I love stand up, and sometimes I get a chance to stay in and be "lazy" with a lady friend on Friday and catch the stand up on Comedy Central. Other times I catch something on my Zune while riding the business, then write down notes of what I remember after (turned into routines mostly):

Based on Dan Mintz material:
-So this girl over there asked for my number, but she this one huge snaggle tooth so I told 60 gajillion.

-Hey quick question, I gotta leave soon. Why do they always say that superman is faster than a speeding bullet? Why not just a bullet?

-So I went to this family style restaurant the other day, all they did was yell at me. (in C maybe?)

-Flowers have the worst sex life right? I mean they just get pollen, then a bee lands on them and takes their pollen. But what if it takes it to another flower, is that flower like "wait, im not gay" (last past said somewhat unsure in a flower voice whatever the fuck you want that to be)

Expect more like this. Add your own too (avoid well known comedians) or reports of how the material worked in field.