hey guys,
I'm brand new - i've been lurking for a little while..... reading up on some great PUA info.

I met an HB9 cougar a few weeks ago through a distant relative. She was immediately attracted to me as I was to her but i remained calm and didn't let it be known. the whole night she kept giving me compliments on my build and my looks. I didn't respond back with a comment about her..... i accepted her compliments and said thank-you and kept the conversation going.

Later in the night i finally gave her the compliment she was looking for and she asked to kiss me. I danced around the question and left the bar with her..... i took her to a nice lit up terrace and suprised her with a kiss.

More stuff happened but i declined sex for my own personal reasons lol..... anyways..... she asked me to visit her at work durring the following week. I waited about 10-11 days and finally went to see her and she was happy..... wanted to know why I took so long. I gave her a good DHV story and in the end she wanted me to come back and visit her again.

I should have left it at that..... but i went back later that night because she previously told me she didn't have plans. I asked her out and she declined because a friend just stopped in and made plans with her. She did say to stop back durring the week and visit her again tho.

I sort of feel like she "regained" the upper hand by declining my invite. Am I still in good shape? What should I do the next time I go to visit her and should I make her wait another week or so?

thanks guys! sorry for the long post!

stangdrvr

Oh I also forgot to mention - when she declined my invite she did ask me to go out for drinks another time. that time would be determined when i visit her again.....

stangdrvr

Question. Why are you avoiding sex? I know you said you did this for personal reasons. But the thing with cougars is most of them really just want a sexual relationship with a younger guy that is really not going to last all that long (ie no more than a year). And in some ways you are teasing this cougar and if you continue it she will loose interest in you and find another guy.

As far as her having the upper hand, I don't think she really does have the upper hand. It seem her friend got to her before you did on making plans. And so you "struck" out. But one of the things you have to keep in mind is that if this cougar has experience dating other younger guys, she will be more aggressive in getting the upper hand and by more slick and underhand ways. Tho I think your still in good shape with her. Just don't wait 10 days before you come and visit her. Make it 3 or 5 days instead.

I had to avoid it because I had a prior engagement with a female friend. We're not dating but the plans were set and there wasn't time to go back to her room for a few hours. I figured if she wanted it that bad..... she'd want to see me again..... which she did.

I'm having trouble with my next step. I KNOW shes sexually interested..... It's just a little weird that our "night" never came up durring convo..... is this normal?

I guess my next step should be to take her out and go with the flow..... maybe try to establish a comfort level?

stangdrvr