Hey All,

So here is my short story. First of I am 25 and still have my V card. I am the guy who gets opportunities and is too shy, the guy who does not pick-up on the opportunities. (I would like to kick myself in the ass sometime, if I could read).

Okay, so I have signed up for salsa class in Nov-Dec. First class, I was attracted to this 28 year old, i liked the way she moved. On the third class I have let myself go and started thinking naughty thoughts about her while dancing. My brain just switched over. Not a good thing while salsa dancing, cause I can only do one thing at a time . She knew exactly why I froze up, she laughed and then I laughed. We continued dancing. Next class I get her phone number, while saying goodbye in the elevator. I was a nervous wreck, as I never even got a girls number. I frigging went the wrong direction in the elevator, my mind just reset. She seemed disappointed as she was walking away.

As it turns out, I even punched in the number incorrectly so I was not able to call her that week on Friday to arrange plans. Next class She taps me on the shoulder and looks pissed that I did not call her, I told her what happened, fixed the number issue. I called her during the week and we arranged to go salsa dancing. We met on location, she came late so I started to dance with another girl. (there is a lesson before). Half way through we get together do some dancing, I buy her a drink. I actually left her at the club, because I was going to a b.day party. I was not man enough to take her with me, I am not that socially savvy yet. She even asked me as I am leaving her "so, where is this club". I just let her go.

Okay it gets worse, lol. The next class she asks me for coffee and we go to star bucks. I try to impress her by talking about stories that bulid me up, I told her way too much. Should of been interested instead of interesting. She thanks me for the coffee (which I found weird), we hug and split.

I call her to meet again. She tries to rearrange her schedule at work to make it work so we can go salsa dancing. When setting up to meet, she says (me and my friends always meet at the mall), I found that strange. Anyway we do meet in the mall and I drive to the salsa club. I am nervous while going there. Again first time having a girl in the car. lol, I'm laughing at myself here. She even comments about my nervousness. We have a blast dancing, its really hard not to have a good time while salsa dancing.

Here is the meat of this lengthy thread, you will laugh or cry, or both. The salsa music stops at one point, and club music comes one. We begin to flirt on the dance floor. I was dancing with three feet, face to face with her, and I pushed her away slightly as she was rubbing against my wood. Following that we sit back down, as I am now tired. We make very little small talk, and somewhere in there she says "whatever you want to do". So I decided to go home. We both had a great time. Here is the kicker. I drive her back to where we originally met. I tell her to go warm up her car, she does. Then comes back and closes the door. I wanted to kiss her, but got really uncomfortable as I did not know how to go about it. Then I tell her, drum-roll, get-out. She snaps back, so now its get out?! As she is about to leave, she gives me a peck on the cheek. And I drive off.

I called her the next day to apologize for weirding her out. She says she was not weirded out. I did not talk to her for 2 weeks after that. It was the Christmas holidays, she calls me saying. Its **** from salsa, if you do not remember, just calling to see how you are doing and how your holidays were, etc. I do not call her back.

Now I signed up to a different level salsa class, as the one she will be taking was sold out. But I had to take a make-up class at her location. When I say her, I gave her a big smile, and she smiled back. We hugged hello, but I could not even talk to her properly. I think I put her on a pedestal at this point. I asked her in a mumbling way if she would like to go dancing on Friday, she says she has to work.

Now, omg, this is the longest thread ever. I am sorry, but I need to get this out of my system. I will be seeing her in another make-up class this Monday and I don't even know if she just wanted to be friends or if there was any mutual attraction? How should I act the next time I see her? Should I just move on? Its hard to be friends with her, as I find her attractive. Or am I blowing off a female friend who I can learn from?

Man I do not even like writing that last part, really makes me feel like a AFC. I think I need to go after other girls to get her off my mind.

dam..shes definitely interested.

man, try ross jeffrie's "unstoppable confidence" audio tapes. i downloaded mine using torrents on the internet.

yeah definitely agree with hyphee, she is interested. dude i felt really bad for you reading that, I used to be the same with girls I liked a few years back.

I haven't seen people on here advocate using alcohol that much, but it worked for me. Just having 1 or 2 bottles of beer before you meet up in the evenings can get rid of those self conscious nerves. And next time you have one of those moments when you want to kiss her: "can I ask you a question..." PAUSE, eye contact "its an important one" pause " what would you do if I kissed you right now" pause, but don't wait for an answer, just go for it.

I hope this helps bro.

Hey thanks for the responses, nice to hear she was interested. But I am left here in limbo, cause I did not end anything with her, I just left it drift. It was a nothing ending. I basically do not know where I stand with her, and its bugging the shit out of me.

I will be seeing her tomorrow. Should I tell her the truth of what happened? Or just move on? I feel like I fuk'd it up, but I want to hear it from her. Give me piece of mind.. hah... The thing I do not like about all this is that I basically fell for her way to deep, I would have her on my mind way too much, even now.

So telling her the truth would be " You are a very attractive girl, and I have a thing for you, but I am also losing my mind and becoming too attached". Even though that is the truth I have some feeling that it would not be a good thing to say. What you think?

I just went skiing and had a blast with two friends, but memories of this girl still in my mind. How do I end this repetitive thoughts of her? I know I am babbling a bit here. I would like to bed her, but I think I feel threatened that I will fall for her or something. I think I need to date more people. I find I learn lots about myself through people.

Cheers

She was definitely interested in you... she was not so subtly THROWING herself at you!
When she makes blatant physical come ons and says whatever you want she is trying to inspire you to lead, only this time off the dance floor instead of on. Girls speak their true desires through body language, and placing themselves in situations that allow you to make moves and follow through.
Think about this.. when she was rubbing your wood, and says "whatever you want to do" then you decide to go home.. she was SCREAMING at you "take me home with you" and from what I can tell, you didn't.
She's not weirded out man, you are. She's dissapointed that she was rejected by the cute guy she thought was interested.
At this point she may decide to cut her losses and spare her ego by taming her interaction with you. Think about what it's like not to get called back, to get the cheek when you go for the kiss (the equivalent being you NOT kissing her when she was sending you blatant yes vibes), to be told to get out of the car at the end of the night!? (as many aspiring pua's know it sucks to think you're getting somewhere, then get rejected several times, even if not blatantly)

Some far better responses would've been to call her back and invite her out to grab a quick bite to eat before going salsa dancing together. When she was rubbing on your wood, give her a hug and make her feel warm and appreciated and look in her eyes strongly and gently before resuming flirting/dancing normally and like nothing was any different. This indicates to her that you recognize her sexual desire for you and can appreciate it throughly without losing control of herself (allowing her to trust you with her sexuality). Dance with her, dance with other girls, compliment her on how beautiful it was to watch one of her really good dances, then dance with everyone some more. Then on the way home hold her hand and go for the kiss.

In summary, there was mutual attraction, but she let hers flow while you resisted yours (your desire is your friend, and your desire is what is attractive about you. don't disown it!) and unintentionally rejected her.

At this point, you can add her to your social circle as a dancer friend, or you can try again to have something happen. I wonder if she will be more guarded (as she already seems to be when she didn't give you a counteroffer on dancing Friday after she had to work), but truly, the only way to find out is to go for it and see what happens.

When you come to a fork in the road... take it. It matters less what you choose, and more simply that you choose something and go for it with gusto. Friend or lover, make the separation, and commitment to move forward in one direction or the other. To her, your ambiguity will just feel sucky and leave her not knowing what to do. Your choice and direction will let her know what you want, and then it is her choice to either accept or not accept that. Either way, you are leading, the same as in dance.

Think of her feelings, as a human being and fellow dancer. What is going on in her head, in her world, take a step out of your own thoughts to really recognize the human being standing in front of you. Get out of your head and into the dance!

I would present yourself really mildly when you see her. Be really sweet and polite, almost apologetic, but not flirty or physically playful. This may not get you laid with her, but I think it is the best chance to keep the relationship on ice for a little bit if you're going to keep seeing her. You're not going to be able to act comfortably around her until you can get out and game some other girls at a club or something. Once you're not so set on this one girl, it'll be easier to call her on a night when you're feeling "on" (in state for you RSD kids) and you'll probably end up handling it well yourself.