Hi, guys. (all of you who hate reading just skip to the bottom )
This is basically my biggest sticking point, which in most cases leads to social anxiety, awkwardness, (shyness i guess too) etc. Forget my lack of game and being a complete AFC, because this is not only girl related. I suck at talking with my friends too. Sure, I can crack a good joke and make people laugh, I can discuss topics...but more often then not, I will run out of things to say and then instantly...in 3 seconds of silence a switch flips inside of me "oh shit, nothing to say again, damndamdamn blahblahblah..." And here comes a freezout because my mind is now totally off topic we are talking about. Also, as you may notice, this means that I am not the one that can lead or steer conversation in any way unless super interested about it.

Here is another great example of how awful I am at conversing. It has to do with storytelling. Couple of girls and guys sitting at the table. All of them my good friends except one girl (very hot and sucessful btw), so they are all talking about crazy people on youtube doing stuff...buddy across me explains in vivid details how some crazy dude messes around with people on youtube etc. My turn. "Eumm, there is this one guy, Steve Green yeah. So he is like real life troll. So he goes out around on streets urmrm...and trolls people u know, fucks around with them. He is totally crazy. You should check it out." Somewhere in there were some more mumblings of how crazy he is...very non-descriptive. So, I just deflated groups energy in like 10 seconds of talking, someone jumps in to save me with more youtube dudes and i pull out my mental shovel so I can dig a grave to bury any value I had left so that hot chick can spit on it for the AFC maggot i am. oO

So, to conclude: I suck at storytelling, animating, leading conversation, keeping conversation alive and digging out cool topics out of my brain. Ridiculously though I can write a pretty good story or a book. Where and how to start discovering my verbal skills?

Observe and Practise are the keys. Look for good story tellers in your social circle. Pay close attention to their body language and especially how they play with their voice tone. And start practising. Even in front of a mirror might be good enough for a start but even then, don't just imagine and speak in your head. Say it out LOUDLY. Sure it feels stupid to talk to a mirror but it helps a lot.

As for leading conversations it can be tricky. Make sure you engage the entire group with what you're saying so they will pay attention to you. Some tricks might help, like loudly stating "Nobody look here now!!". Everyone will look at you... Then you can just continue. "Now that I have your attention..."

You say you're good at writing and that means you're intelligent. Verbalizing thoughts however is different than writing them. You don't have so much time to think about what you'll say and also there's real time peer pressure on you. So you must work on this. If your school has projects where you have to give presentations you should volunteer for them. It's great practise and it's kind of an in-between step, because your presentation is already written so you only have to deal with the pressure.

Finally, when you're talking do it as calmly as it is possible. Like FORCE yourself to talk calmly. Slow down your speech and make pauses. Not only does it give you some time to think about what you're saying but it also gives you more charisma.

Hope I helped.

Peace,

In$tinct.

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