Had a target, a HB9, met through work, opened me by adding me on Facebook then engaging in some banter.

Built a good rapport, but spent too long in the comfort zone (due to my own and her busy schedules etc.) and didn’t build enough physical intimacy/sexual tension (due to me being a rookie and taking her on some lame dates).

Was sending tonnes of IOIs my way to begin with(drunk texts, sober texts, starting conversations on Facebook, asking me out etc.) but when her schedule cleared up, pretty much stopped talking to me, made it very difficult to time bridge and would only go out with me every few weeks but k-closed her 3 times.

Confront her a few days before she’s going overseas and say I want to hang out more often, tells me she’s seeing someone. Gets back from overseas and says LJBF.

My question…

The guy she was seeing at the same time as me, was already pretty involved in her life (friends with her friends, friends with her brother, had been friends with her for a while, had his own place where she and her friends would hang out, has lots of money, drugs etc.) thus making it more practical to have a relationship with him than with me (not involved in her social life, age gap(she’s 18, I’m 22), only see her through work, have almost no money).

Is there any way to beat this?

Would more attraction do the job?

Becoming involved in her social life?

Is this an unanswerable question?

It sounds like you already know where you went wrong. Can MORE attraction help? Possibly, but the situation may be to far gone. I would 'learn from my mistakes' and move on.

If anything, keep the banter up as 'practice'. Maybe she'll swing back in your direction in the future. If she does, don't miss the opportunity to nail her.

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

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Yeh I guess it’s a waste of time trying to reconcile where I fucked up and where it was just bad luck.

We still hang out every now and then so it’s definitely a possibility…


Thanks for the link. Difficult to tell whether I’m category A or B or both.

This is something that I tried…

Met up with a friend at a racing carnival who’s a HB9 possibly HB10 then met up with said target, while holding hands, flirting etc. with the HB9/10. Could see from her face/body language she was not liking it.

2 days later target changes Facebook relationship status from ‘Single’ to ‘In a relationship’. Definitely did it to piss me off haha.

Don’t know if that’s a good thing?

But yeh will move on and hope her boyfriend fucks up.