Hey guys, im pretty new to the game, im a shy college student who just really cant seem to get up the nerve to speak with women. heres my story and my problem.

The Story:

In my math class there is this gorgeous blonde that I ran into, she initiated the small talk with me and we had a decent little conversation going, untill the prof got mad and kicked me out of class for being disruptive (i got major brownie points cuz she felt bad.) this is how we met, since then ive sat beside her in math for about 2 and a half months (long time I know =\) weve gone and had lunch in the caf a few times and study math together but we havent had a large amount of time to just talk to each other on a more personal level due to the constraints of the times and places that we are together.

About half a week ago I finally had the nerve to ask her out on a date, but before I could she told me about how she had a horrible night the night before because her on again off again BF (which she had never mentioned before) of 2 years broke it off with her and has had a change of heart, he was texting her trying to get her to take him back. On a friends advice I played the guy off as an idiot for letting her go and in general made it seem like a bad idea to hook up with him again, all in all that seems to have gone well but it killed my plans to ask her that day. after talking it out with a friend of mine he said now would be the perfect time to make a move, the term he used was "wounded prey". it made sense so i tried asking her if she wanted to go out and do something later that night, she gave me a dodge response saying

"I dunno, you arent the first person who wants to hang out tonight, a couple of my friends have asked as well and I dont know what im going to do."

My friend who is now determined to get me the girl is offering all sorts of advice and we settled on the fake text approach, aka I send a text meant for my "friend" which she "accidentally" recieves. the following is the texts that we went back and forth with.

Me: "Hey man, I am going to have to pass on tonight, I asked that girl from my class out and I am waiting for her response, Wish me luck! have fun tonight!"

this was to convey that I am giving up other (fun) plans just for the chance to hang out with her, also that i have spoken about her to a friend and am thinking of her. that was the intent anyways.

Her: "ok, have fun"

(naturally I assume shes playful)

Me: "Have fun with?"

Her: "That girl from your class that you texted me about"

Me: "oh... oh god i sent that text to you? how awkward... Sorry?"

(i had hoped to bait her a little bit, asking sorry like a question as if "should i be sorry?")

Her: "oh, i thought you meant some other girl in your class "

(making note of the smiley face I definately figured she was flirting and playing with me)

Me: "no, that text was definately referring to you"

Her: "Wow, that was up frount haha i feel like we have a strong friendship and I dont want to wreck it"

(at this point i panic and get my friend involved again and he attempted to salvage it for me with the following text)

Me: "Why does it have to get wrecked? you decided we already dated and broke up already? damn, i feel like you got me with my hands tied."

Her: "I dunno, like i just got out of a two year relationship and I dont want to date anyone for a long time. I just want to be friends with you, and all guys right now..."

this is where we left it off, I have yet to reply to this, my friend has written her off and I am starting to suffer from "one-itis" because I really like this chick and I want to see where it goes.

can anyone offer any sort of advice to push through this and win her over?

I dont think that theres a way to pull out of this one. Once a chick LJBF's you its pretty much over.

where you went wrong in this story was that you:

1)Waited Way too long to escelate

2)Tried to comfort her in her BF situation

3)Came off as needy.

When you go to a in deph convo about her boyfriend (even if it is bashing him) its pretty much setting yourself up for LJBF because thats what GIRLFRIENDS do they meet up and talk shit about how men are stupid and so forth then they end up either getting back with the same person that they just talked shit about or someone just like him. then the cycle repeats. When ever the subject of a EX or the actual boyfriend comes up I either shurg my shoulders, say "that sucks", or its too early for you to be telling me about your problems then try and change the subject. you said yourself you gave her FRIENDS advics what do you think shes gonna see you as after you do that.

where you went wrong in your fake text approach was that you were comming off as needy (cancelling other plans to be with her) what you should of dont was send her something like "I MIGHT have to pass tonight, I asked this chick out but I think most likely shes gonna wuss out cause she got out of some relationship. If she doesnt then i'll meet you at (insert location here) then we can party all night." The when she "accidently" gets this be like uhhhh i didnt mean that *in a sarcastic way* this way you dont come off as needy. Coming off as needy is the worst thing you can do in pick up. Once a female gets that vibe from you youre pretty much done for.

TBH, the convo about her boyfriend wasnt very in depth at all, I kept it to discrediting him and telling her she could do better.

Not necessarily, but I'll get to that later.

First things first: acknowledge that you are an AFC, and that you don't know what you're doing. You made an SOI (statement of interest) before even receiving any IOIs from her. Why did you think that would work?

LESSON: Expressions of interest to a girl will lower her attraction for you, unless #1) she is already attracted to you first, or #2) you are perceived as being of higher value (an easy example would be a celebrity).

Second off, when you got the LJBF speech, you argued with her. From here on out, whenever she talks to you in that way, either agree or ignore her. Never argue and NEVER WHINE.

Say things like "You know what, you're totally right. We should just be friends."

Girls want what they can't have. By showing genuine agreement, you are demonstrating higher value by showing independence, genuine rapport, and non-neediness. You're showing (not just saying) that you're going to be her friend the next day regardless. You're also punishing her by taking your affection away (which she secretly likes). Your agreement will shock her (in a good way).

I know that sounds like the opposite of what you feel, but trust me, its the only way. Treat it as a mini freeze out. In order to win in the end, you have to have faith and let go for now.

Finally, this is how you close the deal: attraction + physical comfort. I don't know if this is true in her case or not, but her lack of interest in you (LJBF) doesn't necessarily mean she isn't attracted to you. You have to tap into this attraction, or build it through DHVs.

Now, if you have followed my advice and agreed with the LJBF speech, then her guard should be down. Now is the time to start going out with her. Your primary goal in these dates is to build physical comfort, not to talk about your feelings, whine, express your love, or any of that crap. Its also not time for you to make a move. You want to become the guy that she cuddles up with.

When girls start to become physically comfortable with a guy, they automatically start imagining what it is like to be with that guy. Combine this with DHVs and attraction building, and girls stop acting on their thoughts and start acting on their feelings. If you can get her to start watching movies with you in bed, you should be making out with her within a week.

FINAL NOTE: After making out with her, you may get another LJBF speech. It may hurt your feelings, but once again, agree with it or ignore it. Repeat the formula. Repeat the formula enough times and she will be your girlfriend.

thank you guru0z, I will try that out then and see where it leads, i like your outlook more than some of the ones that ive gotten from friends