Oh boy, this is a long one, and I am feeling like absolute shit after this happened last night...please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Initially met this chick at a salsa club...she made an approach to me, and talked to me for about 10mins. Saw lots of IOI's. I gave her my number and got out of their.

The next morning she texted me saying she liked meeting me and said she wanted to see me again.

I set up a date for 5 days later.

Met her last night and things seemed awesome. She was laughing at my dumb ass jokes, showing many IoI's. Half way into the night she asked me to dance- I did, and came close to her and was getting extremely touchy/feely....
Told her I was a musician and she looked like she wanted to marry me, haha

I was ready to lay a kiss on her but thought "I'll save that to last"!

Because it was a date, I bought the shit (her dinner and transport)
She was honestly giving out all the IOI's BIG time. I was all over her.


Went to our last destination and she asked me to dance again, did the whole routine and went for the kiss......FUCK!!!!!

Did things go wrong!!!!!

Tried and she said 'sorry'......SHIT!!!!!!!!!

"I want to find friends here"

She was from Sweden

Anyway that really fucked me off....I didn't let her know that but.

I thought it's time to ditch this possibility so i went for broke and talked a bit more til I got home.

On the way back she told me she was raped 8 times before, and she showed me all these cuts she did to herself.

It really made me feel bad for her, so my mood lightened up a bit.

I thought 'screw this', I am going to try again.

I did this kino thing on her, and got her to close her eyes, and visualise all sorts of shit. In this process, I was getting close to her, rubbing her all over, touching, hugging a lot....but I didn't go for the kiss.

A part of me thought she does like me, but is frightened.


Dudes, I beg of you, please help me here...I do like this chick, but if I saw that their was 110% of never getting with her I am off.....

I will have to hit the road!


HELP!!!!!!!!!!

I must say that she did seem a 'different' type of gal. I did like her, and thought she was cool....I did sympathise with her past problems.....

i don't want to sound like some TOTAL asshole

Well lets look it this way:

1. She contacted you
2. She went out with you
3. She showed IOI big time
4. she was raped 8 times and she TOLD YOU THAT

So if you want my opinion i would say this:
She has been used and dispite all of that it seems that she really likes you but you have to understand that it aint easy for her either. I bet she would love to kiss you deep in her heart but there is some obvious factors which triggers the alarm system. The confidence against other male has been smashed down for her so i dont wonder if it takes time for her to kiss you..
You just have to wait untill you have builded enough trust and comfort between you two so she feels that she can trust you.
Overall there is two key words for this, trust and comfort.

EDIT: Please treat this girl with dignity that she deserves

[ Johnny B ]

_________________
When you lose, don't lose the lesson. ~Author Unknown
Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small. ~Ruth Gendler

This is a hard one. There is something about female attraction that is so incomprehensible - you can be doing everything right, and then everything goes wrong. And why?

In this particular situation, you seemed to be playing the game right for most of it. You didn't mention enough details for anyone to plug into the equation and see if the right answer comes out, but it sure looks like you did an okay job at first anyway.

Cat-string theory looks like it would have applied in this situation, particularly after you got up and started dancing. You should have thrown some negs in there (only a couple), push-pulled as well.

Maybe said, "I've been told I'm a good solo dancer too, check it out" or just backed off and started dancing in front of her, no touching. This pulling away shows her that you apparently 'aren't interested' or at least it seems like you are indifferent - a key word in a PUA's arsenal.

I'm no expert at all, in fact I'm a beginner. Just remember to make her want you, not the other way around.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

"I thought it's time to ditch this possibility so i went for broke and talked a bit more til I got home.

On the way back she told me she was raped 8 times before, and she showed me all these cuts she did to herself.

It really made me feel bad for her, so my mood lightened up a bit.

I thought 'screw this', I am going to try again.

I did this kino thing on her, and got her to close her eyes, and visualise all sorts of shit. In this process, I was getting close to her, rubbing her all over, touching, hugging a lot....but I didn't go for the kiss.

A part of me thought she does like me, but is frightened.


Dudes, I beg of you, please help me here...I do like this chick, but if I saw that their was 110% of never getting with her I am off.....

I will have to hit the road!


HELP!!!!!!!!!!"""""








Well, guys, thankyou SO much for your reply. Unfortunately things are too late.

I realllyyyy screwed this up man!!!!!!!!

The next day I got the message that she "had a really interesting time, but thought it best we don't see each other again"

I think she knew deep down with all that visualization shit I was still trying to get a kiss- even after she told me about the rapes.
What an idiot I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really started to think so much about what a great chick this gal is, and a VERY BAD case of one-itis set in REAL quick. I tried to back right up and get things on track. I texted and first let her know I was hurt and wanted to know what i did wrong. BIG MISTAKE. I let her know I felt rejected.

Then I started thinking harder and read what you guys said. I started to worry if she was OK, and wasn't upset cause of me. I texted her four times with no reply.

Then finally, i was not sure all my texts were getting to her. So in my final text I asked her if she recieved them and Told her i feel bad again.

She said "Leave me the fuck alone all i call the cops!"

SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


How badly can one guys screw it up!!!!!!!

And I thought I was on the right track.

So here I am, with a severe case of one-itis and feeling relly strong about this gal after she told me to fuck off!!!!!!!!!!


anyone got ANY advice??????


Thankyou guys so so so much!

You're well finished here.

What was your goal? Clearly, she figured it out and she didn't want to be a part of it.

And whether you wanted to fuck her for the night or you wanted her to be your girlfriend, you played it wrong by continuing to grope her. Wow, that was just painful to read. A bunch of us can give you a few pointers of how to better attract a girl in those instances and even get some play . . . but for now, I think this would be a disservice to you and the girls who cross your path.

Go back to the drawing board. Figure out a game for yourself. Currently, you have none. Try to understand that a girl isn't a blow-up kissing doll.

Cheers man, I really appreciate this answer. It has given me a good kick in the ass.
I'm still frustrated at 'what could have been' if it wasn't for my stupid actions.

And I appreciate you saying 'I blew it"

I have to game more and PRACTICE WHAT I READ and APPLY.

Currently I KNOW what to do, but my EMOTIONS get in control and blind me to the correct actions to take.

I wonder if any of you have been throught this stage??

I just must discipline myself and keep the mentality if abundance even when I am with a chick I dig.

Mv goal was soley to kiss her, and get close (not necassarily to screw her, but I would have probably) And I did all that visulaization shit to try and acheive this goal.

How should I have went about this.

Please tell me all the errors you can see. I VERY MUCH appreciate this, and am sick of the loneliness.

Whoa man... that's harsh. I'd probably say to work in a little bit more sexual type teasing earlier in the game, to let her know you are attracted to her without saying it directly, and see how she responds. Its possible that she was giving you friendship IOI's the whole time, she may of just been a really touchy feely person who liked to dance. When you went in for the KC, it probably popped into her mind (due to her being raped so many times) that "all guys want the same thing" and she cut it off short.

Oh yeah, and "what did I do wrong" is probably the most insecure thing you could have said afterwords. I would have just apologized for crossing her boundaries... anyone got something to add in at the end to up the chances of seeing her again?

The problem is that you have no respect for our game. You have no interest in the game itself. You have no patience for it. You wanted to kiss the girl, so you thought up a few "tricks" and you dove in. When it didn't work, you did it again, . . . and again.

There's too much going on here to cover everything but here are some thoughts to ponder:

You seem to think that when a girl doesn't kiss you, she hates your guts and thinks your ugly. Then you seem to think that when a girl hates your guts, you must be a piece of shit. So you feel bad. . . and you don't want to feel bad. So you have to get that kiss no matter what. Well, this kiss is now no longer about pleasure. It is no longer about a connection between two people sharing saliva and getting turned on. You've turned one of the most fun things in life into a BROWN BAG alcoholics use to cover up their street booze. It's a cheap cover up. . . with or without the brown bag, nothing really changes does it?

Start with this:

Write down all your goals in terms of your social life. Write them all down. If you can even be bothered with this, let me know and PM me. I'll do what I can to help you to move along.

Tried to PM you, but said it failed

Hey man, thanks so much for your interest. I am really down now. I was gaming for 4 weeks, talking to a lot of gals, doing not too bad, even though I only got 2 numbers and 1 kiss. After I stuffed it with the Swedish gal, I have felt very bad, and rejected and hopeless again. This is so weird for me, and upsetting. Woman have told me I am good looking and I notice them eyeing me on the street daily. However, if this good looks is true, it really hasn't helped me a bit.
My social life goals are thus: (I hope these are specific enough)


*To screw a lot of chicks,
*To juggle like 3/4 chicks at a time, so I don't get one-itis.
*Finally, like most, to find Ms. Right somewhere out their, have kids etc

I am at that point now thinking "Will anything ever happen?"

After the swedish gal, I have lost incentive to game. And I'm feeling I have no hope.


Many many thanks mate- I really do appreciate your time in helping me.

Peace,

Cheers for this dude. I know what you mean about my "what did I do wrong" comment. It is now obvious that i went out their with absolutely no plan, and just 'winged it' and didn't restrain myself at all. next time, even if I have to carry notes in my pocket to remind me to settle sown a bit, I will!

Basically i have backed rigghhhhtttt offff...............My last text said "Please take care and be safe" I mentioned that was my last text to her.
The gal had obviously been through a lot, so I mentioned that I genbuinely care about her

I would love to see her again (I do genuinely like the gal), but this prospect seems real low!!!!! real low!!!!

Hopefully after a week she may change her mind........I doubt it but

thanks again bro!