| I'm just back home from a pretty full day (night) of mixed feelings.
First of all, there's a FB I've been seeing for a while who had told me before she would meet me that night, but changed her mind and decided to go home because "she was so tired". As we were kissing goodbye, her mobile rang. She claimed that to be a (male) friend in trouble. The guy called twice in a minute, pretty anxious for someone who just needed advice if you ask me. It didn't feel right, as I had the impression that she was dropping me as a second option.
And so I came to realise... Maybe I was jealous. Maybe, I thought, I was developing one-itis. The cure, as well known, is to GFOTW. Time is a waste, I thought, as I picked my stuff and off I went clubbing. Sod it.
1st stop: latin pub.
First, I stop by at a small latin-themed pub. As soon as I come in, this cute blonde is sitting there with a friend, but starts staring at me and hiding her smile in a pretty obvious fashion (this would be a reason for a fight with a GF back in my AFC days). It happens twice within 2 minutes or so as I get a drink at the bar. I still feel unsure though, so I move on and check the place.
I see two more attractive girls doing girl-talk, but do not approach them. Instead, I do go back to the bar and end up behind the blonde. I realise, wow, her friend actually is better looking than me. I do notice something, although he looks interested, he's sitting in a way (legs sideways, hand between legs, "puppy smile") that screams "nice guy". No wonder she's crossing her arms while talking to him. I begin to wonder, maybe they are really just friends, fuck him she might, but either way, THAT would not be her first choice.
As I approach the bar, they prepare to leave and she turns and sees me, sending her last IOI as a nice big smile before she turns away. Now, at this stage, the AFC inside me posessed me and stopped me from doing the right thing. So, I did not open this set. Time up, I failed.
I begin to wonder, why not not use my experience earlier tonight as variation of "ex-girlfriend" opener? After a period of AFC-ish indecision, I try to reach the other two girls with this gambit, but they completely ignore me. I could not even engage the slightest hint of communication. My value feels low to myself again. I finally realise at this stage, my game was incompetent here and now.
*Good things:
I noticed how I've become better observant of body language.
*Mistakes:
I did not respect the 3 seconds rule. I both made my doubts grow exponentially and started creeping girls away as a result.
So, let this be an important thing to keep in mind for other noobs: FUCKING RESPECT THE 3 SECONDS RULE.
2nd stop: after-work party.
Although I decided to change location, since my social proof there was zero, I still felt compelled to try my "honesty among FB" gambit.
Well, anyway, I went to this pub where this friendly doorman recognized me and saved me the trouble of paying the entrance. I danced around, and when I got to the top floor, I saw a completely unwatched four-set dancing. Perhaps an evil AFC voice echoed inside my head, but I realised I left my coat and phone downstairs, so I had to go get them.
As soon as I came back with my stuff and looking for a place to leave, I find that four-set heavily sarged on by 3 guys! There was even an HB8 in that set who was dancing with another guy already. I wished I was dancing with her instead...
I weighted my priorities and just thought to myself, "who cares if I don't fuck anybody new tonight? I want to try out this gambit on the field!".
So, I randomly approached one of the girls (the most average one) in the four-set and asked away:
North: "Hi, I need an opinion on a dillema of mine"
G: "What?"
North: "Well, I've been wondering about this tonight, there's this girl I've been seeing for a while, even if it's nothing serious."
G: "Yeah?"
North: "Well, we were to meet tonight, but then she suddenly came to me in person and then told me she was too tired. At this instant, her phone rings. She says it's just a friend, blahblahblah"
G: "That's not nice, cheating is not nice."
North: "But that's not my point, it's not serious about it anyway. I'm not her boyfriend and don't mind if she sees other guys besides me. The point is: I would like her, just out of respect for a friend, to be honest to me about seeing another guy, which she denies, and I know to be a lie. I just saw them downstairs." (Remember, it's not lying, it's flirting).
G: "Ah, yes, I agree..." Honesty, bla blah blah "...You know, I think she's very belgian!"
North: (laugh) "Oh, this I really need to hear!"
At this point, I use this to sit and she comes after me, sitting too close for me. As the remaining group (the other 3 plus the jocks hitting on them) looks, I make it clear through distance (far enough to forbid kino from her part) that although I am interested in the conversation, I'm not trying to hit on her. I did try, fruitlessly, for a couple of times to ask for the same advice from her friends, but this, I realised, if pushed too much, leads to her into thinking I'm more interested in her friends (even if I did intend to meet HB9). So I decided not to make the "let me talk to everybody" thing too forced.
North: "I'm in doubt whether I should confront her about it. You know, I am just trying to understand her point of view, seeing as she already told me she's in love in someone."
G: "You know, girls sometimes..." blah blah blah
I was surprised at the amount of subjects we could jump to from there. Maybe she was so eager not to let me go, she wanted to lead the conversation.
The club is then about to close down, the girls go get their coats back, and the "adviser" begins to introduce me to her friends/colleagues. I neg around a bit, to see if that captivates her friends as well, and they do seem entertained.
As we step outside, I realise that the group was back to the original four-set, and that it was just me and the girls. They suggested we go for a cocktail and invite me along. This is when I really begin to enjoy myself.
In the cocktail bar, I finally have a chance to spread attention among the girls. Now, her friends tease the "adviser" about how she's going to have some explaining to do to her boyfriend. While talking to me, she reminds me of her BF countless times (I think it was mostly to DHV). But my target appears to be the quiet type. Quite the HB8, though. Make that 9. Pretty AND witty.
At some point, they start talking about office gossip and how HB9 is quite sarcastic. With this, they DHV her friend big time, as I actually quite like that in a woman. But she still doesn't participate much.
Throughout the conversation (which was about boys and girls), I throw more or less subtle IOIs such as calling HB9 "Goddess of Sarcasm" and mentioning when is she going to throw a bomb, but I am careful enough not to focus the conversation on her. When she gets a bit more playful, I use "Come on, you can do better than that" as a neg. At a certain point, she says "I do it better towards people I don't like". I'm not sure if that means what I hope it means, but later on I test her with:
North: "You know, I think it's going to take a while before I finally see you throwing one of those bombs of yours."
HB9: "Maybe it's because I like you." (IOI)
Now, at this point, her friend (the "adviser") does her best to get my attention back and as they all complain about being tired and wanting to go home, she asks me my number. Sure enough, I give it. Doesn't mean it's her I want though. So I granted her the bragging rights (DHV). HB9 asks my name again. Everybody gets up, and what a coincidence, HB9 takes her time getting up from the table allowing me to talk to her a little bit.
North: "You live here too, but in which part of TOWN?"
HB9: "Near the old market!"
North: "I probably saw you around already."
HB9: "Yes, maybe we've seen each other, but not really noticed."
North: "Wow, I come I never noticed you?"
HB9: "I'm wondering the same thing!" (IOI)
In this way, I got from her the place where she most often goes out at saturday, so I might find her there again one of these weekends. So, no, no f-close, no k-close, or even #close with my target, but I did find out she's practically my neighbor.
*Mistakes:
Would have more easily opened the entire four-set a lot more smoothly if I had played my gambit earlier (once again, 3 seconds rule).
Gave a bit too much attention to the entry point, almost making my intent too dubious for the target.
I think I could have #closed my target properly, opportunity missed.
*Good things
Even the waiter of the cocktail bar was impressed to see me enter the place alone with four girls, who referred to my "style" during the conversation. Don't underestimate the power of social proof.
Openly talking about subjects an AFC would be afraid to talk about (such as FB) can disarm a set very quickly. A natural attitude towards "naughty stuff" turns out to come across much less threatening.
Can any of you who are more experienced please add to my wrongs and rights lists? Would very much appreciate.
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