by Style


My concern lately has been the bigger picture in a PU. That, I think, is what should be focussed on once you can get rid of the training wheels of constantly scripted sarges and learning to be cool/charming/attractive.

For a while, I've been discussing with my colleagues the SWITCHES that must be flipped in a woman in order for her to feel attraction. We put together a really long list. From it, I boiled it down to just a few main switches. There is no order to them. They should just be consciously flipped at some point. So I've narrowed this down, and would love to hear thoughts and contributions:

1. You must show her that you're safe. Trust is an important issue for most women. This must be demonstrated. So switch #1: in order to proceed, you need SAFETY and TRUST.

2. You must show her that you have either ambition, motivation, or job/financial security. In other words, you must have a life and goals. So switch #2 is demonstrating to her that you have STABILITY and AMBITION. You don't have to be successful, you just have to show the potential to be successful (unless you're in your 30s, at which point you should have achieved something).

3. You must show her that you're different than the other guys, that you are not generic or boring, that she can learn something from you or grow with you, that you have a sense of adventure or creativity or spirituality. So switch #3 is showing her that you HAVE SOMETHING TO OFFER, even if you don't give it to her in the moment. This is where DHVs are useful.

4. You must be the PRIZE of the room. She wants a guy others will envy her for, that she can brag about to her friends. This is where social proof comes in, where story-telling comes in. It's also where alpha qualities come in, cocky/funny, and not supplicating. So switch #4 is demonstrating all of the many qualities of CONFIDENCE, LEADERSHIP, AUTHORITY, and POPULARITY

5. It's a big world and we all feel alone in it, so if you can demonstrate that you UNDERSTAND her and where she comes from, she will feel chemistry. This can largely be done through demonstrating either cultural, mental, emotional, world view, humor, or life/background commonalities. The more obscure and rare a trait that you connect on, the more chemistry you create. So Switch #5 is demonstrating COMMONALITIES in order to trigger CHEMISTRY.

6. You need an aura of depth and mystery. You must maybe show a vulnerable or wounded side of yourself, you must not give away everything for free, you must be a puzzle she wants to figure out and maybe even have a wound she can heal. Switch #6 then is hooking her with your DEPTH and MYSTERY.

7. You must show her that you are NOT horny, but sexual. This is where social proof comes in too, also demonstrating an understanding of her world (liking her for who SHE is). So switch #7 is demonstrating your own LACK OF DESPERATION while showing her that you RECOGNIZE SOMETHING SPECIAL IN HER THAT ATTRACTS YOU TO HER. This is where QUALIFYING is useful, in other words demonstrating that you like her for who she is--even if you are a player.

So I think these are the main switches. I'm open to corrections and additions. Now, if you can FLIP these, she's really going to be into you. It's solid game. I'd love to see another list: of the switches to flip for a ONS -- the switches that over-ride the social programming and make her crave that adventure and abandon.

Style

Thought this would help alot of peeps problems.

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Ratio theroy...

Good post. Now, for the switches for a ONS, I'd love to talk to some of the more experienced PUA's in here and all of us come up with a list of switches for that, to see what they would be, but I think for SOME in here that list would be dangerous.

edit: actually, if you think about it, all of the "normal" switches could be used for a ONS also, if you progress to that point quick enough AND if you're a jerk and just drop her after you get sex. But, I think MOST of us in here aren't looking to build our reputation that way. At least, I would hope I'm right on that.

i totaly agree. We should have some of the PUA's show us some examples of each switch to get an idea for the noobies.

I think #5, COMMONALITIES in order to trigger CHEMISTRY, is a big one that you can "switch on" very early. Asking open ended questions, listening to the answers, and looking for the themes behind those answers, then following up with something from your own life that illustrates that theme; that's the way to find and build upon commonalities and trigger chemistry.

Good post. Thanks.

I think 1, 3, 4, 5 and 7 are all going to be used for ONS. You need to show her that you're safe and you're not a creepy guy, so that she feels comfortable having sex with you only a few hours after meeting you. You need to be different from all the other guys, otherwise she'll just go with a guy that is different. You need to be the prize of the room, because we all want the person that is the most attractive, most powerful, important person in the room and that goes for women just as much if not more, because they are less interested in looks and more into personality and power. One night stands my not be long term relationships, where you need to form a really close bond, but part of the reason behind ONS is that we just want to be close to someone, if only for one night, and if you can't make her relate to you, then you're going to be emotionally distant and that is counter to the whole concept. As for the last one, she wants a guy that has massive sexual energy, but that isn't just willing to fuck any girl that spreads her legs, otherwise she feels used. You need to exhibit 1, 3, 4, and 5 in order to make a good foundation, all the while building up 7, so that she get hornier and hornier and her buying temp goes up, all the while you keep in control of yourself and don't blow #1 by becoming all gropey, because that is horny and not sexy. You can still dance kinda dirty with a girl and run your hands up her sides and hold her against you while she is facing away from you, with your hand on her stomach, but grabbing her tits and shoving your tongue down her throat too soon is going to blow the whole deal.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

While this is a great thread, some of the most effective attraction switches that NEED to be flipped IMMEDIATELY are non-verbal.

I think #7 is about 80% non-verbal. Once things get into the attraction phase and I feel some rapport, then you are going to be initializing kino and giving some glances at her lips and when she touches her hair, I like to give a meaningful look and follow her fingers as she tucks her hair behind her ear and let a smile quirk my lips a bit and then look deep into her eyes. You want to let her know that you see her signals and that you find them sexy, but you don't want to be looking at her chest or ass until you hit the dance floor and she starts shaking her ass in your direction.

I'm not a fantastic dancer, but I've learned to not care what anyone thinks and just have more fun than anyone around me and just give it really hard and that's a good show of stamina. Also, its nice to have a few dance moves that are good for demonstrating sexuality, ie. when a girl is facing me I like to run my hands down her sides and onto her legs and then back up again while shifting side to side and squatting down and then coming back up again. It always gets a meaningful look when you reach the bottom and you're looking up into her eyes over her breasts, like you would be if you were eating her out. Another one I like to use is a half-spin; you should be familiar with this if you know anything about Jive. Basically, you take one of her hands and spin her around, but you only want to get her half way around, then you pull her into your and grab her other hand with your other hand, so her hands are crossed over her stomach and then you have her ass against your crotch and you can shimmy together. You can also use it to get her back to you and then put the hand you spun her with across her stomach, its good for building comfort, because the stomach feels very vulnerable, but doing it in a semi-romantic kind of way like this doesn't feel like you are going to be reaching into her pants because you are being sauve.

One good verbal sexuality indicator is a discussion about tongue piercings. You can give your thoughts and ask for theirs. Some girls love em, others hate em. Some think girls are ok with them, but not guys. But it always has that sexual conotation to it. My personal feelings (which I like because they are true, but often get disputed) are that girls with pierced tongues are nice because it is an indicator of their sexuality, but I don't feel much difference in pleasure from unpierced tongues, but guys with pierced tongues can give girls a lot more pleasure due to their anatomy (at which point if they haven't noticed my piercing and commented on it, I tend to play with it and make it look like an unconscious thing just because we were talking about it).

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

YEAH... that is solid game... forget about the techniques.. Newbies have to think what they want to demostrate, or make her feel instead of try to learn new techniques... EXample you want to show protection... you can tell an history of how you fight against a pair of rhung to defend an ex girlfriend in the street where you are walking this moment with the girl...

If you want to look like you have social proof or preselection walk with the girl in the campus in an hour where you are sure that theres is going to be a lot of your friends...

Remember the tribal leader is not always the strong there was the magician too... so if you want to demostrate that learn about spirituality, chakras and stuff...


well...

where do you guys find all these old posts by style/TD etc...

is there some website?