background: met hb9 at bar thru a friend of a friend, hit it off rt away, next night we do a lot of kissing and dancing and she admits i was the hottest guy shes met in a while. (1st time that happened) also, i think she might be the hottest girl ive ever kissed.

the next weekend we meet again at a club downtown, more dancing and kissing. we do a little texting afterwards, giving me tons of positives and iois, she doesnt respond to my last text where i mention calling her later. im pretty strong about not texting back if i ask a question and they give no response at all. so i make the mistake of waiting 2 wks to text her bac. when i finally text her she says, "i thought id never hear from you again! vegas is fun, wish you were here!"

i invite her out to friends birthday at bar the next weekend but she doesnt respond. i think whats goin on is 1st shes 29yrs old and i dont think shes much of a texter. 2nd this girl is so passive unless shes drunk, she hasnt initiated one text, so i need to be extra aggressive with this one. 2nd i invited her to something that was a week away and prolly too far away to committ. so i text her few days later and she says she is recovering hard core from vegas and hasnt been able to move all day, texts go pretty good. this is how it ended:

me: "Keep resting up & u will get bettr soon. Just pretend u will get something really special from me when ur all better.....like a cookie "
her: Haha! Okay I will.. But u better have somethin special for me!! Lol!!

this was 7 days ago.


now, i need to ask her out asap, we haven't spoke on the phone yet. ive done a terrible job of escalating, but a great job of not appearing needy and appearing to be very busy.

goals:

-use nickname, easy for this girl, our first night she says, "xxxxx, can i be your sugar muffin?"
-remind her the fact that she gets a treat once shes better and she better claim it
-bring up that its been way too long since we have seen each other
-the reason is cuz ive been busy starting my real estate biz. i think this is what initially attracted her to me, she doesnt like her job and wants a new career and i told her she could make a lot of $ if she got her real estate lic. and she loved the idea.
-finally ultimate goal is to get her to say yes to hanging out this wknd.

my plan unless i hear a better one is to send a text along these lines:

Hey Sugar Muffin!! You able to move yet so you can claim your special treat?! Been way too long since we've seen each other, and its putting a lot of stress on our marriage. ;-( .....Ive been spending all my free time starting my real estate biz but im free this weekend, drop our kids off at the grandparents and lets hang out sat or sun, which works better for you?

OR:

Hey Sugar Honey!! You ready to claim your special treat yet?! or still cant move? So long since Ive seen you and its putting a lot of stress on our marriage. ;-( Ive been spending most of my free time starting my Real Estate Business but im free this weekend, drop our kids off at the grandparents and we will hang out Sat or Sun, which works better for you?

It's a complicated minefield because you both hit it off and like each other. I had the same problem last week. The most legendary date I ever will have lol. And then the second date a flake. Not even sure I will ever see her again because ofcourse I cant text her 2 times after she sent the flake excuse.

I don't know, both of your texts seem pretty good, but I'm afraid that the better the texts are the more likely she could be to avoid you, she might think if she sees you again she will totally fall for you and she doesn't want to fall for anyone for some reason, one reason might be because you might just ditch her or something like that, could also be other reasons.

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AFC from hell

I reakon you should shorten your text. Seems like you're trying to ask too much in one text and she may think you actually spent the last 7 days writing it.

Simply ask her how she is or send a funny text and get her to respond to that first. Once you have a response, then go ahead and ask her out.

wow yeah both of those texts are way, way too long.

if she has half a brain she'll instantly realize how hard you're trying (yes, sorry, you are trying way too hard. it's ok, we all do it sometimes, esp. when you feel great about a certain girl like you do in this situation) and that's a *huge* DLV.

if i were you, i would call her sunday around 7:30-8:30pm (good time when girls aren't doing much other than watching tv/homework/whatever) - spend a few minutes prior to doing this with a little plan (write down a few things to discuss over the phone if she picks up and of course 1-2 things to say if it goes to her voicemail). whatever you do, if it goes to voicemail, make sure you leave a message. even if it's really short and lame, it'll be better than nothing and show her your persistence. (keep it short)

either way, don't sound surprised nor excited when you talk to her on the phone - that will feed her validation instantly. you need to show her that in the last week/however long that you haven't seen her you haven't thought about her at all. when she sees this, she'll become more curious as to what you've been so busy doing.

hope that helps, let us know what happens for sure.