okay so we met like 1 and a half month ago. it was her birthday right when i broke up with my ex. I met her approached everything was good, she had a friend too. I gave her a hug cuz it was her birthday.
This girl is amazingly cute.
Okay so i got her number the next day i met her. We texted and everything, however. I came to noticed that she was SOOOO OVER PROTECTED (BITCH SHIELD TO THE MAX). It took me a week to disarm this, build comfort, etc. HOWever she was sooo scared that i might fall for her cuz she has had like the worst history with guys. She is very protective of herself and doesnt want to let any one in. she even told me this. I kept asking her to hang out, she said "i dont want it to be like a date thing".

Okay so going back, her ex visited her 3 times, second time he physically abused her. that is what she told me.
she also has abandonment issues with her parents. fathers gone, etc.
So i wanted to help her. HONESTLY, i fell for this girl hard. HARD i mean. We hung out the next day, took her to the mall, we smoked some weed, etc. It was amazing, she had a lot of fun, we came back late. I dropped her off home, and went home myself. (she always tells me im cocky, in a complaining way, but i prove that im not being cocky, its the perfect level of confidence, and i earned it, cocky is when ur above the limit, etc.)
I build ALOT of DHV over time. ALOT. she flirted with me too, alot. telling me shes naughty, etc. etc.
This girl is soo over protective though. So she tells me shes leaving, she has a flight to mexico, she goes away for a month. While shes gone, we were talking, and i slowly jumped into telling her that i liked her. She was like "omg, omg omg" i can never have a guy friend. i was heart broken. so then we kept talking for like 2 days, (texting) i told her i cannot be with her as a friend. emotions will eat me. then she panics, shes like omg. again with the whole i can never have a guy friend.
She texts me 7 days later. and tells me she misses telling me everything, talks to me about how i make her feel confident,etc, etc. all that lovey dovey shit. Then she comes back after that one month, she tells me she wants to see me. I see her we hug, etc, i hold her by her shoulder, we go get coffe and sit in my car. I asked her about herslef, etc. She tells me she likes no guys, she has no feelings or anything. She is discusted in herself for what she did with her ex. she said she never liked him, she only used him, and now his life is ruined, and she doesnt want to do this to me. I asked for a chance, she said no. So i gave her an ultimatum, as i was frustrated, i was either let me go, or give me a chance. She said then that i deserve alot better than her. etc. etc. And that she loves me as a friend. I drive her home, not talking to her. she said she will still text me, etc.
She grabbed my arm one time i passed her without loking at her (next day after the talk).
Then i texted her 2 days later, asking for a hangout (after the talk), telling her how i dont like how i ended things off. she WENT TOTAL OFFENCE MODE.
Telling me that she wont give me a chance, what do u want from me, etc. I kept sweet talking to her. Then she said u fucked up our friendship. I said we can start over, clean slate. She said okay. (last night). And i said good night. (this was over 1 day of her being totally offence mode, the at the end i cleared the air)

I am soooo confused. I did EVERYTHING RIGHT. EVERYTHING. WTF. Im a good/average looking guy as well. PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN, i dont want sex, i want a relationship wit this girl.


and i summarized everything. this was like 100,000+ texts summarized. and talks, etc.

so tonight is the night after this last text, i didnt text her.
FUCK FRIENDZONE. THIS TOTALLY DESTROYED MY CONFIDENCE. TO PIECES. I FEEL SHATTERED.

[quote="haszan1172"]okay so we met like 1 and a half month ago. it was her birthday right when i broke up with my ex. I met her approached everything was good, she had a friend too. I gave her a hug cuz it was her birthday.
This girl is amazingly cute.
Okay so i got her number the next day i met her. We texted and everything, however. I came to noticed that she was SOOOO OVER PROTECTED (BITCH SHIELD TO THE MAX). It took me a week to disarm this, build comfort, etc. HOWever she was sooo scared that i might fall for her cuz she has had like the worst history with guys. She is very protective of herself and doesnt want to let any one in. she even told me this. I kept asking her to hang out, she said "i dont want it to be like a date thing".

Okay so going back, her ex visited her 3 times, second time he physically abused her. that is what she told me.
she also has abandonment issues with her parents. fathers gone, etc.
So i wanted to help her. HONESTLY, i fell for this girl hard. HARD i mean. We hung out the next day, took her to the mall, we smoked some weed, etc. It was amazing, she had a lot of fun, we came back late. I dropped her off home, and went home myself. (she always tells me im cocky, in a complaining way, but i prove that im not being cocky, its the perfect level of confidence, and i earned it, cocky is when ur above the limit, etc.)
I build ALOT of DHV over time. ALOT. she flirted with me too, alot. telling me shes naughty, etc. etc.
This girl is soo over protective though. So she tells me shes leaving, she has a flight to mexico, she goes away for a month. While shes gone, we were talking, and i slowly jumped into telling her that i liked her. She was like "omg, omg omg" i can never have a guy friend. i was heart broken. so then we kept talking for like 2 days, (texting) i told her i cannot be with her as a friend. emotions will eat me. then she panics, shes like omg. again with the whole i can never have a guy friend.
She texts me 7 days later. and tells me she misses telling me everything, talks to me about how i make her feel confident,etc, etc. all that lovey dovey shit. Then she comes back after that one month, she tells me she wants to see me. I see her we hug, etc, i hold her by her shoulder, we go get coffe and sit in my car. I asked her about herslef, etc. She tells me she likes no guys, she has no feelings or anything. She is discusted in herself for what she did with her ex. she said she never liked him, she only used him, and now his life is ruined, and she doesnt want to do this to me. I asked for a chance, she said no. So i gave her an ultimatum, as i was frustrated, i was either let me go, or give me a chance. She said then that i deserve alot better than her. etc. etc. And that she loves me as a friend. I drive her home, not talking to her. she said she will still text me, etc.
She grabbed my arm one time i passed her without loking at her (next day after the talk).
Then i texted her 2 days later, asking for a hangout (after the talk), telling her how i dont like how i ended things off. she WENT TOTAL OFFENCE MODE.
Telling me that she wont give me a chance, what do u want from me, etc. I kept sweet talking to her. Then she said u fucked up our friendship. I said we can start over, clean slate. She said okay. (last night). And i said good night. (this was over 1 day of her being totally offence mode, the at the end i cleared the air)

I am soooo confused. I did EVERYTHING RIGHT. EVERYTHING. WTF. Im a good/average looking guy as well. PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN, i dont want sex, i want a relationship wit this girl.


and i summarized everything. this was like 100,000+ texts summarized. and talks, etc.

so tonight is the night after this last text, i didnt text her.
FUCK FRIENDZONE. THIS TOTALLY DESTROYED MY CONFIDENCE. TO PIECES. I FEEL SHATTERED.[/quote]


Hey brotha, I feel you on this one. I've been in a position like that a long time ago. Okay, so she likes to tell you all her troubles and dilemmas, and whatnot. When you start acting like the "therapist" with women that throw all this out at you, you're not seducing them nor winning them over -at. all. You're doing the opposite: you're slowly becoming friend zoned (FZed). Which is what happened to you. This girl, like you said has had a lot of shit happen to her in her life and is probably subconsciously looking for someone that can be a parental figure more or less since she has never had that. "The PUA is the exception to the rule" as is thrown around in this realm quite often. So my friend, do not fall into that trap. If you want any chance of being with her, you (challengingly enough) have to forget about her. You start with not texting her and seeing her in person as much. Instead, live your life and talk to other women. You can see her once in a while, but make sure it's limited. When she starts bringing up shit where you'll have to play therapist, show her your not interested by giving her short answers, even look at your watch if she carries on. She'll get the hint. Make sure you only talk about fun stuff too. All in all, though, don't put all your cards on that. Again, you gotta talk to other women bro. I know it's hard, I promise you I do, but you're better than that. Idk who the hell you are, but I'm telling you that you're fucking awesome, you deserve the best, and if she's not giving you what you deserve, then say fuck it, and see what else is out there -I promise you there's a ton out there.

_________________
Most things we're afraid of are simply challenges, so smile because you'll become stronger from it.

Thanks bro for the motivation. I understand now. But honestly this has been the worst 2 months of my lofe. And i have been talking to other girls haha. Many, many of them. But its not the same though. Fuck me right. I can do an amazing job at meeting girls. Pickin em up, what not. But im kinda tierd of that. I just wanted a relationship witha cute girl like this one. O well guess things arnt meant to be. Just gotta get back up and get my game back on. And yah trust me i know theres a million others out there (; we just gotta find em even if it means getting rejected once in a while. Its just that i was confused. Thought i did everything right.well for future sake, im not gunna get stuck in the friendzone. This shit sucks. And not gunna b a therapist, but i did that becuz i thought being a good oistener was a technique?? Confused. Thanks a lot for reading ny situation and replying bro. Means a lot!

Not a problem brotha. Listening is a good technique -once you and the girl are dating. Before then, however, you wanna definitely steer clear from becoming the problem buddy. The same thing almost happened to me back in the day. There was this one chick I was really into for a bit, and when she would have a problem, she'd call me up and I'd go see her and listen to her and try and help her. Shit didn't go anywhere, and definitely didn't when I tried making a move. Yeah man, sounds like you know what to do. Honestly, listen to the annihilation method on youtube. You can learn a lot from them. Also, add me on fb (Thesius Canova).

_________________
Most things we're afraid of are simply challenges, so smile because you'll become stronger from it.

Aounds awsome. Yah it woulr be amazing having somone frm the pua community to talk to. I will definetly add you. That stuff u wqid will help me a lot. And will definetly stay away from the whole problem buddy thing (;

Hey man sorry to hear it didn't work out. Y'know I don't know this girl as well as you do so I may be guessing wrong here but it sounds like she was a Drama Queen to me. (It's not an insult it's a potential target of a seducer from Art of Seduction).

"There are people who cannot do without some constant drama in their lives—it is their way of deflecting boredom. The greatest mistake you can make in seducing these Drama Queens is to come offering stability and security. That will only make them run for the hills."

If that doesn't sound like her then she could be an Aging Baby. You said she has had abandonment issues which could mean an Aging Baby personality. If she was always playful, innocent and somewhat childish then she falls into this category.

"Some people refuse to grow up. Perhaps they are afraid of death or of growing old; perhaps they are passionately attached to the life they led as children. Disliking responsibility, they struggle to turn everything into play and recreation. In their twenties they can be charming, in their thirties interesting, but by the time they reach their forties they are beginning to wear thin."

But if she doesn't sound like either (and it took me a while to realise this) she could be a seducer. A woman seducer is much different from a male one. They use these techniques to establish a social hierachy (which they usually are at the top of) in their social group as opposed to seducing members of the opposite sex. And there's something about them that you can't quite put your finger on that you find incredibly attractive.

If you lemme know what type you think she is I may be able to tell you what went wrong. And be honest because if you guess wrong then the advice I give you will be pretty much worthless.

_________________
Be the change you want to see in this world because in the end it's not the years in your life that count but the life in your years.

she is very very different. and yes, she is someone you can't quite put your finger on. She definetly might be a player, or a woman seducer. She does almost everything right when it comes to being emotionally connected with me. Everytime we stop talking, she knows exactly what time or how many days it took for me to get over her, she messages me then.

She is also a very jelous person, but does not show it one bit.
then i tried to make her feel like shes the only gurl in the world, etc. cuz she was very jelous, then she's like
"umm, thanks?"

you could tell she was going full bitch mode after that. then i calmed her the fuck down, then she finally told me what was up. shes like "you ruined everything, i wanted to be friends, you fucked it all up"
I TOLD HER A MILLION TIMES THAT I LIKE HER PERSONALITY NOT LOOKS. (partly true, lol)
and shes always showing me pictures of hot girls, just to see how i respond, and i say, meh, shes ok.. then she's like "are you kidding me, i would go lesbian for her". Is this a Sh1t Test? just to see whether i actually like personalities? she did this like a thousand times.

And she is always not wanting to let me go. when i leave, she comes back, and kinda wants me back but as a friend. Theres a million other guys u can be friends with, why wud she want me. she has other guy friends. but she wants me the most...
after she was bitching at me, i pretty much said im done with you. then she back tracks and says nononono thats not what i meant. and start to tell me that she wants to be friends. WTF how can u do that to someone that likes u. I think that she is definetly playing some faucked up mind game. and only the people with great PUA knowledge will be able to tell me. ANY GUESSES?
cuz i dont want to move on without knowing wtf happened. and why im moving on.

Yep. thats her, the one that you never know is going to do or say next. or what she means when she says something.
Her personality was very different when we first met, i was helping her out with her emotional problems. she acted very very very shy and sad before, i made her confident in herself. She told me her step dad made her cry, and told her to keep moving out.
She acted VERY VERY SENSITIVE BEFORE. every time she needed help, advice, fun time, to hang out, mess around, or anything, she would contact me, until now. it got pretty awkward.

And when we stopped talking, before, she messaged me a while after to hang out and talk, i told her im hanging out with my ex. she exploded. Started asking a million questions. "where, what, when, why, how, etc".

However, she has left friends in mexico that she grew up with, she goes back to them every season. she misses them a lot. Maybe thats the childhood part? cuz as she grew up, she lost a lot of stuff. she is not too childish though. she seems mature enough, with sides of childish acts.

and someone please answer all of those questions. and yes im kinda getting at the idea shes a player.

Hahaha ohh buddy you remind me a lot of myself when I was just an AFC. As the guys just told you, its better if you avoid becoming the 'girlfriend with a penis' and not have her dump her emotional baggage on you. Next time, just change the subject (subtly) whenever girls want to friendzone you, because girls will do that if they are either :

1. Emotionally insecure (probably bad past relationships like this girl right here)

2. Not really looking for a relationship (either for genuine reasons or already have a boyfriend)

As for this girl, I recommend you give her the cold shoulder for a couple of days. Let her be driven insane by your lack of communication (since she is so used to talking to you), and when you guys do end up talking, make it look like youve been having the time of your life without her. A few jealousy routines, some push pull, and she should be crawling back to you.

_________________
Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

I haven't talked to her for the past 5 days. usually she would text me by now. i saw her yesterday and i looked away, gave her the cold shoulder. and she pretended to think its okay. i could see it.

Its kinda killing me ignoring her, but it's all for the best. if she comes back, then sure. if not, then its her loss.

that is the kind of mindset im putting.

However, my exams just finished, and im at home babysitting my sister. bored to death at home. so im just feeling bored and the stupid monkey in my head keeps telling me to text her. and a lot of the things i do remind me of her. EVERYTHING pretty much, movies, food, etc. strong case of oneitis but im fighting it like a champ. it sucks though.

Im just happy i have people to share it with, cuz this stuff does happen to the best of us. I hope someone can do 1 on 1 coaching with me? add me on facebook! https://www.facebook.com/hassannnnnnnnn

just need to get back up on my feet and move on. please help?

Ok, let me just tell you a few things.

1) this is a classic case of oneitis

2) this is also a case of "the knight in shining armour syndrome". You want to be that perfect guy who can take her out of her shell, and be her man forever. People who go around saying they have terrible luck, or everything bad will happen to them, SEEK OUT those results. She will subconsciously mess this up. That is a 100% guarantee. She chose her previous abusive ex, and will choose others probably too.

I tried to date girls who have had abusive guys in their past. They thought I was too good to be true, because I didn't punch them for disagreeing with me.

3) this is a pickup forum. look around, learn some things, meet some people to sarge with. whatever.

but don't come here with a 2 page whiny rant hoping someone here helps you to make this your wife. find a girl who doesn't have issues bro. there's sooooooooooooooo many.

sorry forgot to mention. you didn't to "everything right" you basically DLV a ton (whether you realize you do or not), and you think you're so confident, and yet you're acting like this girl is your world.

you want a relationship, but you haven't even gone on a date with her to see if shes relationship material.

cut your losses, and move on.

Im going to have to agree with JayMoe on this one bro, this is for sure a case of oneitis. But dont worry about it too much, as long as you have identified the problem, youre already half way there to solving it. You can PM me any time you like, so if you would like to talk about it some more I would be happy to help you out.

Trust me, I was in your position a long time ago, couldnt get over a certain girl, but I had to realise that I was making a huge mistake and was throwing away any chance I had at a normal life. And there was another time where I was about to date this emotionally messed up girl( even opened a thread about here due to the confusion she was causing me) but decided to ditch her, since those kind of girls (like your one) are going to cause you trouble later on. They arent worth it

_________________
Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

Haha yah my onitis thing has been killing ke. But im recovering from it greatly and it has only bren 5 days so far. Im already taljing to otger chicks. Hotbabes, etc. Its just that when i get bored this girl comes into my mind cuz usually we would always be texting when im bored. And we have gone on a few dates anf hung out alotn wish i never met her. Down side to approaching grls unfortunatly is u might encounter fked up ones. O well im moving on for good. Thanks alot guys for helping.great advice. And yes i woulf love some 1 on 1 coaching please. Thanks alit. Add me on facebook (;

I would love to add you on Facebook, but I havent opened it for quite some time Like I said, PM me whenever you feel like it to talk about this all. I was once in your position, so I know what you are going through.

Its good to see youre starting to get over her, those baby steps will help you in the long run. As always, there are going to be messed up chicks everywhere, its all part of the system, the trick is knowing how messed up they are before fully committing to going after them. Once you get the idea that shes damaged goods, just ditch her and move on. Plenty of fish in the ocean

_________________
Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

Yep. Im just trying to pass the time bro. just went out and baught a ps3, cuz i just finished my exams. and im home for a week. so i just baught a ps3 to pass some time. I cannot go out i gotta baby sit my sister. And yes, finally im seeing her downsides. I would have gotten over her faster, but the stuff she did was just too lovable. Like she told me that she is damaged and that i shouldn't waste my time on her. it just destroyed me, cuz i wanted to fix her for me, but she didn't think i could, so she wanted me to move on. Then everytime i see her, that feeling i get, where all my blood just rushes through my brain and my heart drops, hard to explain. But basically u lose a lot of energy you have worked hard to create over time. It sucks.