I'm beginning to think that my game is destroying the innocence that I once felt within the realm of 'dating and relationships.' It seems like the thrill, the butterflies that I felt in my stomach, are gone when I hook up, when I kiss a beautiful girl. I've hooked up with girls from 10 countries, and over 40 of them. I'm not even 18 years old!

Still, they all feel the same, they're blurring, and while I'm really not overdoing it, it just seems like a lonely game, a game where we fool ourselves into believing that a collection of fun sexual experiences can mimic the reality of a meaningful relationship.

I know the way the game works, I know that we can't let it consume us, and that is simply not the issue. I've taught some of this shit to other unfortunate guys in Charlotte, Raleigh, Clayton, Greensboro, and Israel. Still, my best friend, a pretty socially awkward guy, just hooked up for the first time and he's filled with this glee, this amazing feeling that I haven't felt for quite some time. I honestly miss that feeling.

Please don't bash me, I'm just being honest.

Thanks

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Regards from The Ambassador
<(A)>

Completely agree with you man... The butterflies are very very quiet nowadays... Before, we were doing it for love and now we are doing it for... I do not really know. Maybe a form of social acceptance, to keep our "player" status. Validation? Have we lost our ability to love or have we just gotten past the One-itis that 90% of the AFCs mistake for love...

Phoenix

Thanks, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one... I just feel like I got into this about three years ago as a hopeless romantic. I know the feeling, but I found myself turning down relationships the other day because it 'limited me.' Thinking back, I felt horrible, realizing that I've completely forfeited the way that I view intimacy and love. It's become a pleasure instead of the psychological burden that it's meant to be. Without the burden of emotion and relativity, there's no cathartic release when intimacy is reached and the unspoken is put out for the world to see.

Maybe I'm just being idealistic, but I feel like I'm missing something vital...

Any thoughts?

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Regards from The Ambassador
<(A)>

If you can't love yourself then you can never love someone else. I'm a good guy and I am working hard to love my self even more. I am strait up afraid of beautiful girls. I know something is wrong with me.

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Walk Hard