| I kind of accidentally delivered two borderline offensive negs to two separate good looking women regarding their physical appearance in the past week and both times it appears to have worked in my favor, or at least not put me out of the running.
1) AGE
On St. Patty's day I ended up speaking to a very attractive college girl and somehow we got on the topic of age (perhaps because I'm 34 and she's 21) and she asked me to guess her age. I joked that she was 38 or 39, not really thinking she would in any way take me seriously. But she did.
She got really offended and acted all shocked and started telling people what I had said, but I just laughed it off and acted like I didn't believe she was actually taking me seriously (even though I knew she was) and talked to these other folks. Since she kept it up for awhile, I did eventually remind her I was joking, let her know not to take the flippant words of strangers too seriously, and then she actually opened up to me all about her insecurity with herself--she's an HB8.5--and I was able to be there to encourage her to be her best self and not worry about what others thought about her until she got the "doggy dinner bowl" look in her eyes.
Somehow, after all of this, she ended up offering me her number.
2) NOSE
Last week I was at a concert and I approached a woman I had already spoken to briefly earlier in the night and let her know I liked her nose. I went on to say I thought she was Jewish and Italian (I'm Jewish) and she asked whether I was saying she had a big nose. So I said that I kind of was, but I liked it.
She got really offended, did the thing the other woman did by telling her friends and others, while I laughed it off. I bumped into her a few times later in the night, one time she didn't speak much to me, the next time she said that she didn't want to talk to me in front of her guy friend--who got stern-looking until I told him what I said to her and he laughed too.
Then later in the night I spoke to her again and she told me she wasn't mad (she actually was Jewish and Italian and said it just bugged her that she was so easy to figure out), pushed her breasts up against me to tell me this in my ear, and I saw her one more time before I left and said goodbye. I didn't go for a number close because I figured I had actually gone too far this time...
But I saw her a few nights later at another concert, her face lit up right when she saw me and she told me I had to buy her a drink to make up for the other night. I told her I didn't usually do that, but I would under these circumstances. We had a quick flirty, friendly chat and then I told her I needed to go back to my friends. I was working on another set that night, so I left it at that.
However, my town isn't that big, we saw each other twice in one week, chances are I'll see her again soon and she knows that. Now we'll see if I can take things anywhere. But no matter what, I still learned that it's possible to generate some attraction even after delivering a kind of harshly perceived (if not delivered) neg on a woman's physical appearance.
I think the lesson here is that you can go further than you'd think with negging, so long as you do it with good humor and then make sure to stick around or come back to make nice (without supplicating yourself)--push and pull. I'm not sure if this just means I was lucky enough to salvage a mistake and should've toned things down from the start, or it was going as far as I went that actually made things work.
Needless to say, I don't recommend any of the above, since a lot of what I was doing was basically damage control. And certainly don't recommend ever being mean to women. It just so happens that I never dreamed those minor negs could be taken so seriously. And once they were out, I certainly never thought I could bring things back from the brink.
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Castlemount
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