Hey guys,

I had a day 2, so I meet the HB, and we went for some coffee at starbucks, recently I found out coffee only is not the best day 2 location but I've learned for next time. On the day 2, we met it didn't start very well because I was almost 20 minutes late, and I initially teased that my name is SPAM and when I met I continued to joke about that, that she probably thought I was crazy and said "I'm scared I want to go home", that was not the best start. I broke her pattern by going into a story and routines.

Then we are getting coffee I find a place to sit where there are sofas so I can sit next to her and kino her. Now since we got there, I told stories, DHV, kino escalated, negged, push and pull, routines, games - the whole lot. And there were no awkward silences, she wasn't very talkative so I did like 80% of the talking. When I went for the kiss close about 30mintues to 1 hour into the day 2, she didn't want to, she's like I'm not that easy, and I negged "Hey I didn't say you can kiss me, what do you think I'm easy?"

Then okay cool, go into other routines and stories, and try to do the k-close again, now the one I did was Sinn's 'Almost Kiss', when I say lets almost kiss but not kiss and then she's meant to kiss, now at first she was giggling and saying why are you doing this I am embarrassed (she was really she shy and childish which as much as I don't like to get annoyed, annoyed me), after she agreed to do the almost kiss - we were next to each other our lips almost touching but she didn't go all the way to kiss - which I understand that's what's meant to happen, then she's like "ahh people are looking I'm embarrassed" - and then she didn't want to do the almost kiss any more, then I said on a scale of 1 -10 how much of a good kisser are you, let see blah blah - again nothing...overall - I don't understand whether I could do something different to improve OR whether she was very shy, self-conscious, childish and afraid of being a slut...she was 18 so there's no real justification for the childishness, what do you guys think could be improved here ?

p.s. even though there seemed to be a good vibe when I did the mystery compliance test of putting hand on my arm and then letting go and seeing if it stays there, it didn't so that was a bit of a neg sign but she didn't really have a problem with other compliance tests e.g. let me see your hands, and she gave her hands palm down i think.

Maybe I didn't create enough comfort only attraction.

I was also thinking maybe after the k-close failed I should have done a mini freeze out or punished her for that by negging more...

But it was an interesting experience overall

one last thought, she's polish and speaks english okay, but wants to learn english and doesn't know to many people, there is a chance that she met me just to practice english and if she did then that explains everything, but if that was the case oh well, I'm happy I had 2 hours of practising my routines

Kratos

Obviously her ASD was on high. She was not comfortable kissing you in front of whatever people where there. Create more comfort and ISOLATE, with nobody else around.

Maybe it seemed you were trying too hard with all the routines?

_________________
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. ~Winston Churchill

Bormad - I like your frankness, at first I was thinking no no that's not it BUT then I realised that in my game, on day 2's, I try too hard...today I was on a day 2 and I decided to do routines, but this time to just pause for a minute every now and then, and let the HB make the conversation, it's great because I actually felt more in control, and I felt less needy when I did that...and as soon as I did it the HB almost instantly tried to fill the gaps in the conversation

The other thing I realised is because I focused so much on attraction I didn't create enough comfort and have this connection...because since I was telling DHV stories, routines...I didn't get too know too much about her

I appreciate the frankness again, I don't know whether it was the main reason why I didn't get the k-close BUT without a doubt by not always doing routines and by pausing for a minute and letting them create interesting conversation instead of having all the responsibility in comfort building, is a brilliant idea

Cheers mate

Maybe that was just a change of practice between You and her. I'm from Poland as well and used to live in uk. During my stay I saw couple of girls, who just wanted to get some language skills. I suggest using more info about You to let her trust You more


Take care

Yo,vikratos_
man, first things first, you got my respect. Memorizing all those routines and puting them into practice is part of the job done well already.

But what i find from what i read in your post, is that you got drown in the routines and gambits, found in other peoples books. (dont wanna criticize or discourage you at all) Man all that is here to enrich your life, not to define it. (that are actually Mysterys words!)

So yeah, if youve done 80 percent of the talking in an hour, that means she contributed into conversation just 12 minutes. In a HOUR. As you ve said yourself, you didnt get to know much about her. So the girl spent an hour with a guy, mainly talking about himself in language, she is still learning. And you expect a kiss? Thats what i call CONFIDENCE!

From what youve written, it really shouts how needy you appeared to be. If i wasnt even there, and still think so, what did she think? Again, I M NOT TRYIN TO CRITICIZE! You ve got out of the house and played, thats what counts.

What i m tryin to say, i guess, is that this was already a day 2. That means, that you have shown enough value already, because she came to meet you again. (again, youve got my respect) Therefore all the attention should shift from you to her. Youre not supposed to be doing 80 % of talking anymore. Make her talk, ask question and build your routines on her responses. You are still in control of conversation, you still neg her and play, but it seems much more natural, because its all about her. And there you ve got your comfort.

Check my post about kiss closes, you might like it. Anyway, keep playin and remember, Nothing is a big deal!

_________________
Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together, and by regulating the action, which is under the direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.