I've F*ckin HAD IT! Silence issue



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 11:21 pm 
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OMFG!!

Here's the thing: I went out last thursday with some mates of mine, and the same thing happens almost everytime lately...

When I was around with my friends, they never open. They simply dont have the guts to do so, or whatever. I have no problem whatsoever with opening, so instead of having an AFC night ill just do it and introduce them afterwards. Anyway, I opened this HB8 : ''Can I ask you a question, arent you a little too young to be in this club, last time i checked they didnt let 16yr olds in''. She started laughing rite away and asked me to take a better look. I took her hand and told her "spin around for me then", she laughed again and did a little spin. Every godddamn AFC tard was looking at me like im some kinda god or something.

Blablalba run some routines...STOP! What the fuck, I have nothing more to say??!! At some point, my conversations just DIE! What can I do? i play games talk about random shit, but then suddenly (this happens a LOT) i just run out of stuff to say. Even when having kino + LOTS of IOI's, this shit happens to me.

Guess what...i introduce my friend (he got me into the whole pua thing so whatever) and he makes out with her friend within 20 mins, and before that hes talking her head off, meanwhile im standing next to her friend with nothing to say.

Guys help me out here plz :(


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 12:52 am 
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I know how you feel bud! I have done the same thing sooo many times.. what helps me now is I keep a folded piece of paper with stuff to talk about. like where did you go to school?, what do you want to be when you grow up "built in neg", what is your favorite food?.. anything.. I will excuse myself to go the bathroom then look at the list and hopefully your wing will talk u up when your gone. I know it sounds soo AFC but its better than just standing there. talking all day long with random people will help you also. talk talk talk


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 2:55 pm 
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Thanks mate, ill keep that in mind....but its weird to "out of the blue"ask her whats your favourite food? U know what I mean, I kinda need some stuff to keep the convo going, even when talking I notice the conversation is going down the drain, i need to switch to a different topic. I guess I hang on to the subject too long or something. Anything else I can talk about?


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 9:03 pm 
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I am not sure that the talking is so much your problem, If your mate is kiss closing her friend and you are getting lots of kino maybe you should be moving to kiss close yourself. many things you can do for this. even using a joke such as "we can do better than them!" pointing to your friend and hers making out. you might want to isolate your target more as well it seems like the awkwardness of having your mate with her friend is causing some of the attention being removed from you.


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 Post subject: I feel your pain!!
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:08 am 
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I have been in that boat...just talking to a woman you're interested in, feelings are returned, and in the blink of an eye...you run out of things to say.

As far as what to do next...I'd say there are lots of options...one that I just came up with, that I will now have to field test if I can get the nerve...lol mention awkward silences, then when she starts to respond, move in to kiss...don't give her a chance to think about it. If she's giving IOIs, then odds are she won't object. It probably wouldn't hurt to be a reasonably good kisser too. haha

I think this could seriously work though. It demonstrates a couple things...adventurousness (is that a word), alpha behavior...if any of you try this before I get the chance, let me know how it works out...lol


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 10:34 pm 
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going caveman definitely can work and also can definitely can backfire. really search for the IOIs. If she has a few cocktails in her she will be more game seeing as they really loosen morals, put a glass of wine in to a girl and she would do a lot of things she usually wouldn't. I by no means think you should get a girl drunk to accomplish this, I by rule won't have sex with a drunk girl but the right buzz can help out.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:30 am 
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Your problem is that you hit a sticking point. You get caught up in A2 Female to Male Interest. So, transition into A3 Male to Female Interest. Start asking screening questions to find out what kind of girl she is. You don't have to talk her ear off. You can listen and comment. If you like what she saying give a SOI (Statement of Interest). Then move her to comfort location and progress from there.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:57 am 
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If your getting kino and IOI's then isolate and talk to her about what do you want to do when your older..normal questions,and if you keep getting IOI's ask"Do you want to kiss me?" and if she says yes then kiss her,if she pauses to think or says maybe,then say "lets find out" and kiss her,and if she says no then say"I didnt say you could,i was seeing if you wanted to.Goodluck


Megastream


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 7:32 am 
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Quote:
Your problem is that you hit a sticking point. You get caught up in A2 Female to Male Interest. So, transition into A3 Male to Female Interest. Start asking screening questions to find out what kind of girl she is. You don't have to talk her ear off. You can listen and comment. If you like what she saying give a SOI (Statement of Interest). Then move her to comfort location and progress from there.
Agree 100%. Great advice.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:16 am 
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one thing that i picked up is to randomly laugh, she will say whats so funny? then bring up a funny story that happened to you or a buddy, one i use is oh sorry, but have you ever done something funny to a friend who is basically blacked out from drinking? Her :blah. well this one time one of my buddies passed out, so of-course like the good friend i am.. i get a few of my friends to start coloring on him, you know the usual. I decided that that wasnt enough so we duck taped his legs together, probably one of the funniest things i have seen in my life. that will get something started, guaranteed


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 12:28 am 
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Good advice in the above posts. Don't forget do build kino early. I find that if sparks are there and convo starts to stall out, It's time that she picks up the slack. Ask open ended questions to get her talking.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 2:44 am 
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yeah ask open ended questions, but whats really important is build a FALSE TIME CONSTRAINT, so you can leave for like 10-15 minutes to think of more ways to escalate, or you can pretend "something suddenly came up" (make sure your buddies know your making this up) so they don't flip out and call you out

example: (look at your phone and pretend it says something) oh hey i gotta run for 10-15 mins, my little sister is in the middle of nowhere, apperently some ass dumped her off when they were on a date, i gotta go pick her up, ill catch you in a half and you better not be drunk and wasted or ill have to drive you home too (in a joking way)

i dunno i could be wrong, but id try that and see where it goes


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 6:07 pm 
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If you can't hold your own interest, you can't expect to hold hers. If you have been talking to her for awhile and she makes no attempt to fill the silence and keep the conversation alive, it may mean that she is not interested. In some cases, its best to eject rather then force something that just isn't there.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 11:30 pm 
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If out in a bar/club, I tend to, if things tail off, ask her to request a song/put on jukebox.

This can lead to a number of things:

1) Isolation
2) Neg (Depending on choice)
3) DHV (i saw this band at x and they were ace etc)
4) Kino (Dancing to said song)

Helps advance things if a bit stuck.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 11:14 pm 
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Are you stacking forward on your stories? This can help you continue to have things to talk about. There are a few ways to get past this:

1) Memorize more material
2) Stack your stories forward like in a real conversation.
3) If you're in A3, ask her qualifying questions and let her talk for a bit. "What are 3 qualities that would make me want to get to know you?"
4) Make a cheat sheet and excuse yourself to check it
5) Be a human instead of a robot

I really think you need to do some more work on your sense of worth. I had this problem when I was first starting out. When I ran out of material, I couldn't think of anything else to say. As long as you have the model of Attraction, then Comfort, then Seduction and know what goes into each of those stages, it doesn't really matter what you say as long as you tailor it to the model. I found it helpful to talk about my REAL life instead of using canned material from someone else's life. Sure, it helps to think through your stories before going out (and it becomes your OWN canned material), but talking about REAL parts of your life will make you feel more comfortable in a conversation.

You are worthy of these HB8's you are talking to. Just really know and feel that and you will improve dramatically.


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