Hey thanks heaps for that. I see what you're saying but a little more about the situation.

Her older sister and I are very good friends. Actually at times we have been slightly more than friends. She has an immense amount of respect for me as a person. She has always talked very highly of me to her sister and she knows that I am the kind of guy she needs. I am great with her kid and kids in general. So I think with that in her mind already a freeze out can work.

But I hear what you are saying and if this wasn't the case you would be bang on. Something I had not thought of before so cheers bro.

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AFC4LYFE

If you want a relationship with a girl, it's a good idea to show her that you can communicate and you won't disappear when things get tricky. It's just a good idea to know the pro's and con's of a freeze out before deciding on it. Not trying to sway you at all.
Ha, it's funny that this is probably the only forum that tries to disprove what the other guy is saying by saying, "oh, well you're probably just attractive."

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31 and still figuring it out.

haha. You're obviously quite successful with girls so I'm not disregarding what you're saying. I think your input will be useful should I win her over and begin a relationship. It's Friday night here so I'm about to go out and try meet some new girls to take my mind off it. Cheers for the advice mate.

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AFC4LYFE

Good luck man. Let us know how it works out!

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Fox

Its her actual birthday today. Do I stay strong on the freeze out or is it reasonable to break it to say happy birthday.

I was thinking if she thinks I'm super keen then forgetting her birthday would be something of a curve ball. On the other hand it is a good excuse to make contact.

Thoughts?

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AFC4LYFE

Part of me says tell her happy birthday and make contact. So I think you should stay strong on the freeze out. My afc side is acting up these day and if you decided to do a freeze out stick to it. You can always say happy belated birthday like you only just realised when her birthday was when she reopens you. Again your choice bro! Hope you choose the right one.

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Fox

Hey all

I decided calling her might not be best as she might have felt that I wanted to talk about "us" and not answered out of fear of an awkward conversaton. If she didn't answer (caller ID she has no home phone only cell) then probably not a good thing.

I text her today and the conversation goes like this

ME " Hey u free to catch up some time soon"

HER "Pretty bzy and tired SPAM but myt have sum time sum time soon wat u got in mind?"

ME "nothing too crazy I really want to see that movie inception. Have you seen the trailer?"

no response... perhaps what follows is bad game but I felt like she might have thought a movie with me could have been uncomfortable if I came on to her etc so a couple hours later I added this....

ME "my friend Maggie and I always go 2 see movies on Tuesdays because it's only $10 so if you wana kum let me kno x"

HER "can't I'm so busy this week overload of things to do but thanx for the offer maybe in a couple of weeks tho"

ME "Ok well I said I'm keen to be friends so I thought I would make the effort."

HER "Same here sorry It's so full on SPAM everything got on top of me n gta fix ma car door too. How have you been anyway?"

ME "I just had a major breakthrough as far as my career goes so I'm on a bit of a high (NOT LYING HERE) u have a good birthday?

HER "Congrats thats so good. My birthday was awesome didn't do too much in town my phone died and then I ran out of credit the next day was good considering tho"

(Worth noting that this is the same night that she didn't text me back and I sent those stupid drunk needy texts. I think its good shes making excuses for not replying to me?)

ME "lol geek I meant you're actual birthday not your party"
HER "Oh haha was very tired then didn't get much of a sleep in cause I had **** (her son) first thing after a big night out for a mates 21st"

I didn't respond I thought best to end the conversation on my terms.

I realise theres some bad game in there but on a good note she is talking to me again and responding to me in a positive way. If we hang out I don't care if she thinks it's as friends because I know from past experience if given half a chance I can create that connection again and then move forward without making the same mistakes.

Thoughts? Advice on what to do next?

Also something else I have to think about is a HB9 (close to an HB10) working at a local bar. Lots of flirting and teasing between us but shes to busy serving other customers to reasonably start a conversation. She always looks for eye contact from me and smiles. (have been to bar twice since she started working)

The interest IS there. How do I go about this? My instincts are to go direct and tell her to give me her phone number when the other bar maids and customers can't hear.

Advice on both targets much appreciated.

Cheers for the advice so far.

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AFC4LYFE

So you tried a freeze out for a week and this is what you got? Yeah, it sounds like she's a little more used to the idea of not having you around, this, "Pretty bzy and tired SPAM but myt have sum time sum time soon wat u got in mind?" in particular is a fairly shitty text to get. There's pretty much no game here, but that's fine, it's only texting, at least you stated your intention to see her. I think playing yourself off as just a friend was a really bad idea. She also turned the tables on you and is now going to freeze you out for 2 weeks. I think you just have to roll with the punches and see where she is after she has some more time. Since she has a kid, it's that much harder to get her out in the mean time. Focus your attention elsewhere (which you should have been doing in the past week) and try again later if at all.

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31 and still figuring it out.

It seems she's got a shield up again bro. Give her a little time and I suggest you look for something happening like a new restaurant or something fun and comfortable. Get a bunch of your friends to go with you and a day or 2 before tell her: 'Me and a bunch of friends are going over to _____ on ______. We heard they've got the most amazing _____. Come have fun and take your mind off _____."

That's how all invites are supposed to be phrased in PU but most guys don't do it.

The secret to breaking her shield is to saying to her exactly what she's thinking at a certain point and in exactly the same way she's thinking it. It comes with practice. It's called taking her off her autopilot. You can try that too.

The bartender is not a problem. There's no such thing as too little time. The time you have to peak her interest is short but you can do it. I suggest going and having crazy fun at the bar. Then on a break you order a drink. DHV (it doesn't need to be long) and say "I've gotta run. How can we continue this conversation?" [Credit Mystery] If she's interested she'll say I can give you my number. Voila. Go have fun .
Mystery's number close is brilliant btw. If you get someone to think what you want them to think then it becomes easier for them to do what you wanted them to do. Eg. You want someone to think you're awesome. You act like you're awesome and they think it. Better than going up to them and saying hey I'm awesome isn't it.

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Fox

Yeah they don't really get breaks I was thinking I might tell her to join us for a beer when she finishes her shift. It shouldn't be out of place since we do have this flirting thing going on.

I'll let you know how it goes.

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AFC4LYFE

That is NOT how all invites are supposed to be. That's only if a girl won't meet you alone. If she's not at least that interested/comfortable, I wouldn't even bother.

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31 and still figuring it out.

You both make good points. My personal experience tells me that once I have been this close to a girl I can always get those feelings to come back as long as I can get her to spend time with me. Weather she meets me and is still interested in being more than friends or not, I can still push the right buttons and produce that feeling in her.

It's worked before when I've messed it up way worse than this!

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AFC4LYFE

:O that's how I've been doing it on first times after meeting a girl. It takes a one on one pressure off both of us because we can always rejoin the group. And isolation happens almost immediately when we get wherever we're going. Gotcha minosk I hear you

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Fox

I like putting on the pressure. Not wanting to pressure a girl is a nice guy trait. If I didn't put on the pressure I wouldn't have a girlfriend right now. If I didn't put on the pressure, she would have put off sex for months (I'm now convinced no sex is worth waiting more than 10 days for).

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31 and still figuring it out.