 3 hours making her blush. One thing I did notice is that she tried to lead me a lot, as in telling me to go first through doors, this way ect. I flipped the script when I could. She did touch me a lot, at the end I waited with her for her bus where she said multiple times that I didn't have to wait. Her bus comes I kiss her and she says thanks.

Out of my league in what regard, I thought leagues don't exist in the pua community. She was maybe 5 or 6 at best, she had a nice ass that was about it. So unless i'm really ugly?

Our of your league in terms of both looks AND level of game.

If you aren't great looking, game needs to be better. If you are great looking, you don’t need as much game. We all have a combination of the two, then it’s a matter of catering everything to where you are in this spectrum.

What her text tells me, in conjunction with your explanation of the date, is that either shes a complete psycho, or you couldn’t read her signs. Which do you think it is based on your interaction with her?

Wish I could give some tips on the online dating thing but I haven’t had much experience with that so ill let others chime in.

Only you could know if you're ugly (she must have been attracted to you enough at some point to go on the date with you) and I'm no expert and before I say it's just women being psycho, I think the kiss on the date is where things went wrong, reading between the lines.

The few successful dates I've had, the kiss had just ended up happening organically, somewhere in the middle of the night, not at the end, like me and my date would just end up kissing before I knew it.

At very least, you should have kissed her when waiting for the bus, not before it came. She said enough times that you didn't have to wait for her. Some would see that as a shit-test, some an IOD. When the kiss came, maybe it felt awkward to her.

It also seems like she lead everything, which is something girls hate and what I've learnt from previous disastrous dates, is if the guy doesn't take the lead and a kiss seems forced, the girl will say either very soon or somewhere down the line "I didn't feel any chemistry" and end it there.

She's put you in the friendzone and is making out like you were a friend all along, to put the blame on you for her being a bitch. Chalk this one down to experience, if you haven't known her long, it won't hurt that much to walk away from the situation and find someone else, you'd have forgotten her name in a few months, trust me.

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REBORN

Let's keep things simple.

Forget everything else here.

All you really need is sexualization and/or BALLS to be DIRECT from the VERY BEGINNING.

You're completely shutting off and eliminating all possibilities for a woman to feel anything remotely sexual toward you, and you're SURPRISED when they say they want to just be friends?

In pickup, there's a rule called "you go first." You control the frame of the interaction and relationship between you and the girl. If you show that it's OK to be sexual from the very beginning, that will give her room to send those feelings straight back at you.

If you're scared of rejection and shut off your sexual side from the very beginning, they'll shut it off, too.

You go first. It's pretty simple.

I agree with Chief.

You're committing #1 newbie mistake right now. You're thinking about unimportant shit. You're saying she was trying to control you that you go first, and other BS like that. You were too concerned with trying not to be needy and didn't escalate at all. There is not a single sexual thing you mention about the interaction. And meanwhile you think she is stupid, which is also not too attractive. The fact she called you out shows that she knows what you're up to, and then you just deny it with weaker and weaker lines.

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"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

If you find it hard to go immediately sexual around girls, place your keys or any shiny metal object near your cock area. You'll become an instant sex object and then you take it from there.

Girls are generally the same like guys. When guys see a wet pussy hole, our dicks get hard; whether the pussy owner is ugly or hot is moot and academic. In the same light, girls get wet when they imagine the size of your cock in your pants as you bring girls' attention there with shiny metal objects.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

You failed to pick up on IOD's. If this was your first time meeting her, something might have fallen flat. It sounds like she was into it until about halfway through.

That, or she was expecting you to be more dominant. Is she a sub, a switch, or a domme? Subs generally like men to show their dominance, same with switches.