first date - how to get a second ?



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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:03 am 
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hello guys , quick question.

i managed to get a girls number on friday night and we arranged a date for saturday , i took her out to a nice bar and we then went for a walk . I really liked her , she was nice to be with .

anyhow i felt she wasnt feeling the same as me and maybe not having such a good time . when we got back in the car i said do you want to go home or should we go for a drive and she said we could go for the drive. we sat and talked for a while but i never kissed her etc.


after i dropped her back off home she said she had a lovely time and was nice meeting etc ( normal small talk ) the thing is ive not heard from her since .

i wanted to text her but thought best not to , where should i go now ? is that it done with or do i have a chance of another date ?


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:53 am 
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I'm going to be honest, that doesn't sound like a good situation but I don't think it's a completely failure either. I assume you're new to having day-twos with girls so there's plenty of positives to take away from the experience (sounds like you were leading things well), but I think you should have definitely tried to kiss her earlier in the date, perhaps when you guys were happy/chuckling about something or you could feel that her buying temperature was high, because sometimes they can become turned-off when you hesitate too much and miss these windows.

To say it was "nice meeting" kind of seems like she was trying to let you down gently, whereas you would rather have her in a position where she has "the look" in her eye and doesn't want to leave you. Nevertheless, you might have another chance if she isn't a particularly fickle kind of person, so continue to work your follow-up game until she's green (another date) or red (blatantly no interest and flakes on you). I'm not going to offer too much advice on this area though, since this is something I've been struggling with in recent times (continuing to see girls beyond a day-two).

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:29 pm 
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I'm going to be honest, that doesn't sound like a good situation but I don't think it's a completely failure either. I assume you're new to having day-twos with girls so there's plenty of positives to take away from the experience (sounds like you were leading things well), but I think you should have definitely tried to kiss her earlier in the date, perhaps when you guys were happy/chuckling about something or you could feel that her buying temperature was high, because sometimes they can become turned-off when you hesitate too much and miss these windows.

To say it was "nice meeting" kind of seems like she was trying to let you down gently, whereas you would rather have her in a position where she has "the look" in her eye and doesn't want to leave you. Nevertheless, you might have another chance if she isn't a particularly fickle kind of person, so continue to work your follow-up game until she's green (another date) or red (blatantly no interest and flakes on you). I'm not going to offer too much advice on this area though, since this is something I've been struggling with in recent times (continuing to see girls beyond a day-two).

yeah i think i should have gave her a kiss but i guess its all a learning curve. how long do i leave it before i call , i was going to wait till tomorrow night as shes got a big day tomorrow so i thought i could call to see how she got on etc.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 3:49 pm 
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i was thinking about maybe texting her in the morning saying good luck and maybe crack a little joke .


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 7:55 pm 
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Man all these 'experts' tell you not to do this or to do that.

Speaking from personal experience I normally send a text the same night or next day saying I had a good night we should catch up and do it again some then gauge by her response what your next move is. I don't sit and message back 300 times acting all needy I just send the 1 text and reply only if need be. try it.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 8:15 pm 
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Man all these 'experts' tell you not to do this or to do that.

Speaking from personal experience I normally send a text the same night or next day saying I had a good night we should catch up and do it again some then gauge by her response what your next move is. I don't sit and message back 300 times acting all needy I just send the 1 text and reply only if need be. try it.

thanks mate , i think ill ring her tomorrow.

to be honest i think i know i'll be blown out the water , the only thing is i got so many mixed signals i dont know what she wants.

i just think if she was intrested she would have texted


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 9:22 pm 
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any more advice guys , i need all i can get lol


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 7:56 pm 
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i just think if she was intrested she would have texted
Your the man, You initiate.
Yes girls text sometimes if they really want it, but a lot of girls wont even message unless you message first. Its an unwritten rule.
Girls want the man to initiate most, if not all of the time

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 8:36 pm 
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heres the latest . i text her this morning about 9.30am just wishing her good luck etc. i didnt get a text till 7.30pm by this point id thought i had blown it but we have sent each other a few texts . she hasnt text back to my last one .... i am a little confused , i'm not sure if shes not interested and just been nice or she is playing hard to get .


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 5:14 pm 
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heres the latest . i text her this morning about 9.30am just wishing her good luck etc. i didnt get a text till 7.30pm by this point id thought i had blown it but we have sent each other a few texts . she hasnt text back to my last one .... i am a little confused , i'm not sure if shes not interested and just been nice or she is playing hard to get .
She might like you but you definitely like her more. You text her then you sit around waiting and hoping for a reply, arrange another date and see what your response is stop wasting time with something that might not happen

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 5:21 pm 
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Text her say your going out to whatever place and she can come along if she wants to have an awesome time out.
Something like that, you know how PUA texts go, throw some humour in too if you can.
other than that, same as above.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:20 pm 
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Text her say your going out to whatever place and she can come along if she wants to have an awesome time out.
Something like that, you know how PUA texts go, throw some humour in too if you can.
other than that, same as above.
think ive lost this one boys, i text her lastnight and got a reply then i said i was going at the weekend if she fancied coming along but got no reply .


i'm abit gutted but i guess things could be worse , you cant force someone can you .


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 7:09 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Text her say your going out to whatever place and she can come along if she wants to have an awesome time out.
Something like that, you know how PUA texts go, throw some humour in too if you can.
other than that, same as above.
think ive lost this one boys, i text her lastnight and got a reply then i said i was going at the weekend if she fancied coming along but got no reply .


i'm abit gutted but i guess things could be worse , you cant force someone can you .
Sometimes it's tough to not text and follow-up when you have a girl that you are interested in flake out. I really think one of the worst things you can do is spam them with text though because it tends to drive them away. This has the same effect on me as well, If a girl is interested in me, but I'm not so keen on it, texts me over and over. I distance myself naturally.

That said, there are going to be flakes and things that just don't tie out the way you hoped. I have become a firm believer in being desierless. It has helped me overcome attachment to any outcome. What i do is make sure I have a pool of maidens in queue to keep things fresh and competitive, if one flakes, I usually have another. If none of them pan-out, I go out. Rinse, repeat...meet as many people as you possible can. Guys and girls - because the one thing they have in common is that they ALL know other girls...

Good luck man...

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 7:12 pm 
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sounds like u gotta be more aggressive


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