one of my exes heard on facebook that I was going through a divorce and contacted me. I immediately got her phone number from facebook. Apparently she claims she is going through a divorce also.


a few days ago i scheduled us to meet up for coffee today through texting. I didn't contact her first but at like 11:14 she sends me this text:

her: Can we meet up for lunch instead
her: I'm starving!

(14 MINS later)

me: yeah, lets do it
me: what are you in the mood for


her: names resturant.

me: Okay, I just got out of the shower what time 12:30? or 12
her: I gotta get ready but can be ready in 20 minutes! so 12

me: Okay cool see you there..


We meet up and the place is closed so we go to another place to eat.

We eat, and she laughs alot, I practice the eye contact thing and she seemed to enjoy this but had trouble holding eye contact sometimes, until she put on her sunglasses.

After lunch, I drove her back to her car but we were talking in the car the whole time and she asked if we could drive around and keep talking and catching up (old friends who I dated before) so I did.

then this:

her: bitching about her husband and how he is indecisive and how she needs a real manly man..

me: are you two even having sex?

her: no, we haven't in 5 months! and before that we havent in a year.

me: wow I couldn't do that! thats the one thing that was good about my marriage!

her: I know I hate it, i think he might be gay but he wants to stay together just to keep up appearances and for our kids, i've asked him if he was gay before but he didn't really answer.. but he just doesn't want me to leave and is really needy.

me: Well think about it like this, it sounds like you're probably the best he is ever going to get and you can't really blame him for being so clingy, some guys are just like that... you know I mean, i'm not but they say there's someone for everyone (MASSIVE BF DESTOYER!)

her: no he needs to go fuck some other guy or something!

lol we keep driving and she wants to go look at some of the houses. I asked if she wanted to come over to swim and she said no she didn't have a baithing suit, and I said well just come over and hang out and she was like noo.. in a not to demanding way. - ASD i failed to destroy

so we kept driving and went to coffee shop to hang out, we hung out there for about an hour then she had to get home because her ex needed to leave and she had to watch the kids.

all in all I think I performed well, we had a good time, she laughed alot and mentioned how I have a big d*ck a couple of times (as we have dated in the past) but for some reason I couldn't clear the ASD.. give me a break its been awhile!


we hung out for about 3 hours total and it was a good time if nothing else but i want to fuck her.. she gave me a hug before she left. Its been an hour and i HAVE NOT TEXTED her yet.

My plan of action:

Wait a day or two then text her again and find out if she wants to come over this next weekend and maybe swim or hang out.

Then after she says yes, about halfway through the week i'll text her again with the "dream routine" ask me about the dream routine if you don't know what it is.

Or maybe if I can just get her to come over and swim it won't be much of a push to get her to fvck I think...

YOUR THOUGHTS?!?!?!? PLS HELP she's a hb8

She seemed to be giving you some pretty big hints but you don't appear to be aware of them and you aren't escalating much.

If she comes over for a swim, she isn't really coming over for a swim. She knows she'll be half-naked and that she will have to change (either before or after the swim), which is an opportunity for something to "just happen" so she can avoid the society-trained slut guilt or the same judgment from her friends. But it should probably be something + a swim so that it is not obvious (because of the slut response), and so you have a chance to escalate and set a sexual tone so that, again, she can tell her friends (and herself) "it just happened."

There's also a chance she's just good at flirting and she's using you as a friend-who-buys-her-stuff and who she can vent to about her current male companion, with no intention of hooking up. She told you what she wants, a real manly man, but is that how you've acted?

Thanks for the response.. Actually, I did not pay for a single thing for her. It was her birthday this weekend and I must admit i offered to buy her lunch because of that but she INSISTED that I not buy it for her and the same thing at the coffee house..

She mentioned that it wasn't MY personality and that I'm way different than her husband. I also said something along the lines of "some guys are just pussies" while talking to her and she laughed..



UPDATE:

Later that night she text messaged me again and asked what shows I like, what movies I like and the following:


Her: So you're not watching tv, what r u doing right now? What do you do at night.

Me: Well I was on the computer a little while ago but presently I'm laying down texting you and a couple other people

Me: Lol come over and we will talk about what I do at night

Her: Hahahaha! That made me giggle

Her: I'm in my jammies getting ready to go to night night!

Me: I bet you could sleep great here

Her: Knock it off! Haha!

Me: Ok ok. I'm just kidding but you do look great im just saying, your man is passing something up he shouldn't

Her: I look great with clothes on!

Me: I'm sure you still look great with them on the floor

Her: Yeah sure I do, in the dark!

(I'm not sure what the hell she's talking about she looks great)

Me: Anyway next time we meet up you can come by and see where I live in a completely non sexual way its not too bad here!

Her: Haha!

Her: Okay!

Her: A completely non sexual way! Hahaha!

Me: Of course

Her: It was good to see you!! You're funny! you make me laugh!

Me: I promise I wouldn't try to get you to do anything you didn't already want to do in the first place!!

Me: Good laughing is healthy Have a good night!! sleep tight

Her: I know!!! YOU TOO!!!


I haven't texted her at all today, i'm considering doing it again tonight or tomorrow, what do you think??

Also, this is obviously a critical junction and I don't want to blow it. Part of me tells me to message her tonight the other part says keep waiting until tomorrow. but there are also other guys after her...

Sounds like you're doing a pretty good job. If you do the dream routine, you should post how it goes!

You said you weren't needy so don't show it!

Also, this is obviously a critical junction and I don't want to blow it. Part of me tells me to message her tonight the other part says keep waiting until tomorrow. but there are also other guys after her...

You're right Santa!! Tomorrow it is. One day would be way to early to do the dream routine!! It might even creep her out ("wow, he had a dream about me that same night??")


Plus that will give me a good opener.

If she texts me tonight I think It would be best to text back but to be short with her and distant so she starts thinking "WHY don't I have his attention!!! I've got to get his attention!"

Update:

She just texted me (Its 10pm)

Her: Don't you have something to say to me today?

It would be wrong to neg her or show too much disinterest so I'm going to wait until tomorrow morning and say "hi beautiful".

I'll explain that I had my phone on silent and didn't see her message.

This will be her reward for attempting to contact me tonight. because she needs to be positively reinforced. However I don't think I should say anything back to her, or maybe I SHOULD? lol this whole texting game isn't easy.

Update.

I feel that waiting until tomorrow would be too much of a neg. I also have kinda felt like all night one of us was waiting for the other to text. She has just displayed that she has been waiting for me to text wanting me to contact her..


Now she has just made herself vulnerable to me at this critical juncture, she knows its critical too... she's revealed that she was waiting on me to text her and now she's facing a possible rejection lol I can just feel her heart pumping, checking her phone NEEDING contact from me... why hasn't he texted me back yet, did I say something wrong last night....

It's almost fun..

But she hasn't gotten that contact from me yet maybe her hands are sweating and she's checked her phone a few times but still no contact.. Folks pay attention this is a play by play scenario here

So here's my solution, and it could change so I'll give you an update tomorrow.

I've got 2 good options in my mind:

1) I'm thinking I'll wait a full hour and contact her with "hi beautiful"

2) I'll wait until tomorrow morning to contact her with "hi beautiful"


Both of these options will relieve her anxiety while at the same time leave her wondering what took me so long to respond. When she asks what took so long I might simply say "less history, more mystery lol "

That could lead her to think whatever she wants in her mind, and most women will think "why doesn't he want to tell me, could it be another woman, maybe? i wonder who, what does she look like, does she look better than me, I better try harder to get his undivided attention"




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You should stop giving advice when u need it.

To the op: Encouraging you wansn't the best thing to do from this guy as your txts are full of neediness and afcness i won't even bother explaining to you.

Your approach would only get u in bed with her if she's old

I'm sorry for not putting much input advice but I just won't cause i have to sleep

Btw you can still game other girls at the same time you know that right? and i hope u do
Good luck anyway

Sigh, I know guys I'm doing my best here, i've been married 3 years its not easy getting back into it.

Here's what happened:


Her: Don't you have something to say to me tonight

After 45 minutes I responded




Me: Hi beautiful

Her: No.
Her. Wrong

(She wanted me to say happy birthday)

Me: How are you?
Her: You going to night night?
Her: Not that either...
Me: No, i'm about to take a shower though
Me: Come over

Me: LOL?
Me: Are you going to sleep?
Her: I'm at my moms right now, leaving in 10
Me: Come by
Her: Ooooookkkaaaayyyy


Me: Fuck ya i'm getting in the shower I'll text you in a sec
Her: Can't we get a beer?
Me Yupp.. I'll text u in just a sec..

Her: Ok i'm coming from (our home town)
Me: Bar or do you want to drink here?

Her: Eh don't care!
Her: I'm leaving
Me: gives her directions

I come outside when she gets here and then we go get some beer. She was VERY VERY VERY nervous! I tried to put her at ease but then she kept projecting saying "why are you being weird" and I was just like, I dunno what your talking about.

While we were driving i put my hand on her leg while we were talking and after a little while she said "your getting kinda touchy feely aren't ya?" and I was like "yeah i do that sometimes (thinking WTF? Iits midnight?)

Then she says she doesn't want any beer!

Okay so I get some beer and have a few anyway then bring her back to my apt.

She is very very nervous the whole time, we reminis and I tried several times to move in but she just wasn't having it she was like "I'm getting some gum but not so we can kiss"

I don't get it, we hung out until 130 talking and it went okay but then she was like I gotta get home, I told her she didn't have to leave but she said "i have to get up with my kids tomorrow morning"

She asked me to pop her back which was great because she was giving me permission to wrap my arms around her, etc right before she left and she gave me a hug.

But I think she is flaking out??

I did the cube routine on her...


she laughed and had fun then texted me after she left "what did the color of the cube have to do with it?"

And I texted back "it was very important"

her: why

Me: NO ANSWER



God I had her in my apt but couldn't fucking close!!?!?! I don't get it god damn.. she flaked out on me

I knew it you were older

Doooooooooon't worry man the girl loves you and apperently she doesn't have a lot of fun guys like you arround.

The thing is right. This girl is looking for something more and is not yet ready to sleep with you cause she doesn't want you to think she's easy and want you to stick arround.

Now what u need to do is just keep what you're doing. At first I thought it's not very good but considered your situation and ur age it's quite caliborated so you should be ok.

Sooner or later you'll end up sleeping with her and I believe u don't want serious relationship with her. When that moment comes just tell her and she'll be ok with that don't you worry.

If you need any more help let me know

Thanks brother, I'm 28 btw ... 28 and was married for 3 years and now 1 month out of a divorce.

Update:

We texted back and forth later that night and I told her she didn't have to be nervous or shy and she said

her: I'm not nervous, or shy, just emotionally damaged

*She's going through a divorce also*

her: I wish I could get him out of my head and just be a whore and fuck whoever but I can't my head won't let me



I'll move her to the back burner, she needs to be negged or at least shown that I'm talking to other women also.

I know she checks my facebook so it wouldn't hurt to have a drop dead beautiful woman post me on there with something like "when are you coming over?!?!?"