| Hi all, just wanted to share a concept I’ve used to great effect in pick up. Psychology aficionados’ may already be familiar with it but for everyone else it’s termed ‘The Franklin effect’, so named after the great American statesman who observed the phenomena over two hundred years ago. The short story is that Franklin sought to gain the friendship of a bitter rival but instead of offering him gifts / compliments etc to placate him, he used a different tact. He asked to borrow a rare book he knew the other man to have, promising to return it a few days later. The man happily obliged and both men became good friends.
The Franklin Effect has since been studied and appears to be a highly reliable and predictable way of getting rapport with another person compared with the ‘Reciprocity Principle’ (I scratch your back, you scratch mine).
The fancy name for it is ‘cognitive dissonance’ or the ‘consistency principle’. Basically this means human beings, once having taken a step, no matter how seemingly small or trivial towards a certain outcome, will feel compelled to take further steps in the same direction until that outcome is realised. Like all the most effective persuasion methods, it happens entirely subconsciously.
Now I know you’re wondering what the hell this has to do with pick-up so let me elaborate. Think how many opportunities this presents for approaches and openers. Here’s a few I’ve used;
(In the bar/club) “Hey, I lost my straw, can I have yours?”
“Can you watch my drink for me while I go smoke / dance / whatever?”
“My phones batteries are dead, I really need to send a text, can I use yours?”
(At work, college, school etc) “My pen broke, can I use yours?”
“Can you grab me a coffee/coke/water? I really need to wait on a call”
I’m sure you can think of thousands of examples that apply to almost any social setting. Just start by asking a tiny favour, one so small that it’s hard to turn down. Not many women would refuse a straw.
It’s the ideal opener when you’re short on material and has minimal approach fear. If you get shot down its not like you’ve put your heart on the line and had it crushed.
Go out and try it, and as always love to hear your thoughts.
Benedict Tyler
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CHAT