Hey Guys,

I am sure you can help me on this one.

Just joined a new company and had to be trained on some new tools. Had to be trained by a HB8 and whilst the training only took 10 mins I used the opp to run some game and after about 40 mins broke it off as I had important work to do (of course!).

Over the next couple of days I noticed that when I went to the coffee area to get a brew she would just appear and we would chat, all good signs. The next time I was in the office I thought that if she followed me again I would ask her out for a drink. Sure enough she appeared and I asked. Without hesitation she said yes and I told her to email me with dates she was free. When I got back to my laptop she had already mailed and we set up a date.

We have exchanged a few mails over the week and yesterday she confirmed everything was ok for tonight. This morning I get an email saying she doesn't think it is a good idea and that she has mixed business with pleasure in the past with terrible results, total sh*t test, but one I havn't had before.

I have given her a push by agreeing with her, but is there a way to get round the "I have done this before with someone else and it was a disater" I don't want to lower my value by rising to it but as a sh*t test I havn't been here before.

Thoughts much appreciated

You may have been too easy to get. When I first started, I would always try to fit into a girls schedule. I would try to find "What day's good for her" or postpone to make things more convenient for her. That never worked. Women need to be led. When you leave decisions like that up to her, she will tend to flake. Not to mention they will usually pick some far off day, and by then all the negative voices in their head have had the opportunity to talk them out of it.

In my experience, tell her when the date will be, if that's not good for her, tell her another date that would be good for you. This makes you seem busy and interesting. Also don't ask for a date, state it. Don't say "Would you like to go out?", say "We should go out sometime.". And don't put the date off for too long. Try to go out as soon as possible. The longer until the date, the longer she will find reasons not to go if she's having doubts.

Anyway like I alluded to earlier, I don't think this is a shit test, I think she has let her worries and apprehensions about inter-office dating get the better of her. What I would do, and this is just my opinion, is talk to her in person and bring up the subject. But don't bring it up from a source of insecurity or neediness, bring it up from a source of amusement and abundance. Downplay the rejection like it means absolutely nothing, and like it didn't affect you at all. But then address her apprehensions. Say reassuring things like "it won't be a problem", "nobody will find out", "it won't affect us at work". Make sure to sandwich this part between attraction building. And make sure to put on a seductive voice tone, eye contact, facial expression, and body language when you do this (as it may not work without it). If you go in thinking it's over, then it will be, so trust in your skills.

If it is a sh*t test, I would play down the situation and cheekily say to her that she is thinking way too far ahead of herself to make her think that this is anything more than a drink and a chat. Make her feel how silly she was to think that you were doing this to court her. This will lower her defenses down a bit and once u get her out, you can use this opportunity to use ur game to win her when she's least expecting it.

Cheers guys, all good advice I think. I played it down and let here know that to me it was just a drink after work, no problem that she didn't want to do it. Now I just ensure that when she is around I am doing important work with any of the other hot women in the office.

Will leave it for a while, carry on building attraction and tell her we should do the drink!