This girl is a distant friend, who we have bother previously expressed interest in but died down due going about in different directions, untill i caught up with her recently... here the story (short format)

Me: When i meet someone attractive, it doesnt do to much for me... i often wonder if they gotten lazy cultivating other parts of their personality. So tell me, what are the three main things about you that a guy would find attractive and none of them can be about your looks?

Her: Ummmm well im REALLY unattreactive to be honest. Im such a man; I snort when i laugh, I burp, but i suposee some guys like the fact that im such a man. But i only do it around people im really comfrotable around so im don't know...

No need for comments on what type of girl she actually is after saying that, im just curious as to how you would handle a response to that...

Well, let's just address why you got this response and how you feel about it. You titled the topic saying that you had "lowered her value" too much and that's a big problem, because you shouldn't be lowering her value, you should be making her feel equal to you. Whether that means that you need to raise yourself up to her level, or raise her up to yours, it is much more effective and creates a better connection than trying to lower her value. Doesn't matter if that is even what you were aiming for originally, because that's how you feel about it and that's what matters, because that means you know you are doing this subconsciously and you need to change that.

As for how I would respond to that, I'd nickname her piggy and tell her that you do the same, or that you think it's cute or something to raise her value up a bit and let her know that you're just joking.

I also think that you got a bad response because of how you phrased the question, "i often wonder if they gotten lazy cultivating other parts of their personality." You phrased that in a very negative light, so you're gonna get a negative response. You want to encourage positive responses, so you use positive and enthusiastic language. I'm thinking that maybe you were trying to challenge her and make her qualify to you, but are already challenging her and making her qualify by asking her what is interesting about her aside from her looks, so you definitely were asking for too much.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

i hear what your saying, i but was completly trying to lower her value, due to her being an HB9 and knowing it, u know the type i mean? ones where they assume they can have any guy at the snap of her fingers...

So i was neggin her, lowering her value, and making her qualify herself... but i see where u coming from, was abit too much in one blow and was negativly put across... many thanks rye

No, I just wouldn't try to lower any girl's value. I don't make women feel like they are less than they are, I make them realise I'm the best guy around and then show them all the good things about themselves. I empower women, I don't make them feel less than.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye