My version:
Them: "What school you goto?/Where do you work?/etc"

YOU: "School for me has been ruff, ive been in and out a bunch of times. I learned alot in school but the funny thing is the most important stuff wasnt stuff the school offered in courses. I love school, socially speaking, but i constantly found myself at the end of the semester with a low gpa and too many friends. I also had a bad stint with drugs...but im working on getting my life back together, i plan on going back to school, drug free, and to pursue either psychology or something media related. I ended up learning from all this that its great to have fun, but sometimes working towards goals like a degree means putting fun on the back burner for a bit so that you can have more fun later."

The nice thing about this is it will allow you to afterwards discuss psychology, socil dynamics, media proffessions, or the college experience...alot of freedom for you to control the direction of the convo. Take the experiences in your life, find the positive value in them (you had some i just had to dig for you to give it to me), and put it in a form that is intresting and intrigueing.

As a side note man, im glad to hear your considering going back...and despite sounding like a concerned parent...ill just say i think you know what you have to do this time around, your fortunate to have a 5th chance...a few years of your life digging in and doing the right thing will allow you to enjoy your life all that much more for many more years after.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

you're the man Ka, thanks a lot. that sounds good i should've been putting it that way all along haha. cheers buddy, and for the advice.

I've been thinking about these kind of DHV stories recently and I've been struggling a little to get them down... and also not make them sound like I'm bragging... I'm gonna write them down here and would appreciate a bit of feedback...

So what do you do/ where do you work?

"I work for <large, well know British plc>... I'm really enjoying the work I'm doing at the moment but even when it gets dull its still great knowing I work for such a good name. I'll always remember when I was young, about 5, my dad was made redundant and it was a real stressful time for our family. I suppose as a result, I always wanted to work for a large/successful company so I not only had that security but also all the opportunities to take advantage of.

As it turns out its not all that secure cos they've just announced redundancies ... but i'm far too important to get rid of What about yourself .. what did you you wanna be when you were little? (or stack to wherever the convo goes)

Any additional ideas?

Oh and Loco stick out the Uni stuff... I dropped out on my course but dragged myself back in... one of the best moves Ii ever made.

My version:
YOU: "Well its intresting how people go in such extreme opposites, or try to, then thier parents. I remember growing up my dad was made redundant and it was really stressful on the family. I know it wasnt his fault, but i guess i decided id never be in that position. I worked hard in school and now i have a job with (comapny) doing (position).

I really enjoy my work, which i guess not many people get to say. Its afforded me the chance to live the life i want to live...being social and getting to enjoy life. Its funny too because people say there is not such thing as job security, but even though (comapny) has announced redundancies...i guess im too important to let go.

All in all i learned a good lesson from my father, and i get to enjoy life now and make the most of it because of it."

BTW let me point out that your story, the way you told it wasnt bad at all. I just reorganized it to make it flow a little better. I had to re-read your post about 3 times to figure out what being made redundant meant...but i hope i figured it out and re-used it right.

Also do not ask them about themselves...if your not into like comfort building then you shouldnt be asking these boring questions like "what do you do?". After your done your story she may offer you that info without you asking, which is fine, if she doesnt just talk about the next thing you feel like talking about.

Instead if you feel the need to ask them a question, tell them since you gave them one example of how you do an opposite of what your parents did, they should recipricate and tell you one of thiers.

Hope this helps.

**Loco, glad i could help man...take this process and apply it to all the little memoreis and such and before you know it youll have a libary of DHV material.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

Well I attended a year at university and found out it wasn't for me. I didn't enjoy all the essays I then went to Siast and started appprenticing for carpentry I've completed 3 of the 4 years and I enjoy it because i use my hands lots. After i get my Journeyman Status I'm going to go to firefighting school or Parmedics schoool what ever happens first my ultimate goal is to become a firefighter and do carpentry on the side!

My version: "You know i started going to College and realized that it was ok, but what im really good at is working with my hands. I took up an aprenticeship in carpentery and it was just like a calling, it came so naturally to me. I've completed 3 of the 4 years and I cant wait to finish, as soon as im done ima get into firefighting. While i love carpentry my ultimate goal is to become a firefighter and do carpentry on the side. I just want to be able to do something that not only can afford me the lifestyle i want to live, but helps others too."

Really good goals to have man, and just remember its all about story telling. Fill in the details with emotions and feelings. Good luck.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

thanks man! you've helped out alot i now understand the story telling part

Great post bro...I just read it and im gonna take your advice and think of some stories that have happened to me... I will do my best to make them interesting. I may need some help, i will let you know if I do...Thanks

Glad i could help guys. Feel free to ask if you have questions and i will try my best to help.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

I love anything that deals with "developing" and not "memorizing"

Yea thats the best part to this method, all the "material" is already in your head. Its just a matter of peicing it together, adding in some extra's, and telling it in an intresting way. Essentially its just story telling, and learning how to take those stories and tell them better.

Im a process person, i guess thats why math and science have been my strong suites. Im good at learning a process or procedure and then applying it dynamiclly to a situation or problem.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

hows this story:
first of all i would ask her if she likes traveling
then i would say:
i love traveling! since i was a little boy, i used to travel alot with my father to many many exotic places. oh yeah, Once, we flew over malaysia and took a boat to this little island called pegang right, its about a 16 hour trip to get there, pratically half-dead if you can imagine. the place was absolute beauty. imagine gorgoues beaches with palm trees, crystal clear water and fresh coconut on the side, it was like an excusive area as it wasnt so cluttered with so many people like you do here. but, the best thing is.. was when i went suba diving there, soon as i hit the warm, cyrstal clear water, the whole impact of swimming with all sorts if colourful fishes was just unbeleavable.


i dont no if the story is slightly OTT, but you know you wana try and lighten up the conversation

Ace not only is the material here good as a foundation, but i see it haveing huge potential as a NLP routine. I imagine it as you haveing the chick maybe close her eyes and having her imagine the descriptives you whisper to her. I see soo much potential here that i cannot answer it right away.

Doc is the most knowledgeable in NLP that i know, so im gonna work with him on creating a story with NLP incorporated into it. It may take a bit but ill get the story up for you. Im still in Nashville and of course Doc's not just sitting around waiting for me to ask him NLP questions.

Hang in there ill get back to it.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

yah that sounds good so far mate. i dont know about doing a NLP, just seems bit of a mission to pull off. probably have to fuck it up a few times to get that story spot on. but i guess when i do get it right, it will blow the girls head off(Literally)...

hey ka,

damn... i cant believe i've never thought about having DHV stories ready for the normal questions. great post here.

for the question: "what do you do/school"

i'm currently a mechanical engineering student at UW in seattle. i moved out here from virginia bech for the program. i love taking problems and breaking them down and solving them, but i dont think engineering is what i want to do when i graduate in december. i like taking chances, like moving out here 3000 miles from home, i'm trying to start a clothing company with my two brothers, one older one younger. i want to have a career in order to live the life i want, not live my career, you know? i'm passionate about travel, been to over 10 maybe 15 countries.

thanks for your help