Hey,

I had a great time with a girl a while ago when on a camp. Nothing actually happened because she had a boyfriend but there were definite IOIs, We hung out together for the entire time, hand holding and such. There were hints that her relationship was rocky. Sure enough, she told me on Facebook she broke up with him a couple of days later (don't have her number, but idiotically I could have done as I had her iphone and added myself to her facebook, which she thought was funny. Fuck I'm dumb.). I like to have thought it was my influence that caused that. I thought I was in for sure, but being a N00b I asked you good people what to do and the advice was to leave it and wait, so that i'm not seen as a rebound. (And the whole "durr Oneitis!! fuck 10 other women and forget it" shit, which is complete BS as if you're not getting any to begin with, and suddenly have a chance, why give up on it to start again elsewhere? And of course whenever/if an opportunity with another chick arises i'll take it, but you take what you can get and I thought I could get this. But I digress).

So with that advice I waited for a couple of weeks, and then realised it was kinda stupid as it became incredibly hard to just all of a sudden try to talk to her over Facebook as I had nothing to say as I haven't seen her again, ad she kinda moved on. I can't just go 'hey' as something would be up...it'd be like 'why are you talking to me all of a sudden, what's going on here'.

We have mutual mates (we all go to the same uni, they're and she is in a younger year, 17) and they know I like her and keep teasing me about it, so I think she obviously must know too. They keep asking how it's going, and are surprised when I say we haven't seen each other since then as people just assumed we were going out. That's how close we were on camp.

It's been almost 6 weeks since the first meeting. Surely the initial attraction's gone now? I even expect that she's back with her BF, her facebook still says single but they seem awful chummy for people who would hate each other (he allegedly cheated on her..that's what she said anyway). I mean, eventually we will see each other again at other social events but by that time she would have definitely moved on.

If I were to try to get in contact again, what should I say/do?

You should totally be like "hey, long time no see what you been up to?". She won't be like whats up, all your doing is saying hey to some one you met on camp, there is nothing wrong with that.

Also if she is single now, it shows your not desperate and needy, because you didnt try and hit on a girl with a boyfriend, its 6 weeks since you met her. Thats definately enough time not to be a rebound if your worried about it.

1. if she told you she broke up with her boyfriend a couple of days later, thats definately a good start.

2. When she asks what you've been up to, know what your going to say. Don't just say 'not much' or 'nothing'. Make it sound like you have shit happening even if you don't, it makes you sound like an interesting guy. Tell her a story or something which is entertaining and demonstrates value etc. Just got back from.....

3. You want to pounce and make your move now, or else some other guy will hit on her and you'll striaght up miss out.

4. Keep your facebook talk short and sweet otherwise you will just start rambling, start talking shit and sound like a tool. It's like a false time constraint. Tell her you'd love to stay and chat but you have to go..... whatever just make sure it sounds good, or is something shed be into. eg clubbing, to the pub with mates, they just got here, go karting, paintball etc. Don't brag about it but, kind of make her get the info off you. She'll be thinking wow, I'm sitting at home on facebook, hes about to go paintballing and hit some clubs. Fuck that sounds like a good night.

This also gives her something to talk to you about next time your online, how was paintball, how did the city go? Chances are she'll start a chat with you, and "hey hows it going" you.

5. Before you end the convo, say something like "we'll have to catch up sometime". Leave it open. Talk to her more, then organise something shed be into, concert/gig whatever. A good one is "im going to.......I have a spare ticket" whatever. If she is into you, she might try and organise something.

Comment on some of her status's n stuff, make sure u write funny/entertaining things. And dont comment on too many, you'll look like a stalker if you comment everything she does. Just every now and then drop a funny joke or something interesting, play around with her, neg her/tease her etc.

If you have mutual friends, you should have this is in the bag, your basicly in already you just don't know it.

Hope some of this helps.

Wow. thank you!! This was actually quite helpful. I am actually going out to paintball soon as it is, so this applies quite nicely. This sounds like something casual, simple and natural that I could actually pull off, no real routines or anything I have to remember/be something i'm not.

She's under 18 so that rules any bars/club stuff out, which is annoying. She's also never on facebook, never updates and has her account set up like fort knox so no-one sees any updates on their feed unless i'm assuming they'd be close friends. When I chatted to her she'd only be on it for a few minutes and just go with no warning, and take forever to respond. Although, my mates who are in her year tell me they have the same problem too when trying to organise assignments and such. I'm also kinda cautious to post anything on the actual Facebook page such as comments and whatnot as I know the boyfriend (ex? I don't know, the page now says single since she told me about the 'breakup') constantly comments/posts, and they seem fairly close still despite the nature of the breakup.

Thanks for your help. Now just need to find the balls to do it. In a way I've been hoping for ages just to randomly bump into her at Uni, it'd make things a lot easier.

Wow.. That was some good ish! Props

glad i could help out a little

God bless Facebook!

Nah, screw Facebook. I couldn't do it. She was online for ages too. I suck. I'm scared of how it might come across since she might think i'm stalking her and she'd be like 'this guy again? I thought I was rid of him". Fuck this all sucks. I need someone else to take my mind off her.

Wrong attitude.

Right attitude: Fuck it. You aren't going to lose anything by hitting her up. It's really not all that hard to be not-creepy. Just imagine yourself as a busy, fun guy that gets along with everybody and talk to her. If you talk to her with that attitude, she'll see you as a high-value person and will push to hang out with you (as opposed to you pushing to hang out with her).