Im not that great at closing girls if I dont close on the first night. I K-closed this one girl 3 nights ago and she really seemed to like me, I asked her to meet me tonight and she said no, should I bother asking one more time or not? This is a general question, how many times do you try? here are the specifics of the texts I sent (stuff in brackets is my comments and not part of the text);

ME: So I know you had your heart set on me calling you but I think text is a fair compromise. Ill be hanging around st kilda and the city (places to go out in Melbourne btw) tonight, we should meet up

HB: haha so disappointing :p Im not heading out tonight though, go work early tomorrow. decided where you're going?

ME: pfft, who works on sat morning? Like I said ill prob be in st kilda since I dont know what else is good on a friday. What time is work?

HB: Yeh the saint isnt too bad on a fri! Lol I work all weekend its pretty lame... I start at 9 tomorrow so I prob wont bother going out tonight. Have fun!

That seemed pretty final so I didnt text back so like I said im wondering if I should try again in a few days or not bother. I was thinking the same place we met since its the only place thats good on a tuesday night and she clearly could go out that night since she did.

Likely situation is that she really just need to get up early has a busy weekend.

Less likely situation, is that she is currently getting her vag pounded by another man.

Either way. Accept both possibilities and use that to ask yourself do you still want to hang out with her? Is she a fuck you really want? Is she special? Is it your pride?

If you still want her, wait 5 days or so. Invite her out again. If she refuses, or doesn't offer to reschedule, she's not interested. Move on. Freeze her out.

Rule of thumb is to keep your options open, so you won't even worry about when a girl isn't with you.

Overly cocky is only going to work on certain girls, and even then, only in certain situations. But most PUA material purports it as the way to go. Or at least gives this impression, when they are probably only talking about being overly cocky in some cases, and just cocky-funny in a lot of others.

When I read your first message, I guess to put it into words, if there is a balance between cocky and funny, yours was more cocky than funny. And that's just silly. It feels like the frame is being set to - "we're going to play smart arse games" - rather than "let's have fun".

It's possible she may be avoiding you but you can't know for sure. I do think for sure though, that she's not super keen, and not impressed - a little amused at most, but you're not rating very highly after that exchange. I'm basing this on the way she ended the conversation.

Keep talking to her if you want, for experience, to see what happens, but don't tear your hair out over her. Learn what you can and keep looking at other girls.

Um but you should be calling, not texting. That was your first big mistake. So yeah your next move should be a phone call, even though things are worse off than they were, a phone call is still always better.

haha you're a melbourne boy??? nice one.. i used to live in hoppers crossing lol...

personally i would have cut it off as soon as she said she couldnt go out... after she sent
i would have wrote something like

"haha ok... we're going to "bla bla"... ok well im off to have fun... ill probably talk to you later "

ok firstly... you didnt know where you were going... and secondly you were asking her questions when she blew you off! imagine what would have ran through her head if you cut the conversation off to go have fun instead of her implying that that was her last text message she was sending you...

i thought you started out well!

_________________
A wise man once told me
"Bros before hoes, unless hoes have no clothes!"

I agree, that was a good point to end the conversation.

When you are sensing you're getting lower value, you should more often end the conversation yourself every time, preferably on a high.

she could be interested in you so you may need to plough some more

_________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2lvod9yKBs

Here is a quick update for those that can be bothered reading. I decided to call again after asking for advice from the guys in the melbourne lair, they decided that she was actually probably busy since everyone seems to work in melbourne all the time. The following are a series of text sent to her over 2 seperate nights, each about 4 days apart (a lot of the place names are local bars that most people would not know so just ignore them, their location is not important just know that most places are about 15-20 min away by car);

FIRST NIGHT;
ME: How was working all weekend? I had fun going out a few times, Im sure your weekend was equally as exciting...:p

HB: Haha wasn't bad, had a 21st at baroq on sat and went to alumbra for a bit after which was good besides a 10 hour shift sunday lol... where'd you end up going to?

ME: Haha sounds fun. Like I said Friday was st kilda, I know a cool bar I forgot the name of, sat was city and last night was my cousins 21st so we got him wasted, I was designated driver tho , wat u up to?

HB: Aw being designated driver is the worst! I'm just at home, have work at 4 cbffff so over working lol wat u up to?

ME: Wow u sure do work a lot was gonna hit up the beach but now is cloudy, my friends are getting kinda iffy. Where do you work? lemme guess some kinda hospitality

HB: Haha why hospitality? I work at a call centre and safeway lol trying to save as much as possible for europe where do u work?

ME: Haha check out chick. I dont work cuz I got back from studying in america like 2 weeks, Im looking tho, prob be a waiter again. So listen, Im going out a lot this week, prob hitting up hawthorn tomorrow, u should join.

HB: Oh yeh fair enough! Im not sure if we're going out tomorrow coz we're all working, may be there next week, Ill let u know if we end up coming tomorrow

ME: haha well maybe I wont invite you next week...:p are there any day when you dont work?

HB: I finish most days by 8, so far I only have thurs off but most of the time they call and ask if I wanna work haha so never really know! Im jealous of u i wanna ave no job

ME: Damn u arent making it easy for me r u? Ur lucky im such a patient guy! Ok well like I said I do something most nites so there is a good chance ill be out Thu, if they call you to work u can always cancel and 8 is still early enough to get out and have fun so u have no excuse. Its tomoz or thu, ur choice

HB: Well arent you gonna be out tomorrow? My friends arent gonna go out and Im not coming alone haha so maybe thurs

ME: Huh? yeah ill be out tomorrow... and u wouldnt be by urself, u know me but I cant make you if you dont want to so you let me know

HB: Yeh I dont think ill come out by myself lol feel too weird, let me know later what ur up to on thurs!

After a lengthy convo with the melbourne lair guys, it was decided that "she is keen" and that I need to contact her again so I did again last night, this time I tried escalating a bit and the last 2 text from me were actually composed by me and 3 other guys (who are quite experieced I guess);

SECOND NIGHT;

ME: U sick of working yet? I bet youd rather be hanging out with me

HB: Haha im not at work for once! first day off in so long How was nevermind the other night?

ME: Yay freedom!! Wat r u gonna do with it? here is what I have in mind; my friends might be going to eve (a nightclub in melbourne) tonight but Id much rather get a quite drink, I know a really chill bar, u in? btw, nevermind was ok, last week was a lot more exciting tho

HB: Haha last week was good fun!! Im at my cousins place at the moment and I have a birthday that im meant to be going to with them later. Where is this chill ar haha

ME: I actuallyknow a few. One in the glen and a few in st kilda (these are suburbs of melbourne)

HB: (an hour later) Im not sure whats going on yet ill keep y posted are you planning on going to eve later?

ME: Im not 100% sure either, my friends are throwing the word ever around a lot today but no definite plans yet, hence why im thinking quite bar, feel like pre drinks? Im thinking glen and taking the night from there :p

HB: How am I meant to drive to the glen and then drink haha!! How am i gonna get home or to the bday if i come lol. I have not idea whats going on SPAM no one knows

ME: (this was with the advice of others) ok so come meet me at the glen, im driving so ill giv u a ride home at the very least. or if you promise not to snore ill let u sleep on my couch :p

HB: And then what do I do with my car lol! I think im gonna go to 161 (another bar) now with some people so let me know where you end up!

ME: (later, this was a pre prepared text, also from the community) Hey im on chapel st (this is near 161), is 161 is bangin?

HB: Im in bed watching dvds haha such a grandma! was gonna go to that bday but everyone bailed last min, have a good night! x


I nearly throw my phone at the wall when this happened, I know too emotional right? I was pissed cuz I went out specifically cuz I wanted to meet her. I actually had to drag one of my AFC friends out of the house to come with me, which means he is less likely to come next time I need him...

So what do u think? I smell bs, so im thinking dont bother contacting her again and if she call she call if not then whatever...

it sounds like you're placing too much pressure on her to meet up for her liking... and she may be a shy girl... maybe you dont seem like a trustworthy guy?? i dont know what it is... but i come off as this really trustworthy guy and i dont even go out on dates lol... i meet them at a club... text them a little bit... then like a few days later i get them to come around to my house to sleep the night lol.. maybe its not you... maybe it really is her... some women are weird like that... i can usually figure out 95% of women within the first 20 minutes but there's always that 5% i have to spend an extra 8 hours on lol... maybe she's part of that small percentage? who knows man... i'd maybe offer it to her once more and if she declines then i'd just save the number for the future

good luck mate

_________________
A wise man once told me
"Bros before hoes, unless hoes have no clothes!"

maybe she is stringing me along cuz she likes the attention?

you definitely are putting too much pressure to hang out, you are catering to her schedule more than your own. Even if the end result is the same you have to dress it up, you have to make it seem like YOUR free time (despite having so much of it) is valuable. I would of said "when do you have off?" after her response "me and a friend are thinking about heading to so and so, if you are around the area let me know it would be nice to see you".

women LOVE attention, if you text a woman first 90% of the time even if she is not interested she will text you back. maybe show a couple of signs of interest JUST to keep you around to give her attention and make her feel special.

ignore her for a couple of days and do your own thing, if she texts you back don't text her back right away give it some time. EVEN if she says she may be in the area, give it some sizable delay and tell her you are elsewhere. The less attention you pay to her the MORE attention she will give you.

You can see where it all turned around when you sent messages constructed by those guys.

One of the best things I ever learned was - never take DIRECTIONS from anyone. No matter how much success they've had - yes talk to them, ask them everything, take t all on board - but DO NOT follow step by step instructions and DO NOT let them put words in your mouth.

2 main reasons - only YOU are in your unique situation and only you can interact with it with your unique personality.

Take information and keep it in mind but make your own decisions in the moment.

Any good PUA knows that inner game is key and so it's about enhancing your ability to make the right decisions with your own mind. This is not an area of life where you can follow steps a,b,c and get result d. Human interaction is so complex, that we must use our right side of or brain which is used when there is too much information to process - it excels at recognizing patterns subconsciously through experience. And this manifests itself as a "feeling".

You will notice in my posts I encourage people to draw from themselves to make decisions and I only give examples to show what's possible, not exactly what to do.


From what I can see, the other posters are probably right - "sleeping on couch" was probably too forward, and may have worked for those pua guys who wrote that in an instance where the girl is already hot for him and waiting for the offer - but it seems in your particular situation, she just needed to be coaxed out and meet you in a safe environment for now. That was going well until the "sleep on the couch" message, and you probably even felt that at the time.

You probably still have a chance with her, but just come from the angle that you want to get to know her and are not concerned with making it a "date" scenario - eg. Sunday afternoon coffee is a good (but bland) example.