Hi

Yeah, I'm new to this I guess! I have two problems.

I get guilty if I'm seeing more than one girl, even if nothing has happend yet.

And...

I seriously can't lie to a girl to get her into bed (and don't really want to). I want to tell this one girl the truth and say 'you are horny as f*ck but I don't want to string you along because we would never work out' but surely that would ruin it all!

What do I do? Can I labotomoise my guilt cortex? or is it just ok to be honest? (and how do I do it?)

I know how you feel.
Right now I'm at the same spot..
"Supposedly" experienced MPUA's have multiple relationships, and they tell each girl that they're not the only one.
My guess is you're not really in love, or love them.
But maybe if you felt in love with one, you'd leave the other...
I'd do that ...

Thanks for your reply

I'm not talking about love. I have experienced love a couple of times before and I don't want to cheat on that and wouldn't feel comfortable with it either. My problem is different to one-itus (I think anyway).

I kissed this girl and I really fancy her, fantastic body, fun personality etc etc but all I want is a short term, unpressured couple of dates!!! I don't want her to get any other ideas because I have hurt girls before and I get hurt that way too. Also I want the girls to leave happy and I feel very uncertain how to do this.

Hi SilverInferno

I know what you feel, when you say you feel guilty.

I would say it is important to be honest and I try to be as honest in my game (only 2 months in).

I have developed a f-buddy relationship with a girl that I did some direct street game on. I told her that I just got out of a serious relationship, I was not looking or wanting another one. I wanted to enjoy dating multiple women, kissing and sleeping with different women.

I laid in on the line before we had sex.

The girl concerned agreed, saying she didn’t want anything exclusive either and other men were interested in her, to which I said “good”. Although she hints that down the line she might want more.

This brings me to your next point about emotional connections because as you said, you know what love is and this isn’t it. You just want to have unpressured dates.

I think this comes down to your SPAM of her as well, which may alleviate your guilt. I think you have to be wary of doing deep emotional connections with her, as I am starting to do with mine. Game other women, focus on your social life with your friends, new habits, etc…..

Keep things on the surface and don’t let her get underneath to your heart, and likewise don’t try to find a place in hers.

You could always do my approach and just tell her what you want. Worked out better than I thought with mine, but then again that is a different woman.

Hope that helps in some way man.

_________________
"Too much patience will get you nowhere" - Doctor Who (Tom Baker)

Hi Honest Tom

Thanks for the reply, it seems like you've been here before!

I think you're right about laying it on the line. I may have blown my chances with this one as I didn't know how to react in the situation and started to worry about leading her on. She didn't get back to me after I sent her a text.

At what point did you lay it on the line? Was this directly before having sex? (would that not ruin the mood? ha ha!) We did mention previous partners during our date and I think that would have been a great time to mention it, very casually but enough for her to know that I am taking things easy.

I think that another problem is that I do really like the second girl I have a date with. That is a problem in some ways as I think it is developing into one-itus (especially as the other girl is not responding now). Think I'll do some research on overcoming one-itusness!!! What if you genuinely like the girl though? Should I still try and overcome one-itusness? Will that not ruin my perception of her?

Hi Silver Inferno

Well only a few scattered times throughout my life and by accident before I knew game. Now I want to get in that position by choice!

Like I said, I'm not an expert and I'm new to actually practising all this stuff. In my case, I told this girl after we had been on a d2 and we were at her place lying on her bed talking about random stuff. I f-closed her afterwards. From my perspective I was able to enjoy the sex a lot more because I hadn't lied to her or worried about "leading her on".

Yeah, pushing her away in the midst of a heavy make out and then telling her probably wouldn't be the best idea. I think you have to try to find a way to slip it into conversation like I did. If you are asked about your past, last relationship, etc....then it is an avenue to say "look you are really cool and I have to be honest here after my last relationship I decided......"

A mate in PUA stuff told me you don't neccessarily have to tell her OUT LOUD so long as your behaviour is consistent. However, another girl I had been dating and messing around with recently texted me out of the blue and asked if we were going to be exclusive? I had to politely tell her no and was very suprised because I hadn't shown her lots of attention, affection and had watched my behaviour very carefully. She didn't take that well.

For me I'd rather say it clearly out loud so that there is no misunderstanding and then I feel much more free to enjoy myself.

As far as your one-itis goes, I sort of understood it. When I was first learning about game 2 years ago, I met someone who later became my girlfriend. I found it very hard to motivate myself to approach other women because that one had gotten under my skin, so I dated her exlusively. It was good for a while, but I became miserable towards the end.

I suppose it's like you said, if it's love you know. But my advice would be to carry on approaching. You never know what oppurtunities lie around the corner.

_________________
"Too much patience will get you nowhere" - Doctor Who (Tom Baker)

Thanks Tom, that's great advice.

Yeah, I should carry on approaching, I'm still having difficulties as it kind of stresses me out knowing I've got this date tomorrow as well but maybe that could change with some more approaches and if I realise that I have more good options. I'll let you know how I get on.

I think I should go down the subtle, relaxed avenue when it comes to telling girls if I'm not really interested in anything long term with them. I didn't need to worry at the point in which I did but yes, they should always know. I swear that this whole thing is my biggest thing that is holding me back. I need to conquor it. I've had a couple of bad experiences in the past with accusations and finger pointing at me (unjustified but I could have helped) so maybe a couple of good experiences will set me straight.

I should always keep it easy and relaxed, regardless of whether I think I really like them or if they are just a bit of fun. I won't lie to them, I will indicate my situation and intentions but I don't need to set out a contract either ;0)

im new to the forums and not that good at game but i believe that its only as bad you think it is, kinda like that supplication thing, its all in your head and your frame is going to determine how this is going to impact your relationship/game just wanted to share a thought