mentality of girl wanting to wait when good guy comes along?



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PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 7:23 am 
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i had sex with this girl when i first met her, and one more time after that. She is a 9 and we get along great. She is currently having sex with some other guy who she is not emotionally attached to. my question is how do i get her to start having sex with me. She says she likes me so much that she needs to wait and think its for the best, while at the same time she bangs this other dude. (she really does not like him). How do i get rid of the mentality of a girl wanting to wait when a good guy comes along? I was given a blow job 2 days ago so shes not completely holding out. Im not ok with being the loser who doesnt get laid by her.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 8:54 pm 
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Ouch! That sounds emotionally painful.. however, it sounds like you should break contact and freeze her out. This way, it looks to her like you have loads of options.. which you should aim to have!

You're her orbiter (look it up) at the moment. The other guy could be someone she's known for years and shagged on an off. I think if you let it get to you, she'll become your oneitis and you'll get burnt.

Next her, whether it be permanently or temporarily.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 3:48 am 
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good advice. a freeze out would be perfect. especially for this girl. The only problem ill have is the fact that she will deal with me freezing her out by having more and more sex with that other guy, or so i think. that happened last time i froze her out, but she still got really jealous and started double texting me when i wouldnt respond etc. I have definitely been in a oneitus case for the time ive been seeing her.

ughh its gonna hurt me emotionally to think about what shes doing/who shes doing when im not talking to her, but i guess its a small investment that will pay off in about a week or 2. I will start hooking up with the other girls on my list. The bad thing is that i like this girl so much i have no motivation to have sex with these other girls. oneitus is killing me!!!!!! but either way, im gonna start having sex with the other 2 girls that are open to it. the sad thing is that the freezout is probably gonna effect me more than her... but hey its the price to pay for liking someone too much.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 4:01 am 
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a definite freeze out is in place. if she's fucking other people you should be too. don't be the "b" guy.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:00 pm 
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What you're saying is true. You'll be imagining all this stuff that she'll possibly be doing with other guys. Most of us have imagined that stuff. It's not productive.

Isn't it a sod when you think you've got a really good connection with someone and think they're really special etc., but they don't feel the same way. The problem is, you'll start to overlook great qualities in the other girls you're with if you keep thinking this. If you do a total freeze out (probably permanent) but leave it on a positive note (a fun text or something) you'll feel better. I really think that in this case you should avoid any contact with her and start doing interesting and fun things again.. buy something cool, or go on holiday with mates etc. Take you mind off her.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:34 pm 
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I love the advise here. It may be difficult for you to freeze her out, especially when she clearly has this hold over you. I understand this too well. But from an outside perspective, it is for the best. But you really cant continuosly think about her. You have to try your best to be with other 9 or 10s. The reason you are so stuck on her is because you have tasted what you consider to be the best (that being a 9). Believe me when I say that there are others out there. Just go out and search for it.
I am in a similar situation because i was banging a 9. She was very sexy and attractive to me. However, she had to go back to school so our summer fling came to an end. It really finished because she banged an ex of her's. That hurts me so much because damn she told me that she loved me--that I was her everything. While letting her go breaks me, I am highly aware that I will not feel bad about letting her go when I find me another 9. So I patiently search while fucking other girls that somewhat attract me.
Truly though, never be someone's 2nd best. Fuck that! Your the man. You deserve to be the 1st. If you want her, put her second to another 9 or 10 that you get. That will guarantee that you do not have oneitis with her. She is not that important when you have another one to replace her.
It is just tough for you to see it as possible, right now at least, that you could want someone so much. You can! And you will once you go out there and become open to that possibility. So, forget her and play the game. Get yourself another 9 or 10 and place that one 1st. If you want to taste that other girl again, only do so because you know that she is your 2nd (or "B" option). Showing that to her will kill her too (like its doing to you).
Hope I could help....

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 12:26 am 
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So you had sex two times with this girl. But now she just gives you blowjobs?
She said she want to wait for sex because you're a good guy. But you already had sex and she gives you blowjobs? I consider this to be a situation I absolutely don't understand :-)
But possibly you're pushing to much for sex. You may sound like you really need sex with her. I would try to switch roles with her. Make it sound like she's the one who needs sex with you. Make it sound like you're way to good for her.
You're the price, not her.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 6:48 am 
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something might be wrong with her vagina. maybe a herpes break out? maybe bacterial vaginosis? maybe you made her sore? if she's blowing you on the reg, there could be something here that is much deeper than you think, that has nothing to do with you.

wrap it up!

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 3:32 pm 
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Freeze, move on, and find another girl.

Dude, 6 billion people on this planet and counting...there are MANY more 9s and 10s out there. You just have to jump back into the rat race to realize she is only ONE girl, out of atleast 3 billion.

Go get em.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 5:42 pm 
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She is full of shit. Don't fall for this crap.

Don't allow the woman to dictate all the terms for the relationship. If sex is a requirment you have.. she needs to be having sex with you. If she wont have sex with you then its time to say good bye and find someone who will.

Thats all there is to it.

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