BACKGROUND---
Well firstly, I would like to introduce my self. My name is nth and from what I've read at Bristol lair and other places, I believe that I am a natural player. But, even with that said I understand that there are a few areas’ I need to tighten up. For example, I've been able to probably 40% of the time #close and *close since high school (I’m 21 now) but my problem always ended up being creating enough attraction to "keep" a lady around. After reading countless articles and forum topics I still don't truly understand "shit test", "active disinterest”, and "being the prize". Which brings me to a recent problem....

PROBLEM---
Well I sorta made my work place my playground to try all types of PU techniques and my own techniques (dunno if that's a great idea seeing that I sorta got a reputation of fucking a lot of the ladies up there, but it isn't true...not yet at least but it doesn't seem to hinder me, infact I think it helps me...plus it is only like hb8's and up ).
But I recently came across a HB9. I really never talked to her often but about two weeks ago we got into a conversation kept it up and I know there is attraction. So about 5 days ago I asked her to go to lunch with me and she wanted to go, but she said I had to pay. I didn't have time to go to lunch anyway with her, I just wanted to see if she'd be willing so I said something like not today but why should I pay. I forgot what she said that first time but I remember feeling like she wanted me to take charge (and I for damn sure was anyway).

But today I finally see her again before she leaves work, and I say after a little small talk
nth:"So what’s up with that lunch date thingy?"
hb9:"If we are going to lunch you gotta pay"
nth:"Oh yeah, I forgot about that"
hb9: "Yeah, if you wanna go to lunch with me you gotta pay, I'm high maintenance"
nth:"Well, I'll work on that, but I’m about to go to the bathroom talk to you later"

*Note it was a little more playful, and she laughed when I said yeah I'll work on that...

But pretty much I'm not sure how to approach the situation "correctly" if you must say. Like I said I have about a 40% "success rate" but I’m currently diving into a more higher grade hb's and hopefully "a lot" more anyway (so my success rate will probably drop). I want to figure this out myself so I will tell you how I planned on furthering this.
Pretty much the next time I see her, I planed on telling her in some way that I'm not taking her out, infact I’m through trying to hang with you if you feel you are high maintenance. How about I teach you to live more humble, you know going to the park, watching a free movie on a premium channel, yadda yadda yadda now before you say something like freeze her out or something about not paying her attention I’d like to say I already don't. I've seen her a couple of times in the last couple of weeks and didn't say much. And plus I don't see her that often anyway. But if that'll work I’ll try.

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My only drive in life is "Just do it"

i would have returned it like this

hb9: "Yeah, if you wanna go to lunch with me you gotta pay, I'm high maintenance"
xxicexx: oh yeah (little laugh)...well i guess that makes two of us. i'll tell you what, i WILL pay for your lunch, but i expect the same in return

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I'd rather go out swinging than strike out looking.
A lifestyle is a terrible thing to waste.
What I say when I see her is what I'll say.

Ill pay for you, you pay for me. We can see who runs up the more costly bill.

Her : If we are having lunch, you have to pay...
You : So how does dinner sound?




Seriously though, if she keeps saying you have to pay, just don't take her to the restauraunt. Circumvent the problem by taking her to a bar IMO.

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If i'm being a keyboard jockey, flame me.
If i'm being an ass, flame me.
If i'm plain wrong, flame me.
Its called -constructive criticism-

this is my answer (and also for give me a drink):

Satyr: No, because you didn't ask right.
HBX: questionblabla, please sir.
and there is a follow up routine but i havn't tested it yet

First off, doing PUA in the workplace is a REALLY BAD IDEA. It opens you up to sexual harassment accusations, and you ruin the risk of getting fired. All you need is ONE jealous, pissed off co-worker to file a report, and your ass is out the door.

As for the question:

NEVER PAY.

A PUA never buys drinks for a woman.

The answer I would have given would have been.

"Tell you what. You get the meal this time, I'll pick up the tab next time."

When she said she was high maintenance, the reply would be, "see, we'd never work out. I'm too high maintenance for you."

I also use lines like: "No, no, no. Women take ME to lunch. But don't expect anything. I'm not cheap or easy, so don't expect to get lucky. You need to take me out, and bring me flowers. I need to be romanced...

Turn it AROUND!

Alright, everyone is saying "No, don't pay, PUAs don't pay"... but I don't agree with this.

Master PUAs don't pay. They can bounce women around like no ones business. However, as you've admitted, you are NOT a master pick PUA.

First of all, lunches are deadly. Its the typical dinner date. Boy takes girl to dinner and desert, pays, drops her off home, gives her the good night kiss. Its ingrained into everyones had when their 8 and see that crap in TV show/movies. In the future, you should avoid making dinner dates unless you are cooking it at your place. Ask her to meet you at a coffee shop or bar or something instead - and don't ask "Do you wanna get some coffee?", just say "Lets meet at X coffee shop". The former implies you will be buying something, while the later makes no such assumptions - hell, you could just be asking her to meet you there to go else where, for all she knows.

At this point, you're pretty screwed. Already, by answering 'I'll work on that', you've implied that you've agreed on her conditions. Even if you try to say 'Oh I'm high maintainance too', its still been set. About the best you could do is maybe have her buy your lunch and you buy hers.

Just remember - the object of PUAs is to pick up the woman - not to 'not pay'. Sometimes your not on the ball. Its 1 lunch - is the extra $8-$9 for her lunch really not worth getting the woman? That guideline was put into place because the usual AFC goes to a bar and tries to buy his way to sex, spending $25 and ending up with nothing, night after night, until it works. If you think shes genuinely digging you, and since you've already blown it, then a lunch is not much to chalk up to a learning experience.

close i like this

as for not paying i think thats balls i would pay
but i would hold her to it

i want to pick her up not look like a stinge

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Gammbit

this is a sticky situation. . .

The whole "Don't pay" thing was invented to set yourself apart from the AFC's and to avoid women who take advantage of AFC's for free drinks, dinners etc. . .

It sounds you've already built some comfort with her, but she did DLV you by demanding that you pay, and you kind of agreed. I think the best thing to do is plan to go to lunch somewhere and call her that morning and say "hey, I'm going to so and so to eat, you should come meet me," that way you are maintaining control of the situation and not backing out of your promise. Make sure you are bringing some work with you, or you're reading an interesting book as a conversation peice, that way you're not sitting a lunch by yourself, doing nothing but waiting for her and looking like a fool. Remember, you are a super busy man, and she is lucky to get this time with you at lunch.