This is the second time I’ve ran into this! Both girls were lower to mid income and little education. Both came on strong talking about sexual stuff all the time (maybe trying to validate and attract me). Sending me nude pics. They would wear next to nothing and brag about it. The first one would not let me kiss her but I could finger her and she would try grinding on me ever time the conversation died.
The second woman I’m a lot more interested in. we went to aromatic place and sat in my car watching a movie on my laptop. I began Kino and escalated to the point of rubbing her inner thigh, she rubbed my crotch, but we didn’t kiss. The battery died on the computer and I was getting signals she didn’t want to stay so I took her home. I figured we haven’t passed the 7 hour rule so why force her to stay to escalate more. So I dropped her off and gave her a hug and she gave me quick kiss. I said no come hear give me a real kiss. so I gave her a sensual kiss but she kept pulling away like she wanted to go inside and I tried to finish the kiss but she would come back as if she wanted to kiss but she was fighting herself. At one point she grabbed my Johnson through my jeans and was like your big aren’t you? But in the end she said, no be patient, just wait.

we texted when I got home, she said I was a good kisser and gave more signals that she wanted to be with me that night and talk but I said:
Well you were in a hurry to get home.

She said I knew where thing were going.
So I said well, let have breakfast iin the morning and ill drop you off at work. So we had breakfast then went to star bucks. At star buck she started talking about all the stuff she likes doing during sex. And I was like the people behind you can hear you. She’s like I don’t care. So I’m pretty aroused and her being really sexual makes me think she wants me to push further for sex. So I use casual Kino to keep things friendly. We go outside and before she gets into the car I try and to get a kiss. But she was uncomfortable like she wanted to but didn’t. So before I drop her off I drove behind her work to get areal kiss before I let her go. But she was hesitant and said she doesn’t want to be horny at work.

So I go to drop her off and we were talking about pics again and she wanted me to send her a dick pic. I was like no, pics don’t do justice. But I was like here undid my pants and let her reach in. she became excited and was like your big!


But now she isn’t answering my texts or call.

So what’s up with that?


P.S. I think her attraction was high but there wasn’t enough comfort or buying temperature. I think she was trying to use sex to attract me but every time I moved in she just though all I wanted was sex and she didn’t want to come off as a slut or just get banged and left. This seems like a ironic trap to me.

so what’s your thoughts and how to I open up communication with her?

i think this answers my question

The nature of attraction

Because womens’ attraction must be sublimated below the level of conscious awareness in order for the plausible deniability system to have any prayer of ending in a lay, women aren’t necessarily aware of their own attraction as a sexual thing. When a woman is attracted to you, she feels it as a fascination - even a compulsion - that doesn’t necessarily involve any direct thoughts of sex; this is not to say that it has nothing to do with sex, or that she doesn’t want sex, simply that practical necessity requires her to cram that undercurrent of sexuality down below the level of conscious thought.
The common male misconception that women don’t want sex is a result of men buying into the lies that women tell themselves.
Points of critical mass

So you’re gaming some girl. Your attract game is 100% on, you’ve got it - whatever ‘it’ is - you are so hot that drinks are turning to steam when you walk near them. You are doing the kind of hot, dirty things to the inside of her mind that you would like to be doing to the inside of her body.
What happens?
Pressure. Dissonance. Urges rise to the surface from her semi-conscious mind, from a dark animal arena of want and she is desperate. For sex. With you. And yet, these urges can’t acceptably involve sex. So what does she want?
She wants to get closer to you. And then she wants to get even closer. And she wants you to pay attention to her. And she wants you to touch her.
And yet, as this momentum of compliance builds, so does the pressure. Because every step closer to you, every escalation, is a subcommunication that she just may have accepted your intention to fuck her.
Before your very eyes, if you dig the whole Freudian shtick, you are watching the battle of superego versus id.
ASD alarms go off. Red lights flash. Her system - the system that balances net gain against net loss - is out of balance. She rationalizes as hard as she can and still - STILL - she hits a point where the subcommunication that the ASD conditions are being violated hits -critical mass-.
And what then?
Well, then it’s time to correct course.
Points of correction: SHIT TESTS

If a social situation seems to be rolling out of control, into territory that is not covered by any contingency on the list above but for some reason she is unwilling to eject, a girl must take CORRECTIVE MEASURES to maintain plausible deniability:
In other words, shit tests.
The exact nature of the shit test in question depends on social factors too numerous and complex to lay out, assuming I could explain, but may be something along the lines of the following:
“So my boyfriend says that… blah blah blah”
“I know what you’re doing”
“I’m not going to sleep with you.”
“Are you a player?”

Et cetera. Et cetera.

What you are supposed to understand, as a player, is that these shit tests have nothing to do with you. These are purely a barometer of the forces at work -inside- her head; like a tea kettle whistling as it lets off steam, they are the product of a natural process.
She is taking steps - socially reflexive steps - to maintain internal equilibrium. This involves maintaining plausible deniability by subcommmunicating (or outright stating, if you’ve thrown her off that badly) that one or both of the ASD conditions are NOT true; she’s aware of your intent, she’s not going to fuck you, or what have you. It may look like she’s making some kind of direct or indirect statement about whether she’ll have sex with you, but in fact what she’s saying is, “I am a woman and my system is out of whack and saying this - by indicating to you that I do not have unacceptable intentions - will make me feel better.”

The reason you can fail shit tests is because when you try to deal with them ‘rationally’, as though they were an effort at communication and not an emotionally corrective measure, you light up a big neon sign over your head that says “I DO NOT KNOW THE SCORE”. Suddenly, it is no longer a conspiracy of silence between you and a girl. Instead of a socially intelligent kind of guy, you are some jerk who managed to get into the clubhouse by accidentally guessing the secret word.

Don’t be that guy.

Make it a conspiracy, instead; a conspiracy between you and your girl. Hide her from her inhibitions, and your rewards will be many and hot.

Be the man.

She’s not going to.

i think her attraction was over the top so every time i tried to move in her ASD went up.so know she thinks she cant control herself amongst my approaches. so shes just going to avoid me.

so now how do i get her to open up and talk to me and in the future overcome her ASD? should i run a freeze out and hope the attraction overcomes her to open back up communication?

Its like the old saying goes: Talkers never do...doers never talk.

im not sure how this can help but i tend to agree with the girl when she throws some ASD lines or "shit tests". Like if she says "we're not fucking tonight" or "this is as far as it goes" or even "im not that type of girl", i'll agree with her but i'll just continue as if she said nothing.

If she insists (they usually do) i'll say something like "you're not giving yourself too easily...we had some drinks, then one thing lead to another, i kissed you and here we are! dont worry about it" i reckon this is what makes her most comfortable, not bearing the responsibility of what is about to happen

Isee where your comming from. but i think this chick was trying to use sex as a way to qualify herself to me. and she is naturaly really horny. so i think shes avoiding me because she doesnt think she can control herself and the asd comes full up. plus i think she was fishing me to see if all i wanted was sex. and i read all her signals wrong. now all i can think of to fix it is to wait for awhile and hit her up at work looking good and when i do talk to her tell her that i feel like shes pressuring me into making moves on her and i want to get to know her better.