First off, let me preface this by saying, yes I know it's oneitis, as well she(which I'll explain below) has it as well.

Back in HS(2004) I started dating a girl(sister of one of my friends), she was a sophomore and I was a senior. We dated for about 10 months, things were peachy, and we BOTH broke things off amicably due to my leaving for college in the coming weeks. She was the first real gf I ever had(oneitis alert).

Through college I had 4 semi-serious gf's(none of which lasted more than a year) and numerous sex buddies/pickups.

As for her, she had one steady bf for 4 years, up until about 7 months ago(they almost got married but he spooked her).

Anyways, I didn't contact her at all from the time I left for college up until 6 weeks ago, when she friended me on FB and started an FB chat/gave me her phone number.
Basically we talked a little bit about what we had been doing(as I had just moved to be near my parents after finishing college, and happenstance she lives in the same city now) and that was about it. Off and on over that week we chatted online and through texts, then on Friday she remarked that she was hungry and would I like to grab something to eat.
Bla bla bla we go out to eat, she's eye fucking the crap outta me, dinner goes good, I walk her back to the car with my arm around her(she was touching my hair) etc, but when I go to drop her off she pretty much jumped out right away after saying she had lots of fun/to call her again. She texted me after saying I hadn't changed and that I was still fun to be around etc

Anyways that continues on for another 2 weeks, we hangout 2 more times during that, text/phone calls every other day or so. Tons of flirting going on, she drunk texted me on numerous occasions and let her game slip up.

Basically what happened(and my root problem) is that one night about 3 weeks ago she texted saying she was hammered bla bla bla, we flirt a bit, then she says "I always felt bad about how we left things..." and that "would I mind trying things again?"
against my better judgment I said "no I wouldn't mind, why would you?" she said "no I'd love to" bla bla bla

Fast forward to the last 2 weeks and she's basically been bailing on me left and right. We were going to go to dinner one night and she called me about 30 mins prior and said she had some family stuff to do, the other time we were going to hangout at her new place and she never picked up/texted in the morning that she left her phone at a "friends".

Now the problem: where do I go from here? I know for a fact she still has feelings for me, and ALWAYS has, but I can't tell if she's just playing hard to get or if she's trying to friendzone me(which I honestly wouldn't have issues with).

What I've been doing is just giving her space and letting her text me the past 2 weeks, and she has been, although not as much(which I attribute to xmas time with family).

So what advice do you guys have for me? Should I lay down an ultimatum?/friendzone ultimatum? or should I just lay low an see if she keeps texting/calling/wanting to hangout once she's back in school?


Filler info: she hasn't had a BF in 7 months, so maybe she's just wanting to play it single for a bit( I know I probably would after 4 years with one person).
Also she told me about one of her guy friends(I know big uhoh), she explained he was being a pain and that she friendzoned/ditched him because he couldn't handle not being her bf.
She told me that AFTER I told her I had done pretty much the same with an ex I had just seen, so I'm not sure if it was just bs games or not.
She's also a HB9~9.5

Well last time that happened to me she went out an found herself a bf while stringing me along. Not to say that's what she did.

My first thought is: NO ULTIMATUM
Ultimatums are scary and intimidating. It will only frighten her and put you in a negative box in her mind. Anytime you come to mind, an uneasy feeling will follow and she will obviously not want to experience that and whether consciously or unconsciously avoid you.

I say just lay low with a micro freeze-out. Don't send her a text every other day saying "Free tomorrow?" , "Free Sat?" You will just a beggar. If you she wants you she'll come to you. A little bit of your absence will make her realize what you mean to or evoke within her.
And if she gets all "you've been weird" or "why haven't you been calling?" just tell her flat out that you weren't sure if she wanted to do anything since she kept bailing. But be cool about it. Don't get angry or in her face. That would bring the same result as I described with the ultimatum.
Telling the truth may make her apologetic and qualify herself as one who wants to see you.

Moral of the story: Just give her space. She'll close the gap if she wants to.

Thanks man, I'll give that a try. I've been laying low pretty much all this xmas break, even when she called to see if I wanted to hangout(I actually was busy). We'll see how things go

Thought I would post a followup/ending to my original post:

The cold shoulder test (from me) worked in this situation, she called me on Sunday, we talked about xmas break, then she mentioned that she was bored and would I like to come over and watch some TV/movies?

Anyways, I f-closed and sealed the deal. Thanks for the input guys, looks like I'll be posting in the relationship thread a lot more

Awesome I helped a bro get laid!
Good work buddy