Hey all, I'll try and make this as brief as possible but it does require some explanation because of the unique nature of the situation.

First of all, on Jan. 4th, I was shot in the back by a gang. It wont let me post the link but suffice it to say I was jumped by 4 armed thugs who kidnapped me, put me in my SUV in the middle of the back seat, stuck a sawed-off shotgun in my mouth, punched me 6 or 8 times, drove me to a field, made me strip naked in freezing weather, shot me in the back and drove off in my vehicle, leaving me in the field to die. As they got in my SUV I got up and ran (with a bullet in my hip - missed my spine literally by less than half an inch). I saw that the road they would take would have them driving parallel to where I was running so when they pulled around an abandoned building out of sight, I actually turned around, doubled back, so I was watching them drive off from behind and sure enough, the punks had their guns sticking out the window, looking to shoot at me but I outsmarted them since I had the chance. I ran to the nearest house I could find with a light on inside and they called 911.

OK, there is a very attractive deputy involved. I am 40 and was working as a pizza delivery person because I'm in the middle of a career change and going to school for Nuclear Medicine. The first time I met this lady cop, Jody, she was holding a meeting with us all at the store giving tips on safety because of gang activity. It turns out in my situation it wouldn't have mattered because it was a planned set-up. Jody got the call and was in the Emergency Room shortly after I arrived, so suffice it to say she HAS seen me at my worst!

Over the last 6 weeks or so, we've been communicating a LOT via text messages probably 4-5 days a week, sometimes for 30 mins to an hour each time. She suggested we go to the shooting range when I'm healed up enough, and I'm about there now. I'm thinking ok fine, she could just be really nice and wanting to help. She's also come to visit a couple of times just to "check up on me" and see how I'm doing. Last week when I told her I was going to contact my congressman about the gang situation I wanted to know what she felt the department needed from the government to help matters. She suggested she come over for lunch, and that she would bring food. OK, still she could just be "nice" since there was something in it for her. However, I saw the opening and invited her out to dinner, and she said yes. I asked her if she liked a particular nice restaurant and she again said yes.

Now, I'm just a dense guy here, but I'm thinking she's attracted to me. The info on what the department needed she could have just written me an email on. Today she reminded me of going target shooting together and said we could do it soon. I think if you look at it in totality, to me it's pretty clear there is at least SOME level of attraction to me on her part, or she wouldn't have accepted the dinner invitation.

The thing is she's obviously not the typical girly-girl. She's a 10-year veteran of the gang task force of the local sheriff's department. She puts her life on the line all the time, and she's what's known as a "shooter" - not all cops practice a lot with their handguns but she does. I would think her occupation probably intimidates some men because of their egos. I, on the other hand, am more of a sensitive man than a chest-thumping macho-type guy, and I am above-average in the looks department. OF course, when I was in the ER half naked with blood caked around my mouth and writhing in pain being scanned for the bullet, I'm sure I wasn't exactly GQ-cover material!

OK...so we're going target shooting soon. We've already established good rapport even just through texting each other but we've done a lot of that. She does seem very pleasant and is a VERY attractive woman - I'd give her an 8 out of 10. She's roughly my age, give or take, slender, blonde, beautiful eyes and smile. She's seen my sensitive side as I have a couple of cats and she's seen me love on them - I'm not ashamed of it in the least. I have to be myself, after all. She is a very strong, intelligent, independent woman, and I like that.

I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how to play this gal. I don't want a one-night stand, I am looking for something long-term with her if we continue to get along. I know she finds me humorous at times. For instance today we were chatting over text and I told her I would have to buy her a "batshield" for her birthday - a reference to the 60's campy show SPAM. Several other times I've made her laugh as well, that I know of. Last week we had a total lunar eclipse and I mentioned how wondrous and beautiful the universe is, and she agreed. I told her during the eclipse (again via text) that I tried shadow puppets but it didn't work, that got a big laugh from her as well.

So much for keeping this short but like I said it isn't a typical dating situation. Our first "date" is going to involve firearms, after all! I just am looking for anyone who may have some insight to help me along and pass it to me on how to get/keep her interested. I think the initial interest is there but I guess what I'm looking for is some degree of "escalation" as you call it. I've never been involved in such a situation and I appreciate any quality input anyone can give me on this.

Thanks much!

Ken

_________________
Beldar - CONSUME MASS QUANTITIES!

Anyone up for a game of ring-toss?

Your story is profound, and the fact that you met this woman through the course of it is interesting in of itself.

As evidenced by your story, the two of you have quite the collection of life experiences. You probably have had a long line of dating records as well.

As you put it, she is an independent and seems to be passionate about her career. The fact that she is constantly extending invitations and seeking your validation insinuates that she is both interested and attracted to you.

It is great that you share a mutual interest with her. I think it would be very appropriate for a first date.

Based on your situation, I would recommend you be more strait forward with this woman. She has probably seen and heard it all, so you asking her out probably won't come as a shock. . .

I hope this helps. Let us know how things turn out.

Best of luck,

Jay

What an experience..... I bet you came out ahead with your appreciation of life. I hope those bastards got caught!

Ok, enough of that.

You are actually not in a unique situation. The avenue that you met was unique but the happenings between you two are not.

She has attraction for you but it might be the 'lets just be friends' kind. You need to find out.

You need to start touching her and see how she responds. Her responses to your touches will give a clear indication.

We call in kino escalation around here.

Here is what to do. Touch her lightly on the arm with an open hand when you are talking with her. Do it lightly and use it as part of what you are saying.

"Ok, so check it out" (place hand on arm, pull it away (not done fast)Use whatever vernacular you normally use.

Did she pull her arm away? Did she look at your hand when you did it? Did she tense up when you did it? These all may be signs that she is not attracted to you in that way.

The tensing part may indicate nervousness from her so you may need to do it again to get a clear idea. If she still acted normal or increase her attention to you, increase your kino.

Go from open hand on top of her arm, to closed hand around her arm (light touch, no grabbing)
If she is still showing positive signs, then increase the touching.

Word of caution. If you do not start demonstrating that you are interested in her in more than a friend, you may end up in friend zone.

Be careful where you touch her. Do not piss her off, she has a stun gun.

_________________
Recommended reading list.

Double Your Dating by DD
(This will work on your inner game)

http://www.freewebs.com/xfman/
(This will work on your outer game)

Hey guys. I do appreciate the advice. Just wanted to emphasize a couple things here:

She initiated the "let's go target shooting" thing, and she also wanted to come see me and talk over lunch and said "I'll bring the food" - both those could be "friendly" things, I'll agree.

However, when she said she'd come by for lunch, that's when I saw the opening and invited her to dinner. The place is called Redbone Alley, and while it's not HUGELY upscale, it IS a nice restaurant, one where couples often go. Subdued lighting, nice decor and all that. I am simply thinking that if she were looking for "friends only" she might have been reluctiant to agree to THAT, because I'm pretty certain we both know it's not a place for casual-type dining. I have done a few things (don't know the terms here so I'll do the best I can) to elicit either an emotional response or at least emotional thoughts.

Last week we had a total lunar eclipse. I texted her to remind her about it as she was working (I swear she must work 100 hrs a week it seems). She's VERY dedicated to her job, which I admire. I started talking about space and the universe...that the universe is a wondrous, beautiful, and mysterious place, etc....she agreed. Remember most of our communication has been over text messages because of the nature of her job so I'm doing my best. I've also made her laugh a number of times, like when I told her I tried to do shadow puppets during the eclipse but it didn't work - that got a laugh. I told her I worry about her facing these gangs at night, so she knows I'm concerned for her safety and I expressed it a couple of times, but not overdoing it there. I told her I was going to buy her a "batshield" for her birthday and that got a big laugh from her. So, I know I can make her laugh.

For now I am doing what I can over texting. Just not trying to overdo it or appear to be "needy" - some days I don't text her at all, some days just one or two lines. Some days we get into conversations that last nearly an hour, depending on how busy she is.

It just seems to me that she's a little too friendly to be just wanting friendship or "doing her job." I'm sure her occupation intimidates SOME men at least, so that cuts down on her dating pool right there. I did get the "magic bullets" e-book (I think that's the one I have, I have to check), so I'll read it over. She seems receptive when texting, when she has time. If I text once or twice and she doesn't respond, I simply assume she's busy and don't text for the remainder of the day. The last 2 days I've sent her a total of 3 texts. I don't plan to text again until Monday unless she texts me. She's real busy on weekends since she's the one person in the sherrif's dept that is full-time on gangs.

My main reason for thinking she's got at least SOME romantic intention towards me, or at least is open to the possibility, is the dinner date. As I said, I saw the opening when she invited herself over for lunch and asked her out to dinner. I would think if she were a friends-only gal when I asked she would have said something like "we'll see" or some other neutral response. One of my female friends seems to think she's being sly - asking me out without asking me out - because of the fact she wanted to take me target shooting and invited herself over for lunch. She didn't need to come for lunch, she simply could have handled what we were talking about with an email.

So it really isn't any ONE thing she's done, it's a combination of several things. Do you think I'm reading this correctly? IF nothing else, I think she's being open to the possibility of a romance but of course much of it is up to me and how I am. When we're shooting I'll do the kino that was suggested. Taser? HA! She's got a real gun, folks! Besides, I'm still healing and have a bullet in my hip...due to her training and profession she probably could kick my ass even if I weren't injured, and I've got probably 60 pounds on her (she's tall - about 5'11" although slender). I AM a good-looking man - many female friends have told me so, so I do have that going for me as well.

Any other comments are welcome, I just wanted to reiterate a couple of things here. When we're shooting, I'll touch her a few times as described in the previous post and see how that goes.

One other thing - someone mentioned about being direct since she's seen and heard it all. I'm not the type to use phony lines or such...and I was thinking that if we had a "moment" I would just go for the kiss if I felt like it and felt like she would respond positively. She works with the big macho-type guys and I'm admittedly not a chest-thumping hulk but I'm no wimp either. If things are right, I might just go in for that kiss out of the blue to demonstrate I'm a "real man" even if I don't have the bulging biceps. And remember, she HAS seen me at my worst - in the ER, shot in the back, blood crusted around my mouth from the sawed-off shotgun stuck in my mouth and tearing up the meat of the roof there, and shuddering uncontrollably from hypothermia. She also heard me yelling "Let me up, I'll go kill 'em MYSELF!" LOL

So please, keep the ideas coming if anyone has any further ones. I really do appreciate it. She does know I'm bright also, she knows I was delivering pizza because I am going back to school to study Nuclear Medicine so I'm no dummy there. She also knows I have an undergrad degree in Business from Auburn University.

Thanks again guys, and I will keep you posted as things develop, or don't. It's just so hard to meet a GOOD WOMAN, let alone one as pretty as she is, around here anymore. If we do continue to get along, I would be a lucky man to land a woman like her for sure.

Ken

_________________
Beldar - CONSUME MASS QUANTITIES!

Anyone up for a game of ring-toss?

The gal is having issues at work and apparently is reacting by ignoring me now. I know it isn't anything I said because I haven't said anything we haven't already discussed.

This one's a flake. I am good at meeting them.

Ken

_________________
Beldar - CONSUME MASS QUANTITIES!

Anyone up for a game of ring-toss?