| Recap: Met her a few weeks ago, vibed like crazy immediately, slept together in a week and a half...I've never vibed and clicked with someone this quickly ever (and she's said lots of similar things to me, texts before like "I've been thinking about you" "you've been mindfucking the shit out of me...time for the real thing" etc.
The issue: She's been seeing another guy for almost a year now. They never said that they were exclusive, but hooking up for a year has its own meanings obviously.
The dude would go insane if he found out about me. She tells me that she gets sick of him a lot, but might still like him, but doesn't know if that's real or just because it's such a comfortable situation because it's been going on for so long. I always tell her to stay talking to him...
She also got weird on me a couple days ago, clearly because she was freaked by how fast things were moving and how into me she was, etc. so she started trying to be more distant, abrupt, non-chalant, etc., which I just played off like nothing changed ("Always act as if...").
I tried to tell her last night that I felt like things were either "moving way too fast or not fast enough and I've never been in a situation like this, and it scares me (relax, vulnerability in specific situations is right)."
She said something like "I don't know how much attention I should be paying to you..."
"You mean like how much of an investment you should be putting in me?"
"No. yes. maybe...just how much attention I should be paying."
After that, I just went back to talking about and doing the things that made us work so well before, and by night's end, everything feels good, but I think this is the kind of chick I'd give a shot at a commitment with.
So here's the question:
What do I say to her to get her to say she wants this as bad as me? That she wants to try this relationship too? To get her to say "later dawg" to her other guy and feel totally comfortable and not confused and ready to try this with me...
I can't come out and say "I want a relationship...or something like that (cuz I'm really not even sure yet...I'd give it a try though) and I wouldn't dare tell her to leave her other guy, because it's not my place to tell her what to do, that's totally up to her (I have told her that she should totally stay with him because he clearly makes her so happy all the time -sarcasm- though, lol).
So what do I say? How do I frame it? How do I do it?
In need,
WorkEthic
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CHAT