so ive been talking to this figure skater for a couple weeks now. i hung out with her once, but some stuff came up and she had to go. so then i called her up last friday, she didnt asnwer and we had a texting conversation. she said she couldn't hang out bc she was going to a party, and then the flyers game the next day. so i stop talking to her and pretty much decide its game over.....

then today she came to me out of nowhere and said she broke her phone on Saturday and needed my number. i DHV like a motherfucker and she digs it. then i bounce with her to the library for 20 mins where i DHV more and i notice her touching her hair.

my question is, is she interested? shes veeeeeery independent and i know she works hard, and is busy alot of the time. i figure she isnt going out of her way to hang out with me, which is an IOD. what do i do?

it sounds like she needs to be negged a bit. try that for awhile. keep up DHV. you should try to show her you're as independent as she is.

shes too insecure to neg her. shes been training for figure skating her whole life so she has not developed social skills. when i neg she really gets upset

Wow. Are you sure you're that interested in her?
I would suggest still neg her but make them small, DHV for the most part and i think you shouldn't be afraid to give her compliments if she's IOI'ing you, just make sure it's a push pull kind of thing. Give 2 inches, take one away sort of deal. She should find it more amusing than insulting. I guess don't neg her on skating as well, or if you do just make it really really obvious you're joking. Like "Are you training for the olympics?...answer blah cut her off... No i meant the special olympics." I was thinking about it, and this may even be too harsh, but if you switch topics immediately and then compliment her on something minor she's wearing or her hair it might be ok.

That's IOI's right there. She came to you out of nowhere apparently for no reason to get your number. She bounced with you for 20 mins. She touches her hair. That's at least 3 IOI's right there. Then you ask . . .
LOL, are you blind? You say she isn't going out of her way to hang with you, but you made it sound like she is. Are you just trying to confuse us? lol.

be more direct about controlling when the two of you hang out. mayybe shes just a lil insecure and u need to make her feel both comfortable around u but also a slight bit dominated. she may just be inexperienced if shes that busy all the time. make her laugh AALOT. keep her rare times with u very fun and i guarantee she will associate great times with you and wanna spend more times with you. thats my best advice. Also a word of warning: she seems like she may be slightly vulnerable or at least a lil timid. This girl will most likely get quite attached to you. If u dont wanna hurt her than u need to consider relationship here. I dont think u can just lay her and leave her unless u wanna be a heartless bastard. If thats your choice go ahead. -best of luck with this girl man -PEACE

If you neg a target and they get upset, i mean really upset...then apologize sincerely.

However if its like kinda of upset or like a hey dont do that upset then neg them for getting bent over it. Sometimes it wakes people up to humor and how they shouldnt take everything literally.

Also remember that after you toss a neg out follow it up with something, dont wait for a reaction.

Hope things work out.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."