Hey guys,

I'll skip right to the point.

Last night I had a date with a girl, and the date went wonderful. Lots of attraction, comfort, kino escalation. Ended up at my place with a false time constraint.

So we start making out. Slam her against the wall (without her touching the wall, I know the move), make out passionately, start touching her body. She all allows this.

Then I throw her on the bed, and continue making out. When I went under her clothes with my hands I didn't sense any resistance. So I slowly escalate more. But when I went under her bra, I sensed it. So I stop. "Wait, this is going too fast. We hardly know each other." I say. She agrees with me. We pause for 10 seconds looking each other in the eyes, then I continue.

Again, when I touched her naked breast, I felt resistance. This time she immediately said "yeah, this is going way too fast". So I stop and do a freeze out. Blow out the candles, turn on the light, and check my mail.

She said "I'm sorry bla bla", and I responded "Don't be sorry, I just respect it when a girl says stop." And I ignored her after that.


Well...so far all textbook right? Well I obviously screwed something up, because instead of trying to get me back, she just sat on my bed being quiet, and I saw her body language changing from horny/relaxed to closed/uncomfortable.

So I sat next to her, and explained to her that I understood it, and told her about what she was feeling and why she felt it (basically explaining LMR), which made her more comfortable.

She missed her last train (she should have known she was gonna, when she decided to go back with me to my place), so she had to stay over. We didn't have sex, even though we started making out again when lying next to each other, and I knew it was another opportunity, but I wanted to be congruent with myself for 'respecting her' (she said she never had sex on the first date before, and want to know someone better before she does. Bullshit, I know, she just doesn't wanna be a slut).

Anyway, I'll see her again, and will probably seal the deal then.

But, any feedback is appreciated, because the next time this happens with a girl, I want to know what to do!


Jabba

That's almost textbook, but you did alright. Textbook would dictate that you stop when you meet resistance, wait a few, then start over, pushing the limit every time you meet resistance.

Combined with a little assisted rationalization, it's quite possible to overcome LMR. Some things you can use are phrases that blame her for turning you on. If you absolutely have to, you can talk it out during the wait phase between attempts, but do so from a speculative standpoint rather than a logical one. i.e., Wonder out loud as to why people feel the need to wait before they have sex. Try to take committment and emotion out of the picture and leave the carnal desire to mate. Try to get her to come to the same conclusion as you: that it's perfectly okay to sleep with someone you just met.

However... It's still probably going to make her feel like a slut the next day, at least a little.

If you stick around though and end up dating her, it'll put her mind to rest that you're going to kick her out the next day - never to talk to her again. It's not a bad idea to stick around at least for a little bit, because she can easily open the doors to new women if things don't exactly work out but ended on good terms.

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LMR, LMR, LMR...LMR is one of the things that I think is majorly majorly taught wrong by most guys in the community. You shouldn't worry so much about dealing with LMR, you should worry more about PREVENTING LMR.

The first step to preventing LMR is to QUALIFY the girl. Giving her reasons that you like her other than her looks. This is done sparatically all throughout the pickup. When you're on a date with a girl you can eve ask her "why do you think I like you?" This will give you a really good idea of whether you qualified properly or not. If she doesn't know why you like her, fix that.

Then the next step is instead of explaining all that stuff AFTER I get LMR, I'll do it ON the date. So, I'll tell a few sex stories that show that I'm non-judgemental towards girls and I'm discreet.
And I'll usually say something like "I mean, I think what 2 adults do behind closed doors is their business and no one else needs to know about it." Just make sure you're not refering to you and her, you're referring to something that happened to you and some else or 2 completely different people, so it doesn't look like you're trying to rationalize the idea of sex to her.

Then, the last thing you need to do to prevent LMR is EXTEND FOREPLAY. Don't be afraid to make out with her for like 15, maybe even 20 minutes before you start touching her boobs or dry humping her or any of that. And the making out you do before getting back to your place does not count. You should make out with her for like 15 minutes after she's already in a position where you could theoretically have sex with her before you put your hand up her shirt or anything like that.

ALSO, don't be afraid to take your dick out. Did you ever see that episode of Seinfeld where George is like "I always worry so much about getting HER clothes off, I never even thought about taking off my own." Well, that is VERY true. If you've been making out with a girl for like 15 minutes and then you kiss her neck a little and then touch her boobs alittle and then put her hand on your dick and just start unzipping YOUR pants, your pretty much golden most of the time.

Also, one last point: there are 2 types of LMR. There is real LMR where the girl is actually really uncomfortable and there is bullshit LMR where the girl just wants to put up a little bit of a fight so it doesn't seem like she gave in right away. For bullshit LMR you can usually blast through it super easily with a freeze out and then if she doesn't reinitiate, then you can reinitiate and you'll be fine. BUT for real LMR, it usually means that you didn't do all the stuff I mentioned above. If you try to plow through real LMR (even if it's after a freez out) you will most likely just make the girl really uncomfortable and even if you successfully push through it, she mill most likely get buyers remorse and not feel comfortable in sexual situations with you anymore. SO, if I get LMR nowadays, I freez out, then try to reinitiate like 10-20 minutes later and if she's STILL not comfortable then I stop, because I know it's real LMR at that point. The only time it's worth pushing through it is if like you're in another part of the country and it's a girl you don't ever plan on seeing again.
But, if you do everything I mentioned above, you should get alot less LMR in the first place, so you won't even have to do freez outs too often.

Thx for the feedback. Some really helpful stuff i read here.

I dont have problems with qualifying the girl or being sloppy on foreplay. But I will keep in mind to show her not being judgemental and discrete and stuff on the date. That's what I didnt do last night. Such a rookie


Oh and I always create the frame that she is seducing me and her being the sexual predator instead of the man, and me needing more comfort before we go there etc etc. Aside from that it works, its a lot fun;)