| ok so she is flaking in a pattern, this shows she is likely a waste of time, but before you move on, or you start thinking, wtf is going on here?, it's time to corner her with a wounderful thing called... qualification
so, there is a problem here, she is always ''sorry and busy'', now, how can we dis-qualify, this problem? you simply remove it from being possible, and get her to aknowledge that, there for she can no longer justify her actions, and her doing so without justification, makes her look worse socially
so here is an example, for new girls, as soon as you see a flake and hit the pattern, qualify them, immidiately dis-qualify the problem
you: hey, I want to hang out with you on Wednesday
her: ya sure
wednesday comes
her: hey, you know how we were supposed to hang out today?
you: ya?
her: well I'm really sorry but my grandma has aids, and she wants to give them too me cause I'm making up a bullshit excuse
you:ok, no problem
^ so this is most likely similar to what you are experiencing or doing, or maybe she is giving you the excuse without saying yes, doesn't really matter, so here is the solution
her: well I'm really sorry but my grandma has aids, and she wants to give them too me cause I'm making up a bullshit excuse
you: ok, no problem, when will you be free to hang out and won't have any issues that could come up, so that I don't make plans with you, cancel on my other friends, then get canceled on by you?
(set out the behavior you want to see, and justify why you want to see it)
then she either tells you when, and she has qualified for you, or she makes up an excuse why she can't, and you continue to play the qualification/dis-qualification game with her until you get her to just be honest, or if you are texting she goes non responsive and stops answering you to avoid the tension, the key here is to do this on the phone rather then over text/facebook, so she can't do that, she has to answer you or it would be weird, so you just eliminate all of her excuses until you get to a clear answer and understand why, also if you are stuck with an excuse that you can't figure out how to disqualify but it seems like bullshit, just question her on it this is useful for when a girl has already previously qualified that she won't flake, but does anyways
her:hey you know how I said I would be free, blah blah blah, im sorry, I blah blah blah grandma... aids blah blah
(call her instead of text right after you get her text, call her out over text if you know she has her phone, something like, ''lol, you just texted me, and you don't answer your phone?... you're so weird)
you: oh that's terrible to hear about your grandma, where is she dieing of aids?
her: blah blah blah,
you: shit, when are you going to see her?
her: blah blah blah
you: no way, I want to get her a get well card, meet me up so you can give it to her
her: blah blah blah excuse
you: no I insist, that's terrible AIDS etc.
if she seriously just can't be convinced, it's time to move on and mentally next her, the less attention she gets, the better, if she is invested at all, she will start to miss your attention, if she is not invested and that is why she was flaking, then you were wasting your time anyways
to be fair, flaking is usually a sign of a girl being low on interest, or doesn't know you well enough, or is simply sexually unavailable, so while this improves the chances of her not flaking, it is not the be all end all, you should just make a really good impression to begin with, so that she doesn't flake in the first place
GOOD LUCK
|