I just want to point out you first posted this topic on July 29 it now Sept 24th its been 2 months and from I'm reading you've gotten no where with this girl but deep deep into the friend zone. You need get your act together and let this girl know your sexually interested.

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Yeah - I've found the things I think I should be doing, and want to ask here if I should be doing them, pretty much are the things I should be doing

I see nothing but benefits to being a stronger, more confident person with EVERYONE, instead of just girls you like.

I think I relate to that - sometimes girls give me this drive to do better and I become an alpha male, but that doesn't kick in all the time. More and more I'm putting focus on just being like that normally. It can only pay off - people pay more attention to you, like what you have to say, etc.

hi reo thanks for your post, you said i need to show her im sexually interested, Can you explain how im suposed to do this?

Im unsure how to salage anything from this

Also thanks to conker for replies.

Hey mate, just been reading through your posts.. to be honest bud, you've made quite a few mistakes haha! - but shit man, nothing is irreversible, so stay chilled with it.

Like the chap above said, you are now deep in friend zone and you need to address that asap. You need to show sexual interest in her but also need to start increasing your value. One solution would be to ask her what the situation with her boyfriend is now and if she tells you that it's over, ask her "what, as in proper over?" then when she confirms you can say something like:

"nice, I've wanted to play with you since you first arrived her, but I'm not an asshole and don't like messing with other guys girlfriends.. I guess you noticed I've been a bit weird right? hehe.. yeah I've just been trying to restrain myself".

That way you increase sexual arousal, but also wipe the slate clean giving a reason for your AFC behavior. You'll also show her that you're a sensitive guy with high integrity and all girls love that.

Then just cut straight to the chase mate: "okay you little heart breaker, now you're free and single, we're going out to have some fun" (just assume she will come, show confidence, don't ask her for a date, tell her she's having one).

You might also want to boost your confidence on your phone game, so once she agrees to the date, say to her: "and what's up with your phone anyway? let's make sure it's working" then call it in front of her, ring it through to her voicemail and then leave a message in front of her: "hey it's [name], clearly your phone works fine, so you got no excuses when I call, we're going out soon and are gonna have loads of fun.. make sure you're in a good mood for a change.. you gonna be in a good mood?" then pass the phone to her, and get her to confirm she'll be in a good mood on the voicemail, then take the phone back and finish the message: "ok sounds like a plan (turning it around to make it sound like the date was her idea) see you soon then my little Pam Anderson (she's a sexy lifeguard right?)"

She'll relisten to that voicemail when you're not around and find it funny. Then, next time you ring, she'll pick up having associated your calls with fun. Game on mate.

Just be confident and stop acting like a bitch.

P.S. To be honest though, this girl sounds like a bit of a head fuck - happy one day, grumpy the next.. maybe a better idea to just forget about her and move on as she sounds like emotional high maintenance and you don't sound like the sort of guy who can deal with that.

Anyway mate, good luck!

i was on shift with her yesterday, i was very confident and in a great mood, i was teasing her abit and she seemed to enjoy the banta!

Her and a mate (male) were showing me some pictures of them on a night out, she said 'you will have to come out with us!', i just played it down abit and never really replied as i didnt want to act desperate, or show her i would just drop everything and go running, so i just played it down!

So im not going to give up on this one just yet, iv already met some new women and not going to repeat the mistakes with her.

Iv looked at the rota and im not going to see her for monthes nw, unless shes at training (which she probably wont be),

I was thinking of sending her a text along the lines of 'did you get my money u owe me?...............' (she sponsored me to do a charity event).
when she replies, i could send 'you still owe me that that drink;).......................'

Is it a bad idea to say 'when u taking me out for that drink', or 'when we going on a night out?'


any ideas?

Not really sure that its a good idea to "game" at work, for obvious reasons.

To late for that mate, shes to hot not not game! i learnt loads even if i havent got close with her!

Shes at uni now anyway, but does the odd shift now and again!

one life I'd like to help but i don't think your ready to be helped
Everything you've been doing so far has been done to prevent this girl from rejecting you or forming negative opinions of you. Due to your fear everything you've done has been fake.

you need ask yourself some questions and really think about this you don't have to tell me just think about them
Think What am I gaining from this girl by acting this way all nice too her?
What am I gaining by going to hang out with her if i dont even plan to tell her I'm interested?

If you hope she going to reward you with sex your sadly mistaken

I don't like the advice you've been getting from everyone else its only contributing to your time wasting behavior.
When you ready to get your act together you can pm me.

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