First Attempt at DHV Writing - any advice?



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PostPosted: Mon May 04, 2009 9:41 pm 
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Joined: Sat Nov 15, 2008 12:05 pm
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Location: London, UK
Was out sarging and wrote these off the top of my head. Number one is designed to elicite emotional spikes by peppering it with emotional language. The second is meant to hit attraction switches for Leader of Men and Humour (If told correctly). If possible I'd like to pepper them with more attraction switches so if you have any additions please post! Most of my experience is to do with travel so I play that card in most of my openers.

1. DHV 1 - Paris
I once took a girlfriend to Paris and we explored the winding lanes. We went up the Eifel Tower but what nobody realises is that before the tower's lights go on there's this eery calm. the city goes quiet and the town dark... Then suddenly the lights of Paris come on and it's not at once, but each building. Everytime it comes on it's like bang! bang! Bang! you get a rush - an emotional spike of adrenaline as each one surprises you...

2. DHV 2 - Thailand
I took my mates to Thailand to do some charity work and we got to know the locals. I had taught them to play 5 card poker and one night we were in the local bar playing when a crazy bush guy comes in siddles up next to us. He's nuts! I mean mangey hair, big beard and red eyes. He turns and says "You Right, Mite?" (Aussie Accent). It turns out he's got a thaiboxing training yard out in the sticks and he invites us to go out there. He says "Give me a 1000 Bhatt and I'll train you for a week". Now, I don't know about you but this guy is dodgy, I mean crazy! There's no way we trust him. So I said to him (Kino here to make point) "Look mate, you teach us Thai Boxing and THEN we'll give you 1000 bhat." You know what? The next day we get woken up at 6am and taken to a jeep and we drive into the middle of nowhere and low and behold there is a thai boxing camp and we spent a week there. It was amazing!

Obviously this is a first draft. I have variations of the DHV 2 for other countries - AUS and NZ mostly. If there's any advice it would be much appreciated! cheers!


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